


"Healing Ways"

by valleya



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26042020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valleya/pseuds/valleya
Summary: Teyla is struggling in the aftermath of Carson Beckett's death and other events. A simple trip to Athos for her to gain some perspective turns into a life and death battle for Sheppard and the team. As usual, everybody gets some type of whumping. My thanks to my beta reader, Teprac S, who made the story so much better in every way.
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Eight year-old Teyla Emmagan looked up from her drawing board and smiled at the older woman. "Charin, look, I drew a picture like the ones in the caves of the old city. Here are the great ships and these are the Wraith capturing our people with their culling beams."

Charin bent down to examine her work more carefully, her long flowing hair falling down to brush against Teyla's cheek. It smelled of fruits, spices, and wood. It was a scent Teyla loved. "Yes, child, your artistry is very good, but do you not want to draw something beautiful? Perhaps, some pretty pictures of flowers or your family?"

Little Teyla shook her head and said with a solemn air, "One day I will lead our people. I need to remember the Wraith and what they have done to us. I must keep our people safe."

Charin wrapped her arms around Teyla and squeezed, then kissed the top of her head. "Yes, you will lead one day, but until then you will be my little Teyla to love. Do not grow up before your time."

Teyla slipped out of Charin's hold and jutted out her chin in defiance. "I will be nine next week. When I am nine, I cannot play so much."

Charin frowned, putting her hands on her hips. "Do you mean you will be too old to help me make tuttle root soup or sweet nakura bread? Or work with the other women in the village making the special ceremonial clothes for the fall harvest? It saddens me to think you will miss such wonderful things just because you are nine."

Teyla squirmed in her seat, looked away and sighed. "Perhaps that will happen when I am ten instead of nine."

Charin smiled then leaned closer, lifting Teyla's chin. "Perhaps, but since you are still eight years old today, can you give this old woman a hug and a kiss?"

Teyla smiled, stood and embraced her, her small arms wrapping around Charin's waist. She gave her a kiss before pulling back. Charin put a hand to her face. "Ah, your love makes my heart young again. I am very glad you have not grown too old for that, for when one forgets how to love, one begins to die inside."

Teyla put a hand over Charin's hand still resting on her cheek. "I will never be too old for you, Charin. Never ever, not as long as I live."

Charin pulled her into another hug. "Time changes many things, but not our love."

She kissed Teyla, and then took a few steps away from her. "Come, we will play later. Now, it is time to work. I must show some of our young people how to find the herbs and roots we use for different healing treatments. Do you think you could help me with that?"

Teyla beamed at Charin and scrambled to follow the woman, perfectly content with her place in life. She knew where she was going and why.

**oOoOoOoOo**

"Are you sure you're okay?" John Sheppard asked Teyla Emmagan as he set his backpack beside hers on the bench seat in the rear compartment of Puddle Jumper Three.

Teyla sensed the concern in his question and glanced at him. He was fiddling with an open zipper on his pack. His question seemed nonchalant, but Teyla had known him long enough to know better. Something was bothering him. John continued as he placed the pack in an overhead compartment, "You've been on the quiet side lately."

 _He wants to talk_ , Teyla thought with a sigh. **Now** , _he wants to talk._

It was a strange role reversal, especially after the weeks she'd spent trying to get him to talk about Carson Beckett's death. Him, along with Rodney and Ronon. All three were stubborn and stoic to the end. Then there was Andonda. Now, talking was the last thing Teyla wanted to do. She took a slow breath, ignoring the ache of her side as she moved to sit in the copilot's seat, hoping to speed their departure. 

He followed her forward, but didn't sit. Scratching his neck, he said, "This past month has been very hard for you...for all of us."

He hesitated, as if there was something more he wanted to say, but he just couldn't find the right words. John often meant well, but heart-to-heart conversations weren't his strong suit. 

Teyla smiled politely, though she knew the smile wouldn't reach her eyes. Her gaze couldn't reflect what she didn't feel. If anything, it would reveal the grief that held her victim, a grief that was the reason behind her desire to return to Athos. 

Something Charin once said crossed her thoughts and she welcomed the memory. _"This land can restore a troubled spirit if you let it."_

She sighed. The elderly woman's love and wisdom had often carried her through dark times. _I pray you are right, Charin, for I would dearly welcome the peace that has eluded me of late._

"Teyla?"

Teyla blinked and turned to see John crouched at her side, eyeing her closely. 

"Yes?" she asked, at a complete loss for his proximity.

John's expression tightened with worry, and he asked, "You didn't hear anything I just said, did you?"

Chagrined, Teyla shook her head. Had she been focusing so hard on the past that she was ignoring the present? She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath as she caught John's troubled gaze. "My apologies. My mind was somewhere else for a moment. What was it?"

John swallowed and said, "Listen, I know Keller cleared you for this trip, but maybe we should reschedule it for another time. You don't look like you're quite back on top of your game yet."

She shook her head, dismissing his suggestion. "This is something I must do, but you need not stay overnight with me. I will be quite safe. You could return for me in the morning – "

"I'm going with you and that's it," John said, then frowned as if he realized he'd said the words with a little too much force. 

He stuck out his chin and added quietly, "Weir's orders. We don't know if the Wraith have been back there or who else has wandered in since our last visit. We'd feel better knowing there was someone watching your back."

Teyla felt her face flush with anger. "I have often camped for weeks at a time by myself – "

John's eyes reflected understanding as he put up a hand and interrupted her, "And you could do it again this time, I know. Just bear with us. We almost lost you twice recently between the explosion on Atlantis and that attack on Andonda."

Her gaze held his for a moment before darting to the console in front of them. Guilt replaced anger and she shook her head slightly. Her voice was low as she said, "Yet, I live."

John sighed with obvious frustration. "Well, don't sound so enthused about it." 

Then his voice softened as he stood. "After everything that's happened, I thought you might need someone to talk to, someone to hang out with – maybe blow off a little steam. You know, that's what team members do for one another."

She didn't say anything; she simply stared out the front of the jumper as she tried to rein in her volatile emotions. 

_That's what team members do for one another._ It was almost word for word what she had said to him after he came back from Carson's funeral on Earth, trying to break through the wall of grief John had erected around himself. 

Thinking of Carson again stole her breath a little. She understood why John had put up those walls – they had all done it to a certain extent. Carson had been the heart of Atlantis and without him, it was difficult to hear the pulse of the city. The man had been more than their medical doctor; he'd been their friend, confidant, and conscience.

Carson. Charin. And so many others now gone...all of those losses had chipped away at her soul, leaving her feeling less a person than she'd once been. Then again, whom would she have become if her life hadn't been enriched by their love and trust, their encouragement and applause, their steady day in, day out presence in her life?

Teyla felt a hand on her shoulder, drawing her gaze back to him. "Teyla, I hate to repeat myself, but are you okay?" John asked quietly.

She looked up into his concerned gaze, searching those expressive hazel eyes of his for answers she knew he couldn't give her. His eyebrows knitted together as he moved closer, asking, "What? What is it?"

She stared at him for another moment, not wanting to give voice to her thoughts, yet the words tumbled from her lips. "Do you ever miss those that you have lost? Do they ever haunt your thoughts?"

The question seemed to take John aback a bit. He frowned as if she had just crossed a line between them, passing into areas much too private to enter without permission. He raised a hand to rub the back of his neck, as if stalling for time.

She used a quiet tone to stop him. "I am sorry, you do not need to answer. Come, let us get started."

He moved his hand from his neck to her arm. "Is that what this trip is about? You're missing someone? Is it Carson?"

Teyla closed her eyes, knowing she had revealed more than she was comfortable with. "It is not just – it is only – I hope to gain some much needed perspective by visiting familiar ground again."

John moved his hand away, but remained close to her. "Look, you had a scare. You were in a bad way by the time we found you on Andonda," he said, then his gaze bore into hers. "Personally, I think that old woman did something to you before she died."

Teyla stared him, unable to speak and unable to move away. Finally, she said, "No, she did not, at least not in the way you think."

John pressed on. "Well, if it's not that, if it's about Carson or someone else you're missing, wouldn't it be better to stay right here and visit Heightmeyer or some of the Athosians on the mainland? I mean, it's pretty on Athos, but the place would seem kind of lonely without your kinsmen around."

Teyla felt her expression tighten and then relax. "No, Athos is where I need to be, but thank you for your concern." 

John combed a hand through his unruly hair. "Sometimes, I think our team has way too much stubbornness for our own good," he muttered, then he sighed. "I'm sorry. I think you'd do so much better with Heightmeyer than me in this situation."

She turned back to face him fully, confused and a little irritated, causing her to speak without thinking. "Because you do not miss those who have departed?"

A look of hurt crossed his expression before he tucked it away, but it lingered in his voice as he said softly, "I know what it's like to miss someone I've lost."

She leaned forward, regretting the question immediately as she placed a hand on his arm. What was wrong with her? She knew how private John was about his feelings. He was grieving Carson's absence just as much as she was, perhaps more. He'd just been trying to help her and all she'd done in repayment was cause him more pain. She whispered an Athosian curse under her breath and looked up at him. 

"I know you do, John. I know this deep in my heart. I am sorry for my careless words, I did not mean for my question to come out that way – "

His gaze skimmed around the jumper without focusing on anything. "Don't apologize. Just... just promise me you'll talk to Heightmeyer if this – whatever it is – hangs on, okay?"

She nodded and John gave her an encouraging smile, and then his voice took on a sheepish tone. "There is something I need to talk to you about – "

A noise behind them caused Teyla to glance back. What she saw at the rear of the jumper made her stand in confusion. "Ronon, Rodney? Why are you here?"

Her alarm grew when she noticed the two men were laden with backpacks ready for travel. John put up a hand in a calming motion as he followed her. "Now, Teyla, just listen for a moment – "

McKay set down his backpack beside Teyla's, huffing slightly. "Why are we here? You mean, he didn't tell you yet?"

"Tell me what?" 

She looked at John for answers but John was too busy glaring at Rodney with an exasperated intensity, one usually reserved for McKay's worst faux pas. "I told you two to give me a few minutes alone to talk to her first," he said through clenched teeth.

"It's been a few minutes," Rodney threw back at him with equal irritation, "And it wasn't like you were asking her to sign over her firstborn. We are her friends, after all. Her very concerned friends, I might add." 

He straightened as if just remembering Teyla's presence and winced, glancing over at her, looking a little guilty. 

"Well, I was just bringing up the subject when you came barreling in here," John said, his aggravation sending oppressive waves inside the suddenly too small jumper. 

Rodney waved a hand to hurry John along. "Well, Zelenka's raring to shut down the gate for a couple of hours to do some maintenance work and would like us to leave as soon as possible. Besides, what's the big deal? We're just hitching a ride along with the two of you."

Ronon, who was standing behind Rodney, rolled his eyes. "I told him we should wait a little longer." 

Rodney looked insulted by the comment. Ignoring him, Ronon set his pack on the seat and looked at Teyla before saying, "Sorry."

Teyla's mouth was gaped open, comprehension slowly dawning. "You want to go with us to Athos? For what purpose?"

Ronon stepped closer to her. "You need us around, whether you know it or not."

John nodded. "We'll give you lots of time alone to do what you need to do on Athos, but we want to come along for support."

Teyla wasn't sure what she was feeling, but it seemed overwhelming; anger, frustration, an invasion of privacy – a whole host of emotions roiling inside of her so intense it almost made her dizzy. To throw it off, she pushed her way through Ronon and Rodney to walk to the rear of the jumper, needing some distance from all of them.

Amidst everything else, a part of her was deeply touched by their concern, knowing it came from true friendship, but the positive emotions were quickly overshadowed by her need to be alone, to heal, to become whole again. She had to come to some sort of resolution with what she'd been feeling and it wouldn't come easily if she was constantly bumping into the three of them. John alone would have been difficult to tolerate, but with Rodney and Ronon added to the mix, self-reflection and meditation would be impossible.

John cleared his throat, trying to look casual, but it was obvious he thought the situation was awkward. "It's up to you, Teyla. Are we all going to Athos or not?"

"It has always been my intention to go to Athos," she said firmly and not too kindly.

John gave her an encouraging smile and spread his hands in front of him. "Then how about we go and help you set up camp? Then we can talk about who stays or not?"

She stared at her teammates in silence. Yes, and it will be twice as difficult to send them away once they are already there. _John Sheppard, you are a wily man when it comes to getting what you want from your people._

A little voice deep inside of her said she should let her teammates accompany her to Athos – that perhaps she needed laughter more than silence, friends more than ghosts, and the present more than the past, but she wasn't sure if her needs would outweigh the compulsion she felt to be alone. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

Zelenka's voice came over their radio headsets. "Rodney, what's the delay? If you are going, then leave already. I have teams waiting to get to work."

Rodney hit his radio. "Don't get your underwear in a bunch, Radek. We are talking about it right now and – "

Teyla opened her eyes and met Rodney's gaze. Her tone was low when she said, "There is no need to wait. We can leave now."

McKay's eyes widened in surprise. "All of us? Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yes, but let us do it quickly before I change my mind."

John grinned and patted her on the shoulder. "I've just got to do a quick pre-flight check and we'll be on our way."

John finished by the time everyone was in their seats. "Okay, people, next stop, Athos."

Teyla didn't speak as the jumper dropped down into the gate room, feeling a certain level of tension leave her body now that they were actually on their way. She caught John watching her with a long sideways glance, then he busied himself with the radio. "Flight, Jumper Three ready to depart."

"May you find what you're looking for, Teyla," Dr. Elizabeth Weir offered. Her tone was serious, but then it shifted. "And if the rest of your team start driving you crazy, you have my permission to shoot them."

When Teyla smiled and gave John a questioning look, he sighed and said, "Yes, Elizabeth, you already have our word that we'll behave."

Teyla looked across the distance separating them. "Thank you."

"Safe travels."

John winked at Teyla and said, "It's my specialty."

"Please, John, don't tempt fate," Elizabeth replied, a smile echoing in her voice. "I'll see you all when you get back."  
  
A moment later, they went through the stargate. The familiar landmarks of Athos appeared as they emerged from the gate, making Teyla's heart swell with happiness. But there was also a bittersweet sadness that came with that joy, a sadness that had been with her ever since Carson had died, a sadness made more poignant after Andonda, and one that hadn't given her a moment's peace since then.

Teyla studied the terrain below and straightened in her seat. Obviously, heavy storms had deluged the area for an extended length of time. Storms were common in the spring, but she saw evidence of unusual landslides, varying in size from small to large. She knew landslides only came after the most severe rains. 

"Athos has weathered some major storms in our absence," she said.

John whistled as he took note of the damage. "I guess so."

He craned his head to view as much of the open sky as possible through the windshield. "There aren't many clouds out now." 

The HUD appeared in front of them, displaying various atmospheric readings. Rodney stared at them, then said, "Well, it doesn't look like more rain is in the immediate forecast, but that doesn't mean another storm couldn't come in overnight. I tend to catch my death of cold when I get wet. Do you, uh, still want to do this, Teyla?"

Teyla nodded, knowing her teammates had no idea how important the timing of this trip was to her. "Yes, I do."

Rodney made a face and Ronon noticed. "Don't worry, McKay, you can't die from a little rain."

McKay's expression took on a dramatic edge. "No, maybe not at first thought, but when you factor in hypothermia, pneumonia, drowning...well, the list can get pretty damned scary."

"Just drop it for the moment, will you?" John sounded more like an exasperated parent than a military commander and asked, "Okay, Teyla, where do you want us to set down?"

She pointed. "There, near the old city. That is where I will find the macca root. We can make camp on the far side of the ruins. There is a place that will shelter us from the elements of the night and water will be close by."

John turned the jumper in that direction. Ronon asked, "What's this macca root used for?"

Teyla searched the landscape for the area where she knew the macca root grew. "We burn it when we meditate, and also during the memorial tea ceremony to bring us closer to those we have lost."

She stopped speaking as John slowed the jumper preparing to land and it sunk in that she was finally home again. She almost sighed with relief until another realization hit her hard. Over the past few years, she had grown to think of Atlantis as home. Just now, flying over such familiar territory, she realized how deeply she had missed Athos, as if seeing it now made the loss she'd been feeling all the more real, blurring the borders of what she once called home and where she now lived. 

John landed in a clearing. Teyla was on her feet before he'd finished shutting down the engines. She donned her backpack, and opened the jumper's rear hatch. Good manners made her wait for the others to join her before she exited. The scents of Athos drifted in on a light breeze, and she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes with the memories that came unbidden. 

She was home again, albeit the home of a much younger Teyla Emmagan, one who hadn't known the wonders of Atlantis, or its dangers; a Teyla who was to be the next leader of her people; a Teyla who still had Charin to help guide her. She squeezed her eyes shut; how she missed that dear lady. 

Rodney cleared his throat and motioned with his hand for her to go ahead of him. She stepped out onto the soft earth, the past and the present again merged as she looked out across the clearing, remembering times from earlier springs. She could almost see Charin walking on the path alongside her father, deep in discussion, as they'd often done. 

Her reaction was more than emotional, and she felt its weight in her body as well. She knew her father and Charin were gone, but knowing in it her head and feeling it in her heart were two separate things. It didn't matter if they'd been gone for days or years, the grief was still there waiting to well up at a moment's notice, making the ache in her heart far worse than any physical pain she might have suffered with recent injuries. It only grew when she thought of Carson. So many gone.

She almost jumped when John came up beside her and said, "You wanted to go to Athos and here you are. What's next?"

She drew herself together and met his gaze as she pointed ahead with one hand. "The old city."

John nodded, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders while Ronon closed the rear hatch. Teyla barely glanced back as she took off, heading for the city, knowing John and the others were right behind her. They'd walked for nearly a minute when she heard John stop and turn back to Ronon and ask, "What is that?"

By the time she spun around to look, both men appeared apprehensive, then she heard it, too. It was a low rumbling sound that came from behind them, making the ground beneath their feet shake. The rumbling grew louder and they had just enough time to share an alarmed gaze before the area just beyond the jumper crumpled away into a hole, a huge sinkhole. In the span of a single breath, the jumper disappeared as well. 

Teyla stared in disbelief as the rift in the ground moved toward them. John waved her and Rodney on as he shouted, "Run!"

They took off with Ronon catching up to them quickly, but they weren't fast enough to escape the scope of the widening sinkhole. The ground under Teyla's feet disappeared. There was an awful moment when she was free-falling, then she toppled down, along with the shifting dirt, foliage, rocks and her teammates to an unknown fate. 

**oOoOoOoOo**


	2. Chapter 2

For a long moment, Teyla did nothing but rest on her back, breathing slowly, mostly because it hurt too much to do anything else. With her eyes squeezed shut, she swallowed hard to force down rising bile. Her head throbbed, but the pain in her side was stronger. She held a hand to her side, knowing she'd re-injured the area for a third time in less than a month. 

When she looked up through the opening of the sinkhole, she saw sunlight streaming in. Long beams of light pierced the darkness of the newly opened cavern, like the forefront of an attacking army. It gave the place a harsh feeling, the areas of dark and light fighting for dominance. After a moment, her eyes adapted and she found herself lying at the edge of a rushing stream, its powerful noise drowning out almost everything else. 

Undoubtedly, the stream caused the sinkhole. An extensive cave system ran beneath this whole area. She remembered wandering through the huge caves as a child with her friends in an almost hushed reverence, but never when it was raining. It was far too dangerous, something their parents wouldn't permit. 

If the caves had been flooded with the runoff from the heavy rains, it could have caused erosion of the natural limestone rock that lined the caves, weakening the layers of stone enough for them to give way, and it brought everything from the surface down with it. Such dramatic collapses only happened with very heavy storms; the last time many decades before.

This sinkhole was huge, running at least three hundred feet from end to end, and it was a good sixty feet deep. The steep angle of the walls made it impossible to climb out, its edges unstable and its incline steep. More alarming, the sinkhole was still growing, although at a much slower pace with rocks, dirt, plant and animal life continued to fall inside. 

Something large and metallic glinted at her from a distance and she realized it was their puddle jumper. It was lying at a slight angle, beside the running river, and covered by rock, dirt and other debris. The jagged edge of the sinkhole loomed ominously just beyond the jumper. She could see the jumper's rear hatch and starboard side of the jumper and engine pod, but the rest was obscured by the rubble. A little like herself, seeing how she was half-buried in dirt, too. 

For a moment, she worried about how they would escape the confines of the sinkhole without the jumper, but first she needed to free herself. She moved her arms and legs, and the soil gave way easily. She stopped when she heard a nearby groan. Concern for herself vanished as she thought of the others. She sat up with a gasp as her awkward weight of her backpack held her down. It was a hindrance, especially with the pain in her side, so she slipped off the shoulder straps and called for them. "John? Rodney? Ronon? Can anyone hear me?"

"Good Lord, do you have to shout?" came a grumbled reply from the shadows close by. The comment was followed by another long groan and then in a loud mutter, "Some of us have exceptionally good hearing." 

"Rodney," she said in a rush, but she still couldn't see him. "Where are you?"

The maddening echo effect inside the sinkhole made it hard for her to pinpoint his voice.   
"Here."

She got to her knees, then almost tipped over as the loose soil shifted. She scanned the area quickly. "Where? I cannot see you."

"Well, I can see you. I'm to your left, in the shadows, about four meters away."

She turned and started to get to her feet. "No, no, no! You've gone too far to your left! Pay attention! There's a large boulder in front of me. See, I'm waving my arm!"

This time, she caught some slight movement in that direction and waved back. She forced herself to stand, ignoring the pain and vertigo she felt. She hugged her hand close to her side as she walked. The slightest movement was like fire licking at her wound and she knew she had at least damaged the area around her healing surgical incision. 

When she arrived, Rodney's sarcasm greeted her. "Well, if you're here to help, I better plan on saving myself. You look like hell."

Teyla knelt beside him and said, "Do not be judgmental, Rodney. You do not look much better yourself. Are you injured?"

He grunted, then hissed in reply. "Of course, I am," he whined as he tried to shift his position, but the mound of dirt surrounding him made it difficult. "Why else would I be writhing on the ground in agony?"

Rodney wiped a dirty hand across his forehead and stammered, "Why-why does there always seems to be this dark cloud of doom following us around on our missions? I ask you, why is that?"

"We are not on a mission, Rodney," she said simply as she helped him to sit up.

"Well, that's even worse. Why is there this dark cloud of doom following us around when all we want is a day or two of R&R? Is a little peace of mind too much to ask for?"

"Apparently so," she said, her heart asking the same question. "Now, where are you hurt?"

He shifted, only to grimace again, putting a hand to his right leg. "My foot's stuck under this boulder."

Teyla licked her lips, trying her best to be diplomatic. "It is not exactly what I would consider to be a boulder, but it is big."

Rodney didn't seem to hear her comment. "I'll be lucky if my foot isn't crushed beyond repair."

Teyla's head dipped down to prevent Rodney from seeing her expression. At times, Rodney's sense of drama wore very thin. She examined how the rock sat against his foot. "I am sure it is very painful, Rodney, but I think your foot is merely trapped."  
She changed position. "Hold on, I will try to move the rock – "

He put up a finger to correct her, but she saved him the effort. "I am sorry, I will try to move the _boulder_. Be ready to pull your foot away the moment the pressure is released."

Rodney braced himself as best he could, holding his knee, ready to pull it away. Teyla bent, placing all her weight against the heavy rock as she pushed. What she got for her effort was a louder groan from Rodney and a skyrocketing ache in her head, side and white sparks behind her eyes. Perhaps, Rodney was correct – perhaps, boulder was a more apt description after all.

She took a deep breath, preparing to try again when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Ronon looming above her. He was a welcome sight, even though he looked the worse for wear. His left arm hung limply at his side and his gaze seemed slightly unfocused.

"You, too, are injured," she said as a statement instead of a question.

"Busted arm, but it's not bad. I'll move the rock for you. I just need to get into position where you are – "

"Boulder," Rodney chimed in. "It's a boulder, not a rock, if you please. A rock is something easily tossed around. A boulder is something that is squeezing the hell out of my foot, so hurry, damn it!"

Teyla stood and took note of Ronon's battered appearance. Like the rest of them, he was covered in dirt, cut and bleeding, but if he said he could move the rock, she believed him. Without his usual grace, he moved to his knees beside Rodney's leg and pushed. Rodney yelped as if someone had just driven an armored tank over his foot, but there was relief in his expression afterwards. 

Ronon rocked back on his heels, then awkwardly plopped down on his butt in the dirt. Teyla moved beside him and put out a hand to steady him. Dex had grown a few shades paler after his exertion and the sight disturbed her.

"I'm fine, just lost my balance," Ronon murmured. "Check on McKay's foot."

Rodney didn't miss a beat. "Yes, check my foot. I probably have multiple fractures," he said with more than a little pain echoing in his voice as he worked to remove his boot. Obviously, he hadn't seen the change come over Ronon. "Oh, God, they amputate crushed limbs, don't they?"

Teyla put a hand on his arm. "Do not try to remove your boot. If there is swelling, you will not be able to get it on again. Besides, it can form a natural cast around the injury until we can get you to the infirmary – "

Ronon suddenly glanced around, interrupting her, "Where's Sheppard?"

Teyla straightened with Ronon's question. She stepped away from the two men, calling, "John? John, respond if you can."

When there was no answer, she stood perfectly still for a moment, using all of her senses to find him, but came up with nothing. 

"John!" she practically shouted this time.

"He shouldn't be too far away," Ronon said, wiping the dirt from his hand on his pants leg, preparing to stand. "We were all bunched pretty close together."

Rodney rubbed at his leg as his gaze swept around the area. "Oh, God, what if he's buried somewhere under a ton of debris while we were just standing around doing nothing to help him? Well, you were standing, I was trapped, so it's not my fault – " 

Ronon stood, though he still looked winded from moving the rock off Rodney's foot. "We'll find him," he said simply.

Before he could take a step, John appeared out of the shadowed areas, covered from head to toe in mud and leaves. He waved a hand and said, "Stand down. I'm right here. It took me a couple of minutes to get out from under a damned tree branch that had me pinned."

Teyla let out a long breath of relief. "And you are well?"

"A hell of a lot better than the three of you look," he said with a cocky smile. "Now, if I can only find a hot shower and a frosty beer, life would be good."

Teyla took a deep breath, relieved to see he was safe. "Yes, it would, but as we are trapped at the bottom of this sinkhole, perhaps we can postpone those good thoughts until we are free."

John nodded, then his gaze went to where the jumper was sitting. His expression darkened. The jumper wasn't a huge ship, but it wasn't small, either. Seeing it half buried in a pile of dirt, rock and vegetation that dwarfed its size considerably.

"If you're all okay, I'm going to check the jumper out," he said as he headed in that direction, "and see about getting us home ASAP." 

"I will go with you," Teyla said. She turned to Ronon and Rodney. "Maybe you two should rest here a minute."

Rodney nodded and shifted to lean against a tree trunk as he elevated his foot to rest atop the hotly debated rock/boulder. "Take your time, I'm not going anywhere...at least not until the jumper is ready." 

Ronon glanced at him and back to Teyla. "I'll stay with him and make sure he's okay."

"Gee, thanks, Dad," Rodney grumbled. "Do I get ice cream if I'm good?"

"Shut up, McKay," Ronon said, holding his arm as he sat on a nearby boulder. He grinned and looked at Rodney as he patted the rounded stone underneath him. "Now, _this_ is a boulder." 

"Oh, give me a break," Rodney shot back.

Teyla left them arguing back and forth, and went to join John. Once she got closer, she pulled a flashlight from her tac vest and turned it on. Inside the sinkhole, there were areas where the edges of the abyss had deposited more rubble than others. The jumper was at the base of one of those piles. As she walked the length of the jumper, heading to the rear of it, she noted in greater detail how the debris was piled over the top, front and port side of the jumper. 

She worried about being able to access the rear hatch, but was relieved to see it was relatively clear. The sight of the hatch opening when John touched the controls made her sigh with relief. They could still get into the jumper and hopefully out of this pit once John checked out the jumper's systems. 

She brushed her bangs from her forehead with the back of her hand. This wasn't how she'd envisioned her return trip to Athos, scrambling to stay alive, instead of doing the soul searching she'd planned. Yet, somehow, she didn't seem to mind it much. Their predicament forced her to concentrate on living and not dying. Deep down, she knew she'd spent far too much time lately dwelling on the dead. 

**oOoOoOoOo**

John was in the pilot's seat running systems checks as Teyla entered the jumper. She sat down beside him in the copilot's seat. He punched in the gate address for Atlantis and said, "Atlantis, this is Jumper Three. Can you read me?"

John waited for a moment. "Atlantis, this is Sheppard, do you copy?"

There was still no reply. He sighed, glancing at Teyla. "On the off chance you can hear this message but we can't receive you, this is our situation."

After giving a brief description of their location, he added, "Just look for the hole in the ground the size of Manhattan. This is Sheppard signing off."

He looked over at Teyla. "They are probably gearing up to come to our rescue as we speak," he said with a wink.

She frowned. "Do you think Atlantis is not answering because of the maintenance work Dr. Zelenka and his teams were going to perform?"

John pursed his lips together as he thought. "Damn, I forgot about that. Well, we should still try them every half hour, just in case."

Standing, he peeked out the front window, but there was little to see beyond the rocks that sat in front of the forward window. "Until we get through to them, we should see what we can do to get ourselves out of here."

"Perhaps we can dig enough to clear the jumper without – " Teyla said as she started to stand. She sank back into her seat though, closing her eyes for a moment as the pain in her side flared again. When she opened them, John was in front of her with the jumper's medical kit in hand.

"Hey, now, don't go passing out on me," he said softly. "Just how badly were you hurt?"

She smiled for his benefit. "I will be fine in a moment."

Sheppard eyed her carefully, causing her to touch his arm. "Really, it is just sore." 

"Well, give yourself a chance to recover. That was one hell of a trip we had coming down – definitely an E ticket ride."

As he opened the medical kit, he frowned, glancing at the forward window again, squinting to look out of the half of the window that wasn't covered with dirt, rock or mud. She could see him deep in thought about the best way to resolve their problems when he realized his attention had wandered. "Sorry, let's see what you've done to your side."   
She leaned back in her seat and unzipped her tac vest, then her jacket. John carefully lifted the lower edge of her shirt enough to see the bandage. Cursing, he pulled the adhesive of the bloody bandage away. When she glanced down, she saw some of her stitches had indeed pulled free and the wound was bleeding. 

Shaking his head, he opened a field dressing and wrapped it around her, muttering, "Beckett is never going to let you go anywhere with me ever again – " 

Then he paused, realizing what he'd just said. He closed his eyes for a moment and stammered, "I mean – Keller won't – ah, damn it to hell."

He had started to pull away when Teyla touched on his shoulder. "We all miss him, John. Even though our minds know that he is gone, our hearts still refuse to accept it. It is a tribute to the man that he permeates our subconscious so completely that we struggle to keep him alive in our thoughts."

Sheppard's head hung down for a moment. "Atlantis just isn't the same without him," he said softly. 

"I know," she answered as she squeezed his shoulder, sharing a quiet moment of openness, something so subtle the average person wouldn't take note, but with John Sheppard, the moment spoke volumes. Then it passed and he backed away a little, opening some gauze pads to put a couple against her bleeding temple. 

"Here, keep pressure on that. I'm going outside while the diagnostics run to see if we have any other visible damage...as in the drive pods, otherwise we might be walking home."

Suddenly, she felt responsible for their current plight. She sighed, causing him to eye her more closely again, though she avoided his gaze. After a moment, she said, "Perhaps you should have just dropped me off when you had the chance."

He gave her a big smile along with two tablets of Tylenol and a bottle of water. "And miss this big adventure? Do I have wimp tattooed on my forehead?" He winked at her as he stood. 

"Take the Tylenol. I'll be right back. I'm going to check out the communications array up top. Rest while I'm gone."

With that, he disappeared out the back of the jumper.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	3. Chapter 3

Teyla closed her eyes, waiting for the analgesic to kick in. The cumulative burden of her injuries, along with the emotional roller-coaster ride she'd been on for the last month, had finally caught up with her, leaving her exhausted. As it had happened in recent days, Charin came to visit her in her dreams, causing her to remember another troubled time in her life, back when she was nineteen. 

"You must release your grief, Teyla, so that the healing can begin. It is time, child," Charin whispered into her ear as she held her tightly. "Release it before it becomes a raging river coursing through your heart."

Teyla felt her shoulders shudder as she sobbed, the crushing sense of loss weighed down upon her once more. Her father, Tagan Emmagan, was gone, culled by the Wraith, along with several of her people. It didn't seem possible that his towering strength, a man so full of life, had been taken from her. One loss seemed tied to another thought long ago resolved as images of her mother swept before her mind's eye. She'd lost the two most important people in her life, almost before she'd even started to see her own young life unfold.

She didn't even try to talk, knowing nothing but breathless sounds would come out. She'd remained strong after the culling – partly due to shock or denial – but now in this private moment with Charin, it all came crashing down on her. She wasn't sure how long she cried, but the sun had gone down somewhere along the way and there was a chill in the air. 

Charin pulled away and reached into a pocket to retrieve a small hand cloth. She wiped Teyla's face and gave her a sad, encouraging smile, then she moved to the hearth, and came back to hand her a cup of hot tea.

"Drink this," she said simply.

Teyla took the cup with shaky hands and held it to her lips. She sipped the steaming brew, well aware of its calming properties. Charin reached out to wipe a stray tear from Teyla's cheek. Teyla's voice cracked as she met Charin's gaze and asked, "Will it always feel like this when I think of him?"

Charin's smile grew wistful. "Time eases the ache, but it always remains. The trick is to remember his love for you when the pain is strongest. Think of the times you loved him the most. Think of all you learned from him. He was a gift from the Ancestors and you must always remember that. He, above all others, would not want his passing to cause you pain."

Trying to be strong like her father had always been, she nodded, wiping at her tears. Part of life was accepting life's circumstances as they were. Her father had taught her that. Now, he was gone and no amount of tears would ever bring him back. Her people had suffered a great loss: many of them had been taken, and there were many more families were grieving just as she was. 

The strange thing was her people now looked to her as their leader. Like it or not, she was the one who would help guide them toward healing. Suddenly, she felt decades older. Charin seemed to read her thoughts and put a hand on Teyla's shoulder. 

"One can be strong, even as they weep." 

She handed Teyla a carved necklace made from petrified wymakus wood. Its design used intricate sections of carved stone to give the impression of intercrossing lengths of wood, representing man's balance with nature. She recognized the necklace and there was something soothing in hearing Charin tell its history again. 

"This was my grandmother's and her grandmother's before her. It is a symbol of life's cycles. When it first started, the wood was but a willow blowing in the breeze, then it grew tall and strong in its prime, but it was not done yet. Eons ago, long before there were Wraith, long before the Ancestors graced our worlds, this piece of wood became stone. This necklace reminds me of the tenacity of life, because from great adversity comes great strength. You will emerge from this loss stronger, just as the wood that became stone in this necklace did. It is rumored this ancient wood stone can strengthen the soul, soften anger, instill wisdom, and ease grief. I do not know that all of that is true, but it is my gift to you. Wear it and let it bring you the same degree of comfort it has always given me."

Teyla held out the necklace before her, preparing to hand it back to her. "Are you sure, Charin? I know this means a great deal to you."

Charin shook her head and placed her hands over Teyla's. "I know you will take care of it. Please wear it for me."

Teyla slipped the necklace around her neck and looked up at Charin with renewed tears. 

"Thank you," she whispered and wrapped her arms around the older woman. "I do not know what I would do without you."

"You would survive. It is what our people do. Now, the future is upon us, and we must move ahead, even when it feels like we are not ready, for we have no choice to do otherwise. Just remember you are not alone. You are never alone as long as you surround your heart with those who love you."

She nodded, closing her eyes, feeling Charin's arms around her again. She tried to absorb the woman's wisdom and strength to make it her own, but finally she gave up and just let the older woman hold her.

**oOoOoOoOo**

Charin's firm embrace faded away, but instead of opening her eyes to see Charin, there was another woman beside Teyla, one just as aged as Charin had been when she died, but not nearly as beautiful. Oxalda – that was the name the others had called her – had missing teeth, her hair tied back in a severe bun, and her clothes were in tatters, but there was a light in the woman's gaze that captured Teyla's attention. It reminded her of Charin.   
  
Teyla felt an ache of absence for Charin that made her breath catch. It had been almost two years since her death, nearly time for Charin's memorial tea ceremony. She had already decided she would do the ceremony alone, not wanting to burden any of her fellow Athosians with her strange resurgence of grief. Perhaps if she found peace within herself, she could once again linger with the wonderful memories she had of Charin and Carson, instead of being buried a heavy sense of loss. 

She heard a noise that drew her back to look at the old woman in front of her. Oxalda was in a bad way, her breath coming in rapid gasps. Teyla did what she could, but she had no medical supplies beyond simple bandages, nor the luxury of time to look for any. The mortar fire that had ambushed the team shortly after their arrival to the village on M2X-309 or Andonda as it was called by the natives was still flying, sometimes coming frighteningly close to their position. 

The mission had started so simply. They were on a return visit to this village to barter for more of the milled grain the bakers on Atlantis used to make an excellent bread. Right after their arrival, the attack began. It took Teyla's team a few minutes to figure out who was behind it and why. 

During that time of confusion, Teyla had been separated from her teammates. She was trying to evacuate Oxalda, along with a few others, from the battlefront when a mortar shell strayed too close. Out of the five of them, only she and the old woman still lived, but the old woman's lifeblood was rapidly seeping away despite the pressure Teyla was applying to her chest wound.

"You – you remind me of my granddaughter," the old woman rasped. 

"Try to be still, Oxalda," Teyla said breathlessly, her own injuries making it difficult for her to maintain the even pressure on the old woman's wound. "You are badly hurt."

"No, I must – " Oxalda said as she tried to struggle. "Time is short...so many things I need to tell my granddaughter."

Teyla put her free hand on Oxalda's shoulder. "If she loves you, she will already know the important things, but do not give up hope. You will survive."

The old woman pushed away her hand and pulled on a necklace she wore. The soft cord it was tied with gave way easily enough, then Oxalda pushed it into Teyla's hand. "Give her this amulet and tell her it will protect her in times of trouble –" Oxalda's voice broke off as she grimaced in pain.

"Shush, Oxalda, you will be able to tell her in person when you are reunited."

Oxalda shook her head. "No, I am dying. We both know it. Just give Mistyl, my granddaughter, the amulet and tell her I love her -- " she stopped speaking, gasping in a long drawn out wheeze, then her head dipped down. 

When Teyla raised it to look into the eyes that reminded her so much of Charin, she saw only the unseeing gaze of death staring back at her. She glanced at the finely worked copper-like metal in her hand, and she could not help but think of the necklace Charin had given her. Grief swept over her, not for Oxalda, but for Charin. 

She felt someone shaking her shoulder and she realized she was now lying on the ground. She must have collapsed. Looking up, she saw Ronon was beside her. "Teyla?" he asked, his expression scrunched up in worry.

"How is she?" John asked as he came running with Rodney right behind him.

Ronon shook his head. "I don't know. There's a lot of blood, but some of it could be from the old woman."

Teyla blinked her eyes, trying to catch up. "I must find Mistyl – "

John shook his head. "You aren't going anywhere but the infirmary. What the hell is taking Lorne and his men so damned long?"

He paused, touching his radio. "Lorne, it's about time. Do you have us on your screen?"

Teyla winced and pressed her hand against her side as she lifted her head to look around. There were so many people rushing around them, calling for missing loved ones. Rodney was helping some of them, then Teyla heard one name shouted in anguish, "Grandmother!"

Ronon put a hand to Teyla's shoulder when she started to rise. "Stay put."

Her hand went to her side and she struggled to breathe. Ronon glanced over at John. "Teyla's bleeding from her surgical incision."

John cursed and said, "I need a jumper with Keller here ASAP. We've got injured. Alert the doc that Teyla is one of them."

Teyla shook her head, but stopped when she saw a young woman drop to her knees beside Oxalda, weeping. Teyla started to rise, but her injury and Ronon kept her from moving very far. "Please," Teyla whispered to Ronon.

She looked to the young woman and raised her voice, "Mistyl?"

The young blonde looked up through her tears. Teyla reached forward. "She said she loved you and to give you this – "

She moved to hand Mistyl the amulet, but flinched as a stabbing pain came with the motion. She kept her hand extended. "She wanted you to have this and to remember she loved you."

Mistyl took the necklace and began to weep again, this time without restraint. Mistyl's sobs connected with Teyla on so many levels, tears began to trail down her own cheeks. Teyla let her head drop back to the ground, her energy waning with the rising pain in her side. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, then everything went out of focus and she was left with only a pronounced sense of loss to usher her into unconsciousness.

**oOoOoOoOo**

Teyla heard her name called as she fought to awaken. Someone held her arms in place, and she struggled against their hold. 

"Teyla, you're okay. Just wake up." There was a pause, then he said, "Maybe she hit her head harder than I thought – "

"Wait, let go of her, Sheppard. It looks like she's finally coming around."

Teyla opened her eyes to see John in front of her. She blinked for a moment, then saw Ronon beside him sitting in the pilot's seat. She straightened, her hand automatically protecting her side as she started to sit up, then Rodney's head popped into sight behind Ronon.

"Move slow," John warned as he backed away a bit to give her some distance. 

She blinked again, and noticed Ronon had a splint on his broken arm and it was wrapped in a sling that went around his neck. Just how long had she been asleep? She brought her hand to her neck to rub away the stiffness caused by the odd angle in which she'd been sleeping. 

John leaned closer again, trying to catch her eye. "How are you feeling?"

Teyla shook her head. "I am sorry, I must have been dreaming."

John pursed his lips together, then he began to speak in that slow drawl he used in negotiations. "I didn't ask what you were doing. I asked how you were feeling. And you weren't dreaming, it looked like you were having a nightmare. You mentioned that old woman's name, Oxalda, more than once. That's why we woke you up. We were afraid you'd aggravate your injury if you didn't stop."

Rodney cleared his throat. When she raised her head, she could see Rodney had one of the access panels behind the pilot's seat open before he glanced over at her. "We've already had more than enough harrowing experiences for the day. My blood pressure can't take much more, so please stop scaring Sheppard and Ronon." 

She noticed how pale and taut Rodney looked. The dirt smears on his skin just made his pallor stand out more. There were some things even the most ardent hypochondriac couldn't conjure up. Like Rodney had said, they'd all been through a lot. 

She took a deep breath. "We need to focus on more important things such as escaping from this sinkhole."

She felt John's silent assessment of her condition. Finally, he looked over at Ronon, then said, "We were just talking about that very thing. Too damned much rubble to deal with at the moment. You just keep resting." 

Teyla rubbed her forehead, then looked up at him. "I take it you were not able to contact Atlantis?"

John shook his head. Teyla let out a long breath and said, "It will take all of our resources working together to get us out of this place. Give me a moment and I will see what I can do to help."

John put up a hand. "Hold on. The best way you can help all of us is to take it easy. The gate should have been up and running an hour ago and we still haven't made contact which means the communications array was damaged in the fall or it's buried too deep. The end result is the same. No signal is going out until it's fixed or cleared. Rodney's looking into it. Even if we can't get it working, it's only a matter of time until Atlantis sends help. We just have to hold out until then. I don't need you or anyone else pushing themselves too hard when there's no real reason to."

Teyla couldn't argue with his logic. After a long moment, she nodded in reluctant agreement. John flashed her a smile. "See, that wasn't so hard. I'm going to go back up top. It's slow, but I think I'm making some progress clearing the communications array."

He glanced at Rodney. "Radio me when you're ready to activate the system again."

Rodney nodded as John left, his attention focused on the communications subsystems. Ronon looked at Teyla. "Looks like we're not needed at the moment."

She sighed, then turned her attention on him. "How is your arm?"

Ronon glanced down at it. "It'll heal – but this is a bad time to be left one handed. I need to help Sheppard."

Teyla shook her head. "John is right. It is only a matter of time before help arrives. Until then, we have food, water, and sufficient shelter. We will be fine."

"Well, my foot is killing me in case anyone cares..." Rodney said, sounding as pitiful as he could. 

Teyla smiled and looked over at him. "I am sure it is, Rodney. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"No, Sheppard said you need to rest and you do. Besides, there's not enough room here for more than one person to work on this access panel – even if you did know the incredibly complex process I'm using to jury-rig power to the – "

Ronon grunted, then took on a sarcastic tone as he growled, "Right, McKay, we get it – "

Teyla raised a hand to silence Ronon as she said, "We appreciate the pain you are enduring in order to get us home sooner."

Ronon let out a breath, then nodded his head. "Yeah, she's right. We do."

Rodney made some noises that sounded appreciative, at least as far as Rodney made noises like that. Ronon sat back and closed his eyes, finally taking a moment of rest for himself. She sat there for a long while, just watching Ronon catnap and Rodney work. Of course, Rodney grumbled about his foot, the control panel that wasn't cooperating and life in general while he worked and she found there was comfort in having some degree of normalcy in the midst of disaster. Now, if they could only escape.

**oOoOoOoOo**

An hour had passed with John and Rodney at work on the communications problem without success. Rodney growled, "Blasted things aren't working when everything says they're should! And, yes, in case you were wondering, my foot still hurts like hell." 

Teyla shifted in her seat, her own pain becoming harder to ignore. She had stiffened up from sitting so long in one place. She needed to move, so she stood, saying, "I think I will go out to see how John is doing."

Ronon nodded in agreement, then stood as he said, "I'll go with you. McKay's driving me crazy."

Teyla swiveled in his direction, an evil smile twisting the corners of her mouth upward. "Ronon, you say that as if it is a new discovery."

Ronon chuckled. "It isn't."

Rodney's head popped up. "Hey! I heard that!"

"You were supposed to, Rodney," she said.

Rodney held out a tool he was working on. "You know, Teyla, I remember when you were a sweet polite person. I think Ronon and Sheppard have turned you to the dark side."

Her evil grin broadened in reply as she walked out of the jumper.

"How are you doing, John?" she asked once she moved far enough away from the side of the jumper to see John. "Would you like some water?"

John shook his head. "Got some."

He swiveled the shovel in his hand, then reached down to pull his canteen from his discarded tac vest. He had worked up quite a sweat. He rubbed his face with the bottom of his t-shirt, spreading mud rather than removing it, and seemed very irritated. "The damned thing should be working."

"Rodney is saying the same thing, too. Do you require additional assistance?"

He frowned, then shook his head as Ronon joined them. "Not if it's coming from either one of you, so don't even think about offering it."

Teyla brushed back a stray lock of hair and stepped forward. "Perhaps, there is something I can do to help while you are busy, such as seeing if there is another way out of here other than flying out with the jumper?"

John's frown deepened as his gaze skimmed the edges of the sinkhole sixty feet above them. "I don't like that idea much..." he started. 

He stuck the shovel into some of the rubble, leaving it upright as he knelt at the edge of the jumper, looking down at her. "Listen, this sinkhole hasn't stopped growing. Look over there, whole trees are still crashing down its edges, along with all kinds of plants and tons of dirt. It might get to a point where the edges really let go and the sinkhole collapses in on itself. When that happens, things won't be very fun at all."

Teyla maintained their eye contact. "Then I shall get my best assessment of our situation while you work here."

John's expression darkened and Ronon stepped to her side. "I'll go with her."

John seemed to bristle at the thought, making Teyla move closer to the side of the jumper. "I will not do any climbing, John, only a quick survey of our overall situation."

"You know it would be valuable intel, Sheppard," Ronon said, using almost the same tone he took with Rodney when he was being obstinate.

Obviously not happy with her request, John rolled his tongue inside his cheek. She was sure he was going to deny her request when he said, "Go ahead, but take it easy. And check in regularly on the radio."

Teyla nodded, then looked at Ronon before she headed off.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	4. Chapter 4

John stirred the campfire, and then moved back to recline against his backpack again.

"Okay, Teyla, you start. What did you have as your best pet ever?"

They were camped out just outside the jumper's rear hatch, which was still open, providing them with additional illumination. Teyla and Ronon's trip around the sinkhole had proved to be futile. There was no miraculous bridge to the surface, no hidden route for escape to be found, only lots of dirt, mud, uprooted trees and brush, and rock, though she did find a wealth of medicinal herbs, plants and roots.

The flickering campfire and amiable company was comforting, Teyla thought, as she took another bite of her dinner. She never relished the MREs in the same way that Rodney did, but it felt good to get some food into her system. As she glanced around the campfire, she watched her friends, marveling at the strange way fate had brought them together – four people so entirely different from each other, yet meshed together by happenstance and luck into something indivisible. 

"Best pet ever?" Teyla smiled. "A tarksmer."

Ronon's eyes bulged a bit. "Really? A tarksmer? How old were you?"

Teyla noticed the questioning expressions of John and Rodney, but ignored them as she answered Ronon. "I was twelve. I found it in the woods at the end of our annual survival training. It was wounded and old, but we formed a wary relationship. My father wouldn't let me bring it into the village so I took it something to eat every morning while it healed."

Ronon shook his head. "You were lucky it didn't eat you."

Teyla shrugged as she set her dinner down on the ground. Rodney glanced up at her. "Aren't you going to finish that?"

She shook her head and he picked it up with all the fervor of a starving man.

John turned to Ronon. "What's a tarksmer?"

Ronon glanced at Teyla with newfound respect. "A tarksmer resembles the tigers you have on Earth, only it's more serpentine than feline and has a deadly stinger."

Rodney took a bite of Teyla's dinner, and then spoke around the food in his mouth. "Geez, Teyla, you don't do anything easy, do you?"

Teyla smiled. "I never let my guard down around him and I think he respected me. He was a worthy ally. What was your best pet, John?"

"The pet I grew up with was a dog. Golden retriever. We were inseparable. But my best wild pet would have to be..." John chuckled before turning sheepish. 

Teyla noticed. "What is it, John?"

John shook his head, avoiding meeting Teyla's gaze. "Never mind, you'll only laugh."

"Please, John, I promise I will not laugh. What was it?"

"Well, I don't have any stories about pets as fearsome as a tarksmer..." He chuckled again, and then said, "It was just a tree squirrel."

Rodney almost choked on his food before laughing. "That's appropriate – must have been a perfect match since you were probably born already nuts."

John made a face at Rodney. "Ha-ha-ha. It was before I had Boomer, my dog. There was a park down the street that was on my way to and from school. This damned squirrel would wait for me every day when I came by. I fed him peanuts and he entertained me."

"Entertained? Like how?" Rodney asked.

John looked a little uncomfortable. "Well, you know, with tree squirrel type antics. It's something you had to see to appreciate. He was really very funny." 

Teyla leaned forward. "What is a tree squirrel?"

"It's a rodent with a long fluffy tail," Rodney said with a smirk, still chuckling.

John put out a hand. "Ah, come on, McKay, you'd have to agree that they are cute."

Rodney waffled. "Only from a distance. Those kind of things are carriers of disease."

John started to argue, but stopped instead and stared at him. "I suppose you had a pet cheetah."

Rodney grunted. "Not hardly. I had a bulldog, but it ran away when I was nine. Jeannie said I wasn't paying enough attention to him, but I just think he didn't like me very much. We did have exotic fish, though. I could sit and watch them for hours. I named every one of them after famous scientists. Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus, there were several of them, but my favorite was a puffer fish named Newton. I do well with fish because you don't have to do anything with them, besides feed them. They just are. Kinda like cats. They can take care of themselves, too. My father was highly allergic to cat dander, so I didn't get one until I moved out on my own." 

John smirked, "What about Sam, the whale? Or did you classify him as another one of your exotic fish?"

Rodney shrugged. "I thought we were talking about pets we had as kids, otherwise Sam would win for best wild pet. Remember, Sam saved my life."

John rubbed his hand over his face in irritation. "Sam was not your pet – he was more like a good Samaritan."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, it's all a matter of interpretation. Besides, who let you make up the rules for this little discussion anyway?" 

He folded his arms in front of him and turned to Ronon. "I bet you had some type of seven-foot tall souped-up attack dog that slept at the foot of your bed."

Ronon smirked and shook his head. "My mother had a royal blue gashnita bird. They were very rare on Sateda."

Rodney's eyes widened with interest. "Okay, so it was some type of souped-up attack bird then, huh? Razor sharp talons that could rip out a man's throat in the blink of an eye? A super dangerous harpy with a deadly attitude?"

Ronon only smiled and shook his head. "It was just a bird that sang, but it had the most beautiful birdsong. I remember waking to its singing every morning."

Rodney sat back. "Huh. Who would have imagined that?" 

Teyla put her hand into her jacket pocket and found her necklace, the gift she'd received from Charin so long ago, safely tucked away there. She had almost forgotten she'd brought it along. It just seemed right to have something of Charin with her as she mentally prepared herself for the memorial tea ceremony. 

She looked into the heart of the campfire and said, "Athosian legends tell of wild animals who have a connection to a spiritual world we know practically nothing of. They just sense things on a level most people never know. My people also believe humans can bond with the land, gaining strength and wisdom from nature's timeless presence."

"Well, if it means I have to bond with a snake tiger with a deadly stinger, I think I'll pass on the spiritual world, thank you very much," Rodney said as he sat down Teyla's empty dinner tray and settled a little more to get comfortable. "And after spending the better part of a day hanging out in the aftermath of one of Mother Nature's rampages, I'll pass on bonding with the land, too."

Rodney was grumbling, but at least he hadn't complained about his foot in over an hour. On second thought, he was probably just too tired to complain any more. Even as she watched him, his eyes kept drifting shut. The same thing was happening with Ronon. 

She glanced over at John sitting next to her. He was watching the fire with a glazed expression, his mind seeming to be in another place...or perhaps another time. John was always so mysterious, keeping most of the world at arm's length. When he caught her watching him, he straightened, almost as if he'd been embarrassed about letting his attention wander, and then he noticed Rodney and Ronon had drifted off to sleep, so he relaxed a bit.

"Thinking again of your tree squirrel?" she asked with a smile.

John returned the smile, but shook his head. In a quiet tone, he said, "Nah, just thinking how lucky we were today."

Teyla nodded and she settled against her backpack a little more comfortably. "We were indeed."

John nodded, his gaze again distracted by the fire, as if there were answers hidden in the dancing flames, if only he could concentrate on them long enough. She thought he had drifted off to sleep just as Ronon and Rodney had done when he spoke again. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer it unless you want to."

Teyla paused, considering his request, then asked, "What is it?"

"Why was it so important for you to come back to Athos now?"

She glanced at him and then the fire, looking for some answers of her own. She scratched at the back of her neck and sighed. "I came seeking...healing."

"Healing?" he asked as he turned to face her more fully, his voice still low so as to not to awaken the others. "What kind of healing?"

She felt her gaze become distant as she played with the necklace in her pocket again, her fingers tracing along its craggy stone surface. "The kind only this place – this land – can give me."

She cleared her throat. "My people believe one can draw upon nature's strengths to restore and refresh a tired soul." She glanced at the fire, staring deep into its flames. "I feel very tired."

She went quiet for a few moments, and when she spoke, it was in a much softer tone. "And...maybe to help find something inside myself that I've lost along the way between Athos and Atlantis."

John tilted his head slightly, gazing at her from a different angle. "What was that?"

She looked at him, wondering how she could explain what she was feeling, or if it was even possible, but then decided to try. "Do you remember Charin? You met her a few times."

"Yeah, sure. She was kind of like a grandmother to you. Nice lady." 

Teyla nodded. "She gave me so much of herself in ways I never realized until she was gone." She had to stop speaking when her voice broke with emotion. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm down. "What I am struggling with is related to the upcoming second anniversary of Charin's death. But it is that and something more – it feels tied to Carson – and my father and – "

She sighed again. "When I tell you I do not know exactly what I have lost along the way, it is true, but I am sure I will know it when I find it again."

He didn't seem to question the vagueness of her reply. He merely nodded, and returned to watching the fire again, then changed the subject. "Too bad you and Ronon didn't find anything during your scouting trip earlier. An escalator to the surface would have been real nice."

Teyla's lips quirked up with his comment. She had been on an escalator in a huge shopping mall on her last visit to Earth and thought it was a very odd device. "It was not a complete waste. I found some macca root, along with several other types of herbs, plants, and roots in the upheaval of the sinkhole collapse. After we return to the surface, I would like to come back with a few of my people and harvest what we can. There would be a very plentiful supply in our stores afterward."

"Sure, that sounds doable," John said, not sounding really interested in herbs or roots. 

He rubbed his neck. She might have thought he'd been lulled into sleepiness by food, company, and the fire, but she would have been mistaken. Everything about John spoke of an awareness – although it was a relaxed one at the moment – but an awareness that involved watching over his people. She knew it wouldn't change until they were back at Atlantis and out of danger. 

He sat up and poked at the fire again as if it were the sum of his frustrations, then said, "Well, trying to clear off the top of the jumper was a lost cause. The more I shoveled it away, the more fell down to replace it. At least, the communications array was still intact, so that means it's the minerals in the dirt and rock, and our depth underground that's preventing our signal from going out."

She took a deep breath. "Atlantis will dial in when we don't come back on schedule." 

John cringed a little and said, "Actually, I told them we might be late." 

When she looked at him, he said, "I wanted to give you all the time you needed to do what you came for. And I knew we'd also be in your way, so I factored in a little more time for that. Sorry."

Teyla shook her head, thinking about the simple trip to Athos she'd planned to meditate and reflect on Carson, Charin, and others that she had lost. It seemed like days ago, weeks ago even, after everything that they'd been through. And meditation was the last thing on her mind now. She straightened her shoulders. "It does not matter. They will send someone sooner or later."

All of them were wearing their jackets and tac vests to add another layer of warmth, because of the cold night and dampness of the sinkhole, except Ronon. He rarely wore a flak jacket. Instead, he just wore his regular clothes and a heavy hide-skin coat. 

John scratched at the collar of his jacket. "Sooner would be better. I really need a shower. I've got dirt in places I'd rather not think about."

She nodded in sympathy. "As do we all."

She smiled, giving him a long sideways glance. "Your unique hairstyle has grown even more... distinctive."

John grunted. "Yeah, well, I'd say we've all looked better – or at least cleaner – than we do right now."

Teyla yawned so broadly she had to put a hand to her side to keep it from pulling. Before she knew it, she was yawning again. John glanced over at her with a tired smile. "Get some sleep. I'll take first watch."

She turned to look at him more closely. "First watch? Is there a need for someone to be on guard?"

John shrugged. "We can't be the only animals caught in this sinkhole. Better to play it safe."

After a moment, she nodded in appreciation, although she and Ronon hadn't seen any sign of problems during their survey. "Wake me next. The others are injured and need their rest."

"Sure," he answered, though she suspected he would let her sleep, too.

She closed her eyes and was drifting off to sleep when the ground beneath her began to shake. She sat up, seeing John was already on his feet. Ronon awoke almost immediately with Rodney a few seconds later. 

The rumbling sound grew and Teyla suspected the collapsing cave system was continuing to erode, causing the sinkhole to take another growing spurt. She glanced to John who met her gaze with equal apprehension. Apparently, they weren't out of danger yet.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	5. Chapter 5

John crossed their campsite while the ground was still shaking. There was debris raining down on them from the top of the sinkhole, so he moved to help Rodney get clear of the worst of it by the time Teyla and Ronon were on their feet. They all met near some fallen tree trunks on the far side of the campsite just as the shaking of the ground stopped. 

John stepped away from Rodney and let out a long breath. Looking a little bewildered, he said, "Well... that was interesting."

For someone who'd been dead asleep moments before, Rodney was moving like a speed demon in overdrive. He threw his hands up in the air and limped first one way and then another. "Interesting? Interesting? Holy shit! This place is more unstable than my Great Aunt Hilda!"

Rodney did his best to pace, even with his injured foot, until he stepped the wrong way and nearly lost his balance. Teyla was closest to him and she was able to steady him until he was upright again. 

"Rodney, you must be careful," she said in her calmest tone. "We are all okay. There is no reason to panic."

"Who's panicking? I'm just stating fact. We are all so very screwed if this sinkhole implodes on us, which is very possible given its previously mentioned unstable nature! Atlantis better come looking for us ASAP!"

Ronon bopped his hand against the back of Rodney's head, stunning Rodney into silence, at least for a moment. "McKay, Atlantis isn't even expecting us for another day – "

Rodney's worry machine lunged into top speed. "Damn it, that's right! Sheppard and his 'let's give Teyla lots of time and space' speech! Oh yeah, that's just wonderful!"

John walked closer, putting his hands out in a placating manner. "Yes, Rodney, we're on our own, but that's okay, because we've been on our own many times before and survived. We can do this – we just need to do it calmly. If I had a shot of whiskey, I'd pour it down your throat, but I don't, so you'll just have to take a few deep breaths."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure, just calm down. Easy for you to say. You weren't nearly – "

Rodney was still talking, but Teyla wasn't listening to him anymore; she was watching Ronon. The Satedan's whole focus had shifted away from Rodney and into the dark shadowy areas surrounding them. Whatever he was watching was worrisome enough for him to draw his weapon. 

John noticed the change in Ronon, too, and stepped in his direction, his hand on the grip of his nine-mil. "What is it?" he asked quietly.

Even Rodney went silent, alarmed by the change in Ronon's behavior. Ronon kept his gaze sweeping the area as he answered, "I think we've got company out there." 

John glanced around, too, as he moved around the outer perimeter of the campfire, looking deep into the shadows. He must have also sensed something because he said, "Everybody, fall back to the jumper."

Rodney started to move, then hissed, holding his leg. Teyla put Rodney's arm over her shoulder to help move him faster. She didn't bother to look back, trusting John and Ronon to protect them as she got Rodney to safer ground. When she let go of him, Rodney's eyes were wide with alarm, but to his credit, he kept quiet. He drew his gun and held it in nervous hands.

Pulling her own weapon, she stepped back toward the campfire. The furthest away from the jumper, John still hadn't moved, making her tense as she whispered, "John, what do you hear?"

John shook his head. In lieu of an answer, he held up a finger for silence. A long moment passed and he remained motionless, except to cock his head to one side. The howl that rang out in the darkness startled all of them with its shrill keening whine. It was quickly followed by another, and then another. Teyla's thoughts flashed back several years; terrible, agonizing memories flooded her mind until she pushed them away. 

It had to be the skree, a large wolf-like creature with poisoned fangs, but it was much too soon for them to come out of hibernation. Perhaps the heavy storms or the rumbling of the sinkhole had disturbed them. Whatever the reason, their situation had just grown more precarious, mostly because the skree traveled in packs. 

John glanced over at her. "What the hell was that, Teyla?"

She looked around, releasing the safety on her gun. "The skree. Be careful – "

The attack began without warning. Ronon's weapon fired a couple of times in rapid succession, but Teyla had no time to see what he was dealing with, because three of the silver-coated skree sprang from the shadows, each heading straight for John. John hit the first one with a single shot, though its momentum knocked into him before he could move away. Teyla shot the second one, but the skree were known for their lightening-like speed if nothing else and the remaining one leapt out of sight. 

A flash of red went over her head. She heard Ronon cursing. By the time, she spun around, Ronon had lost his weapon and he was on his knees on the ground, fending off a skree with his knife. 

Things were happening almost too quickly to keep track of. Rodney let out a surprised yelp behind her and fired his handgun several times. There was some noise in the nearby brush and she caught a glimpse of the wild yellow-eyed gleam of another skree flying through the air toward her. She fired and ducked, and then rolled away. The skree dropped to the ground, dead. There were still many more out there, but there was no way to know just how many traveled in this pack. They'd been known to have as many as thirty in a single pack.

A high-pitched howl came from Ronon's direction, and then there was silence as Ronon pulled his knife from the heart of a skree and scrambled for his blaster. He held his broken arm close to him, but he seemed to be moving okay. She turned back toward John just as John pulled himself out from under the skree he'd shot. He was still the one furthest away from the campfire and the jumper.

"John, fall back to the jumper," she said, reminding him of his own words as she waved him over, gripping her gun more tightly. 

He nodded, but moved stiffly as he got to his feet, which made sense. The skree average weight was over seventy pounds, but larger skree were known to reach a hundred pounds. Getting hit with that kind of dead weight had to hurt. 

She glanced to Ronon, standing several feet away and motioned to him. "You, too, Ronon. It is safer in the light. The skree tend to shy away from bright lights."

John was just starting back toward them when another skree sprang from the nearby shadows. Teyla cursed, because it was headed straight for John. She knew the beast was traveling too rapidly for an accurate shot, but she fired anyway. John grunted as the skree hit him full on in the chest and they both went down. 

Now, the irritating echo effect inside the sinkhole didn't just disorient Teyla, but it served to haunt her, especially with the skree's growls and John's breathless grunts. Worse, she knew all too well what the bite of the skree could do to a human if they weren't killed outright in the initial attack.

John lost his weapon when he rolled over in the mud with the beast. Ronon shot once at the skree, but then hesitated, because John and the skree were rolling back and forth much too quickly for an accurate shot. John screamed as the skree's jaws clamped down his right shoulder. 

Teyla ran a few paces until she was close enough to press the muzzle of her gun against the side of the skree's skull, and then fired again. Not taking any chances, Teyla fired one last time as it lay on the ground. The beast was now dead, but the damage was already done; it had bitten John.

A piercing howl behind her was joined by more further away. There were several other skree still out there, though they had retreated for the moment. Ronon fired his blaster in an attempt to chase them away, but stopped and spun around, alarmed by the sound of a P90 on an extended burst. 

"Get away from here, you hell hounds!" Rodney shouted as he limped as fast as he could toward the departing predators, providing Ronon with backup. Ronon gave him a nod, and then took off after the skree. Rodney, with a wild look to his eyes, followed the Satedan into the shadows. 

Teyla pulled her gaze away from them and back to John. John shook visibly, groaning as she dropped to her knees at his side. One of his hands was pressed against his bloody shoulder, the other against his ribs. 

"Son of a bitch!" John cursed angrily. He blinked and tried to get up, but failed. He craned his head around as he said, "Watch for – watch for signs of another attack! Damn it!"

"Stay down, John," she whispered as she put a hand to his chest.

She could practically feel the adrenaline pumping through his system as he shook his head and waved her away. He hadn't stopped squirming on the ground. At times, he arched up, but his hand always stayed clasped over his wound. "No, h-help Ronon. Shit, th-they were so d-damned fast..."

Teyla forced calmness into her voice and leaned closer. "Ronon can handle the situation. Rodney is with him. Please, move your hand away so that I can see how bad the injury is." 

When he complied, she took out her knife and deftly cut open the fabric from his t-shirt and jacket. "Hey, th-that's my favorite jacket!" he groused, but he was in too much pain to make it a convincing complaint.

Biting her lip, she looked at the wound. It looked like John had taken a full dose of poison from the skree's fangs, judging by the discoloration of the bite. She cringed, knowing one bite, if left untreated, could kill. She sighed and glanced down at John.

"What's it look like?" he whispered to her, his slightly unfocused gaze darting up to meet hers. It was apparent his energy level was waning, though he still rocked from the pain.   
  
"Just be still if you can," she said, then stopped to stare at the mud beneath him.

Dipping her fingers into the mud, she felt for its consistency, testing to see if it had the right graininess, the proper color, and then sniffed at it. It might work. Looking back to John, she sighed and said quietly, "You will not like this, but it must be done. Brace yourself."

She scooped up a handful of the mud and covered the wound, pushing it into the damaged tissue. John grimaced in surprise, then groaned loudly. When he could speak again, he rasped through gritted teeth, "Damn it, you – you c-could warn a p-person."

"I did. Time is of the essence," she said and put another layer of mud over the wound. "I apologize, but I must stop this poison from spreading into your system. The mud will bind with the poison still there and slow it down."

John's whole body shook by then, but apparently one word had gotten through his fleeting attention, because he stopped rocking as much as he could and asked, "P-Poison?"

She nodded as she tended to him. "Yes, the skree inject poison through hollow fangs to incapacitate and kill their victim. The skree are a hibernating species, I do not understand why they are awake now." Her breath caught. "The collapsing sinkhole must have affected the caves the skree inhabit during the winter months."

"Great," he whispered, taking in great gasps of air just to breathe. 

"How is he?" Rodney shouted as he limped back, leaning heavily on Ronon for balance.

Teyla turned to face them. "He has taken a full bite from one of the skree. We must work quickly."

John raised his head and looked around. "Keep your – your eyes open for them. Th-they could attack again."

Teyla nodded. "John is correct, they can double back on us without warning, but Ronon can keep guard. Rodney, you must go ahead to the jumper and make ready for us. Get out the first aid kit, water, and blankets. We will be along in a moment."

Rodney handed Ronon the P90 and took off for the jumper, limping along as fast as his injured foot would allow. Teyla brushed the back of her hand against her forehead to push away the hair falling into her eyes, and looked down at John, and then at her watch. "We need to get you to Dr. Keller. The bite of the skree is usually fatal after twelve hours without treatment."

"Not g-going anywhere with – with that debris covering the jumper," John stammered as he fought to keep from shaking. His head fell back to the ground. "Damn...so c-cold."

Ronon knelt down, handing her Rodney's P90. "Take this – I'll carry him into the jumper."

Shaking her head, she didn't take the weapon. Instead, she said, "You can't with your broken arm."

Rodney called out from the rear of the jumper. "What's taking so long? I've got everything ready in here." 

Teyla wasn't sure what she should do – if John moved too much, the poison would spread beyond his ability to recover – yet, paralysis would set in soon if she did nothing. She had to make a decision, one she hoped wouldn't wind up killing him. 

"Ronon, it will take both of us to carry him over to the jumper. John, you will have to give us as much help as you can." She glanced up at Ronon. "You take one arm and I will take the other, but we must hurry. Time is critical now."

Ronon growled in frustration, spinning back toward the last sighting of the skree and fired off a long burst from the P90 before he slung the weapon over his shoulder and bent down to help.

"Easy, b-big guy," John said, his teeth chattering so much it was hard to understand him. "Sp-spare the ammo f-for the kill sh-shots."

Teyla put an arm around John's back to help him stand. Ronon practically lifted John on his own, despite his own injuries. The movement was so sudden, John cried out as injured areas reacted. Teyla put a hand to John's chest and glanced up at Ronon. "I am sorry, John, but we must move quickly."

It wasn't easy. John's legs barely had any strength to them, but the two of them managed to haul him inside the jumper before the skree gathered to attack again. They lowered him to the deck, the trip to the jumper obviously exhausting the injured man.

"Oh, God," Rodney whispered once he got a good look at John.

Teyla looked up at him, knowing her expression revealed every bit of worry she felt. John's clothes were ripped from the skree's claws and she had no doubt his flesh underneath was equally torn. The Ancestors only knew what damage he would have incurred if he hadn't been wearing his tac vest.

Rodney's gaze darted to John, and then back at her again. "I've got everything ready," he said as he gestured rapidly with one hand.

Ronon slapped an angry fist on the hatch control, breathing hard as the door started closing. He practically threw the P90 on an empty bench seat and moved closer to John. "How is he?"

Teyla didn't think John was still conscious, but he surprised everyone by whispering, "C-cold."

His words pushed Rodney into action. He pulled a blanket from the bench seat beside him and threw it over John, and then he grabbed another and did the same thing again, pausing to tuck John in when he was done. John undid it all as he began to rock in pain again, his body curling around his wounded shoulder. 

Teyla gazed down at John, putting her hand over his wrist. "John, I must remove your tac vest, jacket and shirt to treat the wound."

He nodded, but she wasn't sure if he'd heard her this time. He seemed to be fading fast. She wondered if the poison had infiltrated a vein after she removed his vest and jacket with Rodney's help and stared at the wound. The past blended with the present and she remembered all too well the kind of pain the skree's bite could cause. If only Charin was with them – she would know exactly what to do next. Or Carson. If Carson were there, he'd have the situation completely under control. Her wishful thoughts of Charin and Carson ended when John cried out in pain, clasping her arm for support.

"Ah, crap," Rodney whispered, his gaze lingering on the bite on John's shoulder.

Rodney's skin tone went a little paler, but he helped to hold him down, despite his squeamishness. John groaned when they went to take off his shirt, so Teyla reached into the medical kit for the scissors. "Do not worry, John, we have put you through enough. I will cut the shirt off."

"My b-best shirt," he murmured. 

"Stop whining and let her do what she needs to do," Rodney said in a chiding tone, but compassion overrode the content of his words, and Teyla knew just how worried Rodney was for their friend.

She left the mud pack in place as she cut away his shirt. He had some pretty deep claw marks on his arms, chest and abdomen where the skree's claws got under the tac vest, but she had a feeling there was more severe damage below the skin in the chest and abdomen areas. She ran her hands over his neck and chest to check for broken bones and John practically came off the floor when she pressed against the ribs on his left side. 

"Damn," he whispered in a hissing moan before he dropped back and exhaled deeply.

"I am sorry," she replied with deep remorse. She couldn't feel any broken ribs, but they could be cracked. She would have to check them again later.

He nodded, but didn't waste energy by talking. She covered him up again and leaned back, holding her side as she tried to recover from the effort of moving him. Rodney looked across John's body, his voice wistful as he said, "He's bad, isn't he?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. Her hand unknowingly went down to rub her left thigh, the site where she'd been attacked by a skree. It was only because of Charin's careful treatment that she had survived. Rodney ran a hand through his hair as his gaze darted to the forward section. He smiled and started snapping his fingers. "You know, all that rumbling might have shook the jumper free of some of the debris, allowing us to get away."

She gave him a quick smile. "See what you can find while I tend to John."

Rodney started to get to his feet, but then faltered. Ronon offered him a hand up and Rodney took it gratefully. They stepped around Teyla and John and headed for the cockpit. 

John moaned and she brushed her fingers across his forehead, whispering words of comfort. When he quieted down, she let go of him to clean the bloody claw marks and bandage them. He barely reacted to her touch. She covered him again with the blankets. She rocked back on her heels, putting a hand over her mouth as she tried to keep calm now that the danger had passed and they were relatively safe.

"T-Teyla," she heard John whisper.

She looked down, surprised that he was alert enough to talk, and forced a smile onto her lips. 

"How are you?" she asked softly.

"We'll m-make it home," he said as his eyelids drooped.

She felt a wave of sadness and her thoughts answered him, Yes, but will it happen in time to save your life?

The acceptable stretch of time they had planned on using to wait for help from Atlantis now seemed far too long. She frowned as she stared at the rear hatch, remembering what she had seen on her exploratory trip around the sinkhole with Ronon. She straightened, bringing a hand to rub her neck. "If I had the right components, I could prepare a healing salve that would help draw the poison from the wound." 

She didn't realize she'd said the words aloud until John shook his head. "Don't g-go back out th-there."

"I have to do something, John. The poison is already coursing through your system. I imagine the paralysis is also setting in."

John's gaze darted away and she had her confirmation. 

"Don't d-do it," he implored as his eyes latched onto hers again.

She licked her lips as she looked into the cockpit. "Rodney, are we able to take off?"

Rodney glanced back at her, bitter disappointment burning in his eyes. "No, damn it. It's too dangerous to move this thing without knowing if it will cause the edge of the sinkhole to collapse directly on top of us. Maybe John would know more – "

"John is unable to assist you at the moment, but keep working. Ronon, help him while I gather what I need."

Ronon frowned, not moving from his seat. "Gather what?"

"I saw some of the ingredients for a healing salve while we were out scouting. If I can find them again, I can help John – "

"D-Damn it, T-Teyla, no," John whispered as he struggled to move limp limbs. "T-Too d-dangerous."

Ronon stepped closer. "This salve can save him from the poison?"

She nodded. "Yes, if applied in time."

He pulled out his blaster, checking his ammo. 

"Then let's go." 

"NO!" John said, more emphatically this time.

Ronon stopped, looking up at Teyla in confusion because she wasn't moving. "What are you waiting for? Let's go." 

He grabbed one of the larger flashlights, tossing it to her. She looked down at John and said, "I am sorry, John, but we must go."

Then she retrieved her P90 and followed him to the rear hatch. Ronon paused long enough to look back at Rodney. "Keep an eye on things while we're gone."

Teyla turned and walked back into the rear compartment, seeing Rodney's discarded backpack. "May I use this? I will need it to carry the ingredients I require for the salve," she said, already knowing Rodney's answer. 

Rodney nodded. "Sure," he said quickly, moving to her side. "Just dump out the stuff."

She did as he said, then knelt beside John once again. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "We will not be gone long, John. Do not give up hope."

John shook his head, but didn't say anything. She wondered if the paralysis had started to affect his speech. If so, they didn't have much time at all. Ronon opened the rear hatch and she followed him, waiting for the hatch to open completely. 

She met Rodney's worried gaze for a long moment before she slipped one of the shoulder straps of Rodney's backpack over her arm. She turned and went off into the darkness with Ronon.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	6. Chapter 6

''We were lucky," Teyla said breathlessly to Ronon as she crested a mound of sinkhole debris. "The skree left us alone to do our work."

Ronon grunted. "Probably gorging themselves on the dead bodies of their pack."

She nodded in agreement. She could see the flickering light of their campfire a short distance away. She brushed her hair from her eyes and sighed with relief. Despite the cool night, she was sweating from the pace she'd kept with Ronon and her side ached something fierce, but they'd been fortunate. The plants she'd needed were right where she remembered seeing them. Now, Rodney's backpack was filled to capacity with everything she'd found. 

She could hear some of the skree howling from somewhere within the sinkhole. Again, the echo inside the vast pit was disorienting. She was listening so hard, she jumped when Rodney's voice came over the radio. 

"Teyla, Ronon? Where the hell are you guys? I'm no Dr. Kildare, but even I know when someone's getting worse and Sheppard is doing it by the second!" 

"We are nearly there, Rodney," she said tightly, preparing to resume her pace. 

Instead, Ronon slowed, surprising her as he moved with a little more caution. He turned to her and said, "Remember where Sheppard was when the attack began? He wasn't much further away from the jumper than we are now. Don't relax just because we're close."

Teyla could almost hear Rodney nodding as he said, "He's right, Teyla. Those damned skree have been howling and prancing around the jumper, well, from what little I could see of them from the far right hand corner of the jumper's forward view port. Hold on a sec."

There was a pause, then Rodney was back on the line. "The life signs detector show twelve life signs very near to the jumper. I see two other signs that must be you and Ronon. Yeah, you're close. You better be very careful out there."

Ronon nodded to Teyla and started out, but stopped. "Hold on," Ronon said, putting out a hand to keep her from moving forward. "Look, McKay was right – look at the area beside the campfire."

There were times since Teyla had met Ronon that she wondered if the Satedan had the night vision of an erkan, an Athosian nocturnal predator reminiscent of the black panthers of Earth. Squinting, she focused on the area, and could make out the images of a dozen skree near the jumper viciously devouring the flesh from the dead bodies of their former pack killed in the earlier attack, and those were only the ones she could see.

Teyla blinked a few times as she thought of John. "But we have to get back to the jumper. If we wait too long to apply the salve – "

Ronon licked his lips and nodded, then spoke to Rodney. "Don't worry, McKay, we'll work out a plan. Until then, maintain radio silence. We're getting too close to the pack to risk further radio communication."

He looked over at her with a sudden gleam in his eyes. "You have C4 in your tac vest?"

Teyla put a hand to the vest pocket containing it and looked up at him in concern. "Yes, but a blast might cause more problems with the sinkhole. The debris near the jumper could easily envelop it, burying it completely."

Ronon shook his head. "A small blast shouldn't bring down too much and it'll scare the skree far enough away from the jumper so that we can get inside without fighting our way through."

Teyla sighed. They didn't have much of a choice. She reached into her pocket and pulled it out. She retrieved the detonator. Ronon started to take it from her, then stopped as he frowned. "Damned broken arm. You'll have to do it. Just take a small portion of it – and save the rest in case we need it later."

Teyla nodded. Soon, she had fashioned the explosive into something ready to be used. She started to move forward when Ronon shook his head. "I can run faster than you can, even with a busted arm. Plus, you've got that backpack with the herbs and stuff. I'll detonate the C4. You just come running when it blows. We won't have a lot of time to waste."

Reluctantly, she agreed and Ronon disappeared into the darkness. She crept closer to the jumper without attracting attention. Turning on her radio, she whispered into it, "Rodney, Ronon is going to detonate some C4 near our campfire outside the rear hatch. When you hear the explosion, we need for you to open the hatch and cover our approach into the jumper."

Rodney almost choked on his words. "C4? Holy crap!"

"Rodney, you have to trust us. Just be ready."

"Roger that. You guys just – just be careful, okay?" Rodney said.

Though Teyla braced herself for it, the blast was bigger than she had envisioned. The skree scattered as planned, running off in several different directions. Teyla held her breath for a moment, waiting to see if the explosion would cause the debris atop the jumper to shift, but nothing fell, so she scrambled through the brush and rocks just as Ronon stepped out of the shadows into the campfire area at the rear of the jumper. 

Rodney did as requested, opening the hatch right on cue. Its bright light cut through the black night like a protective beacon. Ronon kept his back to the jumper, scanning the area around them for any sign of attack as Teyla stepped around the half eaten skree carcasses and entered the jumper. She turned back, aiming her P90 into the darkness to cover Ronon's approach.

Rodney was also there at the hatch entrance with his weapon ready, but he moved to one side to allow Ronon to pass between them. Ronon started to close the hatch, but Teyla shook her head. "The salve must be heated over the fire to allow it to simmer and thicken."

Rodney's mouth dropped open, then he made motions as if to begin a protest when Ronon shook his head, silencing him. "We'll stand guard here. Just do what you need to do."

Rodney looked like he was going to erupt into a tirade, but Ronon merely met Rodney's gaze and said, "It's for Sheppard. Do you have a problem with that?"

Rodney's demeanor shifted. He shook his head. "No, of course, I don't." 

Then he looked around. "Can I at least sit while I wait for the killer fanged wolves to begin their next attack?"

Ronon smirked and nodded. Rodney sank onto the seat, adjusting the position of his foot, then sighed. "This so totally sucks."

Teyla agreed, but she didn't waste her time on words. She dumped out the contents of Rodney's backpack on the floor of the jumper, then started opening various compartments behind the bench seats. 

"What are you looking for?" Rodney asked.

Teyla looked through another compartment, but came up empty handed. "I need something to use as a pot to heat the mixture once I put the ingredients together."

Rodney paused for a moment. "Would a metal canteen be big enough? I can cut off the top of one."

Teyla smiled with relief. "Yes, that should be fine."

Rodney dumped the water in his canteen outside the jumper, then got to work hacking the canteen's metal, leaving Ronon alone to stand guard. Teyla began to sort through the herbs and roots. She didn't have all the ingredients, but she prayed she had enough to help John. Rodney handed her the decapitated canteen and she filled it with the roughly chopped portions of the various plants, and then added water. She used the base of her flashlight as a mortar to grind the contents together.

Images of the distant past filled her thoughts. In the weeks following her skree attack, she'd been interested in finding out exactly how Charin had saved her life. Charin had patiently taught her how to make the healing salve and other natural remedies. Now, Teyla prayed she remembered it all correctly. 

When she was done, she looked up at Ronon. "Okay, I am ready for the fire."

Rodney smiled at her as he looked up from John's tac vest. He held up a few small round black objects. "These should help. Flash-bangs. Just be sure to close your eyes and cover your ears when they go off."

Teyla nodded, approaching the open hatchway. Rodney stood awkwardly and limped a few steps down the ramp. "Okay, Teyla, I'm throwing one out. Be ready."

She didn't have to wait long. It went off – even with her hands over her ears and her eyes tightly shut, the noise was deafening. A second later, she rushed out the doorway with her makeshift pot in hand. Ronon went out with her. Almost immediately afterward, a series of howls cut through the night. The skree were out there, frightened, but still around.

She threw a couple more branches on the fire and stirred the embers to bring the fire back to life. Next, she carefully positioned the canteen within the bed of yellow-white glowing coals and began stirring the ingredients with a stick.

"How long will this take?" Ronon asked.

"It must heat to a boil, and then simmer until thickened...perhaps ten or fifteen minutes."

Ronon swallowed and looked around. It was obvious he wasn't happy about them being so exposed, but he didn't say anything about it. Rodney sighed deeply as he stood at the hatch. "Sounds like you're making gravy or pudding... Damn, I'm hungry."

Ronon grunted. "What's new about that? Just stand by with those flash-bangs. We might need to use a couple more before this is done. Then you can think about getting a snack."

Teyla stood and turned. "While that is simmering, I have to prepare the wound for the salve."

Rodney made a face. "Prepare the wound... what the hell does that mean?"

Teyla took a deep breath as she approached him. "It means I will need to clean the mud from the bite area before I can apply the salve. And I could use another set of hands. This will not be easy."

Rodney's expression dropped. He gripped his P90 more tightly, and looked around. "Well, I'll stand guard and Ronon can help you – "

"She said another set of hands, McKay." Ronon raised his broken arm for Rodney's benefit. "I'm down to one good one. It's up to you."

"Ah, crap," Rodney muttered as his shoulders slumped and he followed her in. Ronon was behind him and closed the hatch, prompting a glance from Teyla. 

He caught her gaze and said, "We can sit tight for ten minutes while that stuff cooks. No use in risking ourselves when we don't have to."

Teyla and Rodney knelt beside John and Rodney looked up at Teyla. "You do realize I'll probably throw up all over the two of you the very moment I see blood."

"No, you won't," Ronon said firmly, patting Rodney on the back.

Rodney coughed a little, flinching in pain. He still looked a little nauseated, but he tried for a smile. "No, I guess I won't, at least I hope not, but my appetite just disappeared. No snacks needed here anymore." 

Teyla didn't say anything. She just opened the med kit and pulled out a pre-filled syringe of morphine. Rodney swallowed hard. "Uh, this is going to hurt enough to need that?"

She nodded, her thoughts going back to that time again and she remembered the agony she'd gone through with her own skree bite. Taking a deep breath to pull herself back to the present, she administered the injection. She waited a couple of moments before picking up one of the bottles of water beside her and a towel. 

"John," she said as she brushed back his hair still stiff with mud.

He turned slightly toward her voice and opened his eyes. She placed a finger over his lips. "Do not try to talk. The paralysis will pass soon. I need to clean your wound so that I can apply the healing salve. Without better equipment, this will be painful, but it must be done."

She licked her lips. "I've given you an injection of morphine to help with the pain. Hopefully, it will be enough. Do you understand?" 

He nodded his head so slightly it was barely a movement. 

Rodney's response was more dramatic as he shook his head. "It might be okay for you, Sheppard, but I'm faint of heart and it's gonna be hell for me."

John managed to grunt in response. "Suck – it – up."

Rodney rolled his eyes for John's benefit. "Oh, thank you for that pearl of wisdom. Now, go back to being silent. I liked you a lot better that way."

With a slight movement, John raised a middle finger in his direction. The sight made Rodney laugh and generally lifted the heaviness of the mood in the jumper.

It didn't take too long before the wound was clear of dried mud. There wasn't as much torn flesh as Teyla thought there would be underneath the mud pack. The skin around the injection site itself was still blanched white with a wide swath of red surrounding it. Maybe they were in time, after all. 

She dried her hands on a towel, looking up at Ronon. "We are ready for the salve."

Ronon nodded and turned to activate the hatch controls to go outside. He took a few tentative steps forward with his weapon poised to fire before he nodded to Rodney. A nearby howl made all of them tense. Without waiting to be told, Rodney said, "Brace yourselves," and set off another flash-bang. 

Once they had a moment to recover, Rodney picked up his P90 and stood guard at the exit. Teyla went outside to get the salve while Ronon remained at her side. The flash-bang must have done its job, because the skree didn't approach. 

Teyla was relieved at what she found when she got to the campfire. The salve had thickened as planned. She used a couple of towels as hot pads and took the mixture inside. Rodney and Ronon stood in position until the hatch closed. She transferred the salve to four smaller containers that Rodney had on hand for specimen collection. The mixture cooled quickly and soon she was applying the yellow green goo to John's wound. 

Even medicated, semiconscious and half-paralyzed, John gritted his teeth together and gave a long, low moan, and then he just groaned outright. He bucked and thrashed about as Teyla finished applying the healing salve, frustrating Rodney as he fought to hold him in place. 

"Damn it, Sheppard, just be still!"

Finally, John passed out, giving all of them a respite. Now, he lay unmoving and his stillness unnerved Teyla in a way his groans hadn't done. She covered the bite wound in gauze as best she could. Then, she cleaned and dried her hands. She set the remaining three containers in the medical kit and closed it up. 

If the swelling around the wound didn't go down within three hours, a second application should be done. Sometimes, it took multiple applications to purge all the poison. Even if the treatment was successful, John would be a sick man for the next few days – and that was without factoring in any other injuries he might have. 

She brushed some errant locks of hair from John's face and sighed. He was so pale and his breathing was shallow. He had a chance, if they hadn't wasted too much time gathering and preparing the salve. She picked up one of the bottles of water still on the floor beside her, took a long swig and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, then leaned back to rest. 

Guilt swept over her and she chided herself again. Her search for peace had only resulted in more anguish, not only for her, but also for her friends, and that was the worst part of it. She went to stand, but bent low when her side burned with the movement. Tears welled in her eyes and she sat back on the floor again. When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she jumped, which caused the pain to burn more brightly. 

"Sorry, sorry," Rodney said quickly, holding out his hands in apology. "You just looked like you were in pain. How long has it been since you've thought about your own health?"

With his words of concern, she shook her head. "I am fine, merely sore from exertion." 

Ronon knelt beside her. "Yeah, right. Well, that bullshit might have worked on Sheppard – he believes practically anything you tell him – but we know better. We need to take a closer look at your side. Move up here on the seat."

She was going to argue, after one look at Ronon's determined demeanor, she decided she was too tired to argue with him. Stiffly, she stood and sat down again. Ronon moved beside her. "Let's see what we're dealing with here," Ronon said softly.

She sighed, and unzipped her tac vest and jacket, then lifted the bottom of her shirt. Ronon pulled back the dressing, then frowned at the torn stitches that were still bleeding. 

"That's not good," he said quietly. "Looks like it might be getting infected. McKay, grab the medical kit."

"It will be okay," Teyla said, shaking her head. "I will clean it and put on a fresh bandage."

Ronon got that determined glint in his eyes and said, "Just sit back and relax. It's our turn to play doctor."

Rodney burst out laughing just as he was turning around with the medical kit, and then he blinked a few times as if trying to suppress more laughter. He put out his hands in a dismissive motion when Ronon and Teyla looked at him in confusion. "Never mind, it's not worth explaining."

He took one look at Teyla's wound and sighed deeply as he scratched at his forehead. Teyla thought she heard a slight whimper before he said, "Okay, I don't believe these words are actually coming out of my mouth, Teyla, but how about you let me clean that up for you?" 

Rodney sighed again as he moved to sit at her side. Teyla smiled at him and put a hand on his. "You do not have to do this. I am quite able to clean it myself."

Rodney shook his head. "No, you can't. I may be a self-absorbed son of a bitch, but even I can see that you need help. Ronon's right. It looks like infection might be setting in." 

He reached for the medical kit. "I can't leave you to the clumsiness of our Satedan one-handed friend and John can't help, so you're left with me. I apologize in advance if I hurt you and please don't hurt me in retaliation, because you really know how to hurt a person, especially if you're really pissed off."

She glared at him, but then sighed and nodded. He cleaned the wound as best he could, and then applied a bandage. "You need to have Keller redo some of those stitches – that is if you haven't done more damage underneath."

Rodney touched the skin around the bandage, and then Teyla's arm, before reaching up to put the back of his hand to her forehead. "Hmm, you're a little warm. Better take some more Tylenol...and a dose of antibiotics just to be on the safe side."

He handed her the packets of pills and a water bottle. Teyla had to admit the last few hours had tired her out, as if the bleeding wound alone wasn't enough for her to deal with. She took the medication and leaned back against the wall of the compartment. She peeked open an eye and looked at Rodney.

"You make a very good nurse, Rodney, despite your protests to the contrary."

Rodney grunted. "Yeah, right, well, don't expect to see me ever doing it again. I'll leave medical matters up to Dr. Keller and her minions." 

She touched his arm. "Thank you."

He nodded and shut the medical kit, and then stood. She relaxed, finally allowing muscles that had been tense for hours to loosen up. Closing her eyes for a moment, she heard Ronon say, "Just rest for a few minutes. There's nothing more we can do for John right now, right?"

She looked at him, then at John. "Not for a while."

"Then rest."

She nodded and they stood, moving over to the other side of the compartment. Though she didn't mean to, she was fast asleep only moments later.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	7. Chapter 7

Fourteen year-old Teyla awoke to the sound of Charin humming an old Athosian ballad. When she opened her eyes, Charin was sitting beside her on the ground. Charin stopped singing and bent over toward her, brushing her fingers along Teyla's temple. 

"How are you doing, child?"

Teyla started to sit up, but stopped when pain shot from her right thigh and ran like a spark on dry kindling along her nerve endings. She gasped and clutched Charin's arm. A tear escaped and ran down her cheek as she tried to control the discomfort she felt. 

Charin brushed the tear away, and then put a hand over hers and squeezed. "Deep breaths, Teyla. Use long deep breaths. I know it hurts, but you can manage it."

"What – " Teyla started to ask, then memories from the previous night flooded her mind. The skree attack. The bite. The terrible pain afterwards. The paralysis. Charin with her. Treating her wound. Taking care of her. A deep sense of gratitude for the woman who had saved her life. 

Charin nodded. "Yes, a skree attacked us last night. You were very brave to fight it off as you did."

Teyla tried to steady her breathing by taking slow deep breaths as Charin had said, but the pain was searing hot. Charin's calm, soothing tone helped a lot, yet it wasn't enough. She needed more of a distraction, so she looked around. They were in a long, narrow cave and Charin had a fire burning. There was a draft that drew the smoke up into the dark ceiling of rocks and an opening somewhere above them. 

Teyla recognized the place as one of the many shelters used by the Athosians in the wilderness, mostly on overnight trips when hunting game, or in their case, searching for herbs, roots and other sources for medicinal treatments. 

The flickering campfire light licked at the walls of the cave, which were painted with images of Athosian legends. Some of the drawings were very, very old. Teyla's gaze slid across the walls, then to the fire, and back to Charin. 

"How?" she asked, remembering they weren't near the caves when she'd been attacked.

"How did you get here? Why, I carried you, which reminds me once again of how much you have grown in the last year." 

Charin extended her arms and arched her back, as if stretching sore muscles, but her eyes sparkled with humor, though she looked tired. Knowing Charin as well as she did, Teyla knew the woman probably hadn't slept since the attack, her attention devoted solely to tending to Teyla's needs. Teyla swallowed, realizing how dry her throat was. Charin picked up the hide-skin water bag and squirted some of it into Teyla's mouth. 

When Teyla looked up at her for more, Charin smiled. "It is a good sign that you are thirsty. Drink as much as you want, then we shall see about getting some food into you."

Teyla squinted, the sparse light inside the cave suddenly seeming too bright for her eyes. Charin's fingers felt cool as they brushed against her temple. "Yes, Teyla, you are running a fever, but it will pass. I found some senta plants. Already your temperature is down."

Teyla recognized the strong stench of the senta plant and crinkled her nose, yearning to cleanse its odor from her skin, but she didn't have the strength to move, let alone wash.   
  
"I agree, the senta plant stinks, but its benefits outweigh its odor." 

Charin sighed and her gaze became distant. Teyla could see a mixture of emotions in the older woman's eyes reflected by the firelight. She busied herself checking Teyla's leg as she said, "Not many your age could have fought off a skree as you did. Your father will be very proud to hear of your bravery."

The older woman's forehead creased with worry and she looked deep into Teyla's eyes. "I apologize, but I must apply some more of the healing salve to your wound before you try to sleep again. I warn you, it will not be pleasant."

Though Teyla tried to be as strong as Charin had told her she was, tears started running down her cheeks as Charin applied the salve. It felt like the wound was on fire and it was consuming the flesh all the way down to the bone. The older woman worked quickly and efficiently, but it seemed like an eternity to Teyla. Eventually, she was done, then she sat, just holding Teyla's hand, humming that old Athosian ballad again until Teyla's tears stopped flowing.   
  
Her head dipped down and she caught Teyla's gaze. "Do you think you could try to eat a bite of roasted skree?"

Teyla's eyes widened in amazement. "How?" she asked, though she had a good idea as to what Charin was referring to.

Charin chuckled. "Well, I couldn't allow the meat go to waste. It was a young skree, barely older than a pup. It must have strayed away from its pack. We were lucky there were not more of them nearby or neither one of us would be here now. As it was young, the meat was not toughened by age and its skin will be an impressive addition to your ceremonial cape."

"But how?" Teyla asked, her voice cracking.

"You killed it, so the skin is rightfully yours."

Teyla shook her head and waited for more of an answer; she was tired and didn't bother to waste energy on asking more expanded questions. Charin knew what she was after. The older woman busied herself with cutting the meat from the spit she had over the fire. She turned and handed Teyla a bite. Teyla didn't even realize she was hungry until the food was in her mouth. It was delicious. Charin was right. The meat seemed to melt in her mouth.

"I will save the story of what happened after you killed the skree for later." She squeezed Teyla's hand, then gave her another bite. "You are doing well. For that, I am grateful."

Charin leaned back against the cave wall and rubbed her own forehead. "You had me worried, though. I had to wait until morning to go out foraging for the necessary ingredients for your healing salve. All the while, I worried there wasn't enough time left for the treatment to work. But you made it, even though you are unusually drained from your ordeal. I have seen many others respond much more quickly."

Teyla watched her for a moment, thinking of all Charin had done to save her life, then she said, "Thank you."

Charin nodded and squeezed Teyla's hand again. "Do you want more water or food?"

Teyla shook her head, her eyelids drifting closed. 

"Then sleep," Charin said softly.

Unable to keep her eyes opened any longer, Teyla did just that.

**oOoOoOoOo**

The memory receded from Teyla's mind as someone patted her on the arm, making her jump. Opening her eyes, she saw Ronon leaning over her. She started to sit up, then pressed a hand against her side when the movement sent pain shooting in several directions. 

"Take it easy," Ronon said quietly, staying close to her.

She glanced in his direction and moved more carefully this time. Ronon backed away a little, then knelt between her and John as he lay on the floor of the jumper. She looked down to see a fine mist of perspiration on John's face, his complexion ruddy, and he moved a little as if dreaming. 

"He's got a fever," Ronon said quietly, "It's been getting worse over the last hour."

She brushed her hair from her face as she tried to shake off the grogginess from her mind. "An hour? How long was I asleep? Why did you not awaken me sooner?"

Ronon put out a hand to calm her and said, "Relax, it's only been a couple of hours. I knew you said you'd have to do a second treatment on him after three hours, so I woke you after two, just in case there was something you needed to do ahead of time." He frowned and looked over at her. "But I really didn't want to, because you've got a fever, too."

She took a deep breath, rubbing her forehead as she stared at John, unable to contradict him. Her head throbbed and her body ached. She slid to her knees as Ronon stood and moved across John, kneeling on the other side of him. She reached down and touched John's forehead, then looked up at Ronon. 

"His fever is very high. The stalks of the senta plant will help with that. First, we must remove as much of his clothing as possible, so that the juice of the opened stalks can be spread over his skin. That will help bring down his fever."

She pulled back the blankets covering John and took off his boots. He barely reacted, only his murmuring became clearer. She leaned forward to pat him on the cheek. "John? John, can you hear me?"

John's movements stopped for a moment and she thought he was going to say something to her, then he went back to indecipherable mumbling. Teyla watched as she saw tiny ripples of movement of the muscles below John's skin. 

"We must act quickly," she said as she pushed up John's pant legs exposing the calves of his legs. "His fever could cause a seizure if we do not hurry."

Rodney peeked his head out from the forward compartment. "Do you need a hand?"

Teyla shook her head. "Ronon and I can manage. Are you making any progress with the jumper's systems?"

Rodney shook his head. "Not much."

"Keep at it, Rodney. John needs to be transported to Atlantis as soon as possible."

"Oh, that's a news update. Thanks a lot," Rodney said, overflowing with sarcasm, then disappeared from sight. 

Through it all, John didn't awaken, not even when they moved around him, a fact that worried Teyla a great deal. She tried to remember all that Charin had taught her about the healing treatments, wishing once again the woman was there herself to treat him, or better yet Carson and his cadre of medical personnel. 

Taking a deep breath, she told herself, _What I know will have to be enough._

She took out her knife and slit open the stalks of the senta plant, then spread the oozing fluid onto John's heated skin. John roused a little with this, not enough to fully awaken, but he seemed aware of her ministrations in some distant way. Teyla's nostrils flared with the distinct scent of senta fluid, its odor reminding her of rotten eggs.

She tried to ignore it as she opened the medical kit and pulled out two instant ice packs. She squeezed the bags until they popped inside and mixed the chemicals to cause the packs to turn icy cold. She handed one to Ronon. "Place these under John's armpits. This will also help to bring down his fever. We must try everything we can think of. Charin spoke of deaths among my people when their fever from the skree bite grew out of control."

Ronon picked up one of the opened senta plant stalks and held it out for her. "Here, you better use some of this on yourself."

She shook her head. "First, we take care of John. It is a little early for a second application of the salve, but since his fever is so high, I think we have to act quickly. Be prepared, even though I will be applying the salve over the first coat, there can be pain – sometimes, a great deal. The morphine should still be working, but..."

Ronon nodded. "I'll help keep him still."

He put a hand to John's good shoulder as Teyla pulled back the gauze from the wound. There was a change in its appearance from the initial bite. There were still distinct areas of white and red, but both were smaller, shrinking the area of involvement. It appeared the salve was working. She dipped her finger into the yellow green goo and carefully applied the stuff to the bite wound itself, using up all that was in the canister for the second application. 

"Good God, what is that stench?" Rodney asked, sticking his head back into sight.

Teyla was about to answer him when John's eyes flew open. John gritted his teeth together and groaned loudly. She put her clean hand to his cheek and whispered words of comfort. "Easy, John, the pain will pass. Just stay with me. And take slow deep breaths."

He nodded and tried to slow his breathing. Rodney walked into the rear compartment and stood there, wiping his hands on a towel as he stared at them. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked in a hushed whisper.

Teyla nodded, but didn't look toward Rodney, focusing her attention on John. Ronon looked up at her from his position opposite her, his brow furrowed in concern, but he didn't say anything, either. He didn't have to, his expression said it all. 

"Maybe we should give him another shot," Rodney said, stepping closer.

She thought for a moment and shook her head. 

"Have patience," she said as her fingers brushed across John's sweaty brow, then wondered if she'd been speaking to the others or herself. 

After a few minutes, the tight bunches of muscles in John's face and neck relaxed. He opened his eyes again, looking up at Teyla and Ronon bleary-eyed. Teyla smiled to see him awake. "How are you doing?"

John's eyelids drooped a bit. "A little like...I've been traveling too close to the sun...trying to out maneuver that rogue F-103 from the Daedalus last year."

Rodney bent down and quipped, "I'll have you know that you may have caused me irreparable skin damage from that little romp."

John grunted, the corners of his lips turning upward, then he swallowed hard. Teyla brought a bottle of water to his lips, giving him a slow but steady flow of water as she said, "You are able to talk now. That is a good sign."

John nodded, then drank until he signaled for her to stop. She brushed a towel across his sweaty forehead. 

"Am I gonna live," he asked with a slight smirk, but Teyla could see a hint of fear lurking in his gaze.

"You are doing better now, though your fever is quite high, but the juice of the senta plant should help with that."

"Stuff stinks," he said with a sigh.

She smiled. "I know. Has most of the paralysis passed?"

He moved his arms and legs a little and nodded back to her. "Yeah, most of it." Then he paused, looking up at her. "What time is it?"

"Nearly morning. You should rest now."

He shook his head, but it was such a slight movement and it seemed to deplete his meager energy reserves. "I should check out the jumper's systems. We need to work on getting out of here."

"Leave that to Rodney, John. Wait until your strength returns on its own. Push too fast too hard and your health will suffer for it."

Though he shook his head again, his eyelids drooped a little more, and he reminded Teyla of a little boy trying to fight off bedtime for as long as he could. 

"Rest, John," she murmured softly, brushing her thumb across his forehead. 

"That's not fair," he murmured back. 

A moment later, he was asleep. 

Teyla put a hand on John's chest, then his forehead. "Perhaps it is not fair, but sleep is the best medicine I can offer you at the moment." 

She looked up at Ronon. "He does seem to be better, but he might need a third application of the salve, perhaps more depending on how he does. Maybe we should take advantage of the lull in activity to make more of the salve and be done with it."

Ronon frowned. "That means going back out there again."

Rodney threw a hand into the air, obviously dismayed at the thought. "Ah, come on, you can't seriously be thinking of doing that again, can you?"

She nodded, but her tone was appeasing. "It is nearly daylight. The skree sleep during the day as their primary food source, the nagala, is also nocturnal. We will not have to worry about them being hungry as they will have carried away and consumed their dead while we have been sheltered here. Besides, I need some fresh air and something to keep me busy."

Ronon and Rodney looked at each other, but didn't say anything as she prepared the herbs for another batch. Rodney straightened his jacket, then rubbed his leg with a pained expression. "I'm still trying to reroute some of the jumper's subsystems that were damaged in the fall. Without enough power, there's no way we'll be able to fly out of here on our own." He sighed as he finished speaking.

Teyla nodded, troubled by Rodney's dismal assessment. Then Ronon opened the rear hatch, and Teyla saw the sun had risen enough for its light to filter into the sinkhole. With the sight, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The sunlight shining down reassured her in ways nothing else had done since the sinkhole collapse had begun. 

A light breeze caressed her cheek. The sound of the nearby stream rushing by was soothing. Maybe, she wondered, maybe she hadn't needed to bond just to the land, but also to the sky, wind, and water to heal. Perhaps all four elements were necessary to achieve the desired effect, she decided as she straightened her shoulders, feeling renewed – at least in spirit. 

She walked over to the fire and stirred its embers, bringing it back to life, then placed more wood to add fuel. Turning to Rodney, she said, "We are safe enough out here. Go ahead and close the rear hatch to conserve heat inside the jumper."

Rodney nodded and hit the hatch control. Teyla watched it until she couldn't see Rodney or John any longer. Ronon cleared his throat. "Do you need any help?"

She shook her head. "No, I can do this alone."

His gaze darted around the area before returning to her. "I'm going to check things out. I'll be back in a few."

She nodded and he took off. After a few minutes, she placed the canteen filled with chopped herbs and water back in the same position as earlier in the night. She stood and looked around, putting her hand to her side. 

The ache had grown to include an area several inches around the surgical incision and the wound itself felt hot to the touch. A chill ran down her back and she wrapped her arms around her chest for warmth. The cold dampness of the sinkhole seemed to drain away all of her body heat, even when standing next to the fire. She told herself she needed to take another dose of antibiotics when she returned to the jumper.

As she watched the mixture over the fire, it began to bubble and boil. It was almost time to take the salve into the jumper and she began to look around for Ronon. She walked past the edge of the camp and found him as he returned from scouting the area. The Satedan seemed on edge, his hand resting on the grip of his weapon. She went out to meet him as he returned. "What did you find?"

"Lots of skree tracks. We only got a few of them last night. There's got to be at least a dozen more of them still roaming around."

She took a deep breath. The news wasn't comforting. She tried to look at it in the best light possible. "We should be safe as long as the skree are sleeping," she said softly. 

Ronon glanced at the jumper about thirty feet away from them. It looked pretty battered in the soft clarity of the early morning sunlight.

Ronon shrugged. "We're too exposed."

Teyla met his gaze. "We have the jumper for shelter. Even if it is another day before Atlantis comes, the healing salve should keep John alive."

He turned to face her more fully, worry furrowing his brow, and she felt the full weight of his attention directed at her. "You don't look like you can wait another day..."

She smiled to appease him, her heart genuinely warmed by his brotherly concern. 

"The antibiotics should resolve my problem. I am more worried about you. We need to make sure your arm is properly set. And Rodney's foot needs to be examined. Those are the things we should concern ourselves with next. Come, the salve should be thickened by now."

They started to walk back toward the jumper when Ronon stopped so suddenly she almost ran into him. For a moment, Teyla thought he'd seen a skree or something equally dangerous, and her hand automatically went to her handgun, but then she saw he was looking upward. 

As she followed his gaze, bewildered, all she saw was the early morning sun streaming down. The same sunlight that had brought her comfort earlier, now seemed an irritating distraction. She squinted against its brightness, looking more closely, trying to see what had caught Ronon's eye. 

As she watched, a single rock fell from above and her breath caught. It was so small, it shouldn't have alarmed her, but it did. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was reading too much into it. Unable to take another breath, and unable to turn away from the hillside, she asked, "Ronon?"

Then she heard him exhale sharply, then as if that was all it took, the entire hillside start shifting down toward them and her world went with it.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	8. Chapter 8

"No," Teyla whispered as she stared at the landslide slipping down the edge of the sinkhole toward the jumper. She started forward and the whisper became a shout, even though she knew there was no way for Rodney to hear her warning. "Rodney, look out!"

Ronon grabbed her arm as the lightest of the debris started bouncing down upon them just ahead of the main mass and he pushed her in the opposite direction, shouting, "Go!" 

Pebbles and stones flew through the air like a hail storm. Teyla finally gave in and ran beside Ronon, ignoring the way the stuff buffeted her back as they fled the campsite. She hit her radio. "Rodney, brace yourself!"

"For what?" Rodney said, the words barked at her in panicked alarm.

"There is a landslide descending upon you!"

"Ah, crap," he said. "You're kid–"

The rest of his words were obscured by the noise of a hundred thousand tons of earth moving. She started to turn around to check on the jumper's status, but Ronon grabbed her arm and pulled her along until they had run about fifty yards, and then he stopped, pivoting to look back behind them. 

Teyla spun around, too, almost afraid to see what had happened to the jumper. She put a hand to her mouth as the last of the shifting debris blanketed the small craft, spilling down to completely envelop the rear of it. Only the starboard side and half of the forward viewport remained visible. She took a few steps forward, shaking her head, and then she glanced back at Ronon. His expression held the same level of horror and disbelief she was feeling. 

He looked over at her and they rushed forward as one. Concern fueled their momentum, but dread was also slowing them down. She ran, not really aware of crossing the distance between them and the jumper. 

They separated once they reached the ship; Ronon headed for the rear hatch while she ran to the forward window. "Rodney? How are you?" she asked as she climbed on top of a few rocks to get a better vantage point.

"Rodney?" she asked next, pausing to rub the sleeve of her jacket across the muddy viewport to clear it, then her breath caught when she saw John and Rodney sprawled on the floor of the jumper. She pounded on the windshield and called to them, knowing deep down it was unlikely to generate a response. "John! Rodney!"

"The rear hatch is totally blocked, " Ronon said breathlessly as he jogged to the front of the jumper holding his arm, running apparently taking its toll on him. "How are they?"

Teyla shook her head, unable to speak for a moment, and fought back the urge to cry. Finally, she caught Ronon's gaze. "They appear to be unconscious," she said, her voice sounding just as shaky as she felt. 

Ronon climbed up beside her. "What happened to McKay?"

"I do not know, but he is lying on the floor in the forward section – " 

She gasped as she saw several whispery tendrils of smoke coming from the access panel Rodney had been working on. She pointed to it. "Ronon, there is smoke at that access panel!"

Ronon moved closer to the window to get a better look. "Something must have happened in the landslide," he said grimly.

She nodded, then she stared at the smoking panel, frantic with worry. John was lying in the rear compartment just as they'd left him while Rodney was on his stomach inside the forward compartment. We have to find a way inside, somehow, some way...

Then she remembered the radio in her tac vest. She switched it on and said in a rush, "John, Rodney, can you hear me?"

She looked at the window, and then at Ronon, hoping against hope for a reaction. Swallowing hard, she called again, but didn't receive a response. Ronon slammed a fist against the windshield. "Come on, move!"

The two didn't move and Teyla didn't know what to do next. She looked at her trembling hand still pressed against the windshield and realized she was shaking all over. Her adrenaline rush was peaking out, leaving her much frailer than she wanted to admit. 

"There has got to be something we can do to help them," she said, her voice breaking from the emotion overwhelming her. "I will not lose another friend so soon, let alone two of them. I will not!"

Unable to remain still, she climbed down from the windshield and ran to the rear of the jumper, having to detour around a tree that was trapped near the front. She stopped short when she saw the rear of the jumper was completely covered by fallen earth, just as Ronon had said. She paced a few more steps, taking in the new view, amazed at the sheer volume of earth that had been moved in the slide. A good quarter of the sinkhole had been affected to some extent, certain areas more deeply buried than others, especially south of their position, up to and including the rear of the jumper, but luckily it hadn't enveloped the small ship completely. 

Teyla put her hand to her forehead as she tried to get her thoughts organized into a rescue plan. The sweat generated from running to the jumper now made her feel even more chilled and fevered. But it didn't matter. Not until they found a way to get to John and Rodney.  
  
She turned and saw Ronon approaching behind her. "Take it easy, Teyla. You're hurt and – "

She flashed him an angry glare that stopped him in mid-sentence. Her jaw was tight as she said, "We will deal with my condition once we know for sure if John and Rodney are still alive!"

Ronon put up his hand and walked down the length of the jumper, shaking his head. "I know what you're feeling – I feel the same way – but you shouldn't be wasting energy you don't have to spare. We have to face facts. The only access point into the jumper is blocked. There's no way to get inside, except through the rear hatch."

Teyla found herself breathing fast and shallow as she whispered, "But John will need another treatment and his fever – "

Ronon nodded and practically growled as he headed for the rear of the jumper. "Then dig them out."

Without tools, he began moving the rubble with his hand, tossing it behind him as fast as he could move. Teyla spied the shovel John had been using earlier and grabbed it. She rushed to Ronon's side and began working, but just as quickly as they pushed the debris away, more took its place. 

In his fervor, Ronon slipped on some of the rubble and fell. He gasped, and muttered a Satedan curse before rolling on the ground for a moment. Teyla knelt beside him, putting a hand to his shoulder. She took a deep breath and said, "This is getting us nowhere. You were right before. We must stop and think before we act."

Ronon bit his lip and nodded as he held his arm close to him, disappointment and pain twisting his handsome features. She patted him on the arm, and then stood and offered a hand to help him up. She had no way of knowing how or what, she only knew they had to do something to save their friends.

**oOoOoOoOo**

Hours later, Teyla watched the falling rain as it hit the ground outside of their sheltered area, and sighed. Rodney's earlier recitation of the ways one could die from too much rain echoed through her thoughts. He should have added being trapped in a jumper under a hillside of debris to the list. Luckily, the smoke coming from the access panel had stopped, so it appeared death by smoke inhalation was no longer a concern.

She zipped her jacket all the way up, but she still shivered. Her fever had remained, stubborn and rising, and her side ached more than ever. Ronon had a fire going, utilizing the shelter of a huge tree that had been trapped toward the front of the jumper to their advantage. The tree draped over them with enough clearance from the ground to walk around without bending over or worry about the tree catching on fire, but it also had enough foliage to protect them from most of the rain, except when the wind gusted, which was happening with greater frequency. It felt like another big storm was moving in.

Teyla had found the backpack she'd abandoned the day before beside the stream and was doing an inventory of their supplies. Looking to the river, she told herself water wasn't going to be a problem, but all they had to eat was a handful of power bars and whatever edible vegetation they could find. It was enough to survive on until Atlantis sent help, but she worried about the status of her friends inside the jumper. 

Ronon had grown very quiet over the last half hour after busying himself with the fire. He stood suddenly, tossing aside a stick he had in his hand. "I'm going to do another recon around the area. There's got to be something we can do to – " 

She reached up from where she was kneeling with the backpack and put a hand to his wrist. "We have already circled the area twice. What makes you believe a third trip will uncover something new?"

He growled and pulled away, lifting up a tree branch so he could leave the sheltered area. "Then I'm going to work on digging them out again."

She stood, though her movements weren't nearly as graceful as his. "And I have lost count of the number of times we have tried that. The rubble just keeps shifting downward. Please, sit and eat."

For a moment, she thought he was going to bolt away to either scout the area or dig at the rubble again, but he stopped and turned to her. "We have to do something," he said, not willing to give up. 

His frustration was so palpable she thought she could reach out and touch it as it hung in the air between them. She softened her voice as she said, "We have done all we can for the moment. Perhaps after we eat and rest a moment, we will think of something more useful."

He sighed heavily. She wasn't sure what he was going to do, but finally he let go of the tree branch and turned back toward her to sit beside the fire. Ronon's facial features were tight with pain, and though he hadn't said a word of complaint, she knew his arm was bothering him and the cold rain didn't help. 

Teyla followed him there, though if the truth be told, food and rest were the last things on her mind. She sat down carefully, guarding her side and caught Ronon eyeing her in the same way she'd just done him. Not acknowledging his concern, she handed him a power bar and the canteen, saying, "We will have to share the canteen, but we have plenty of power bars. And here are some sonit roots. They are on the bitter side, but they have nutritional value." 

Ronon nodded and took the food she'd offered. He ripped open the power bar with his teeth due to his broken arm and took a bite before glaring at her. "How can you stay so calm? Just waiting around doing nothing is killing me."

"I was not very calm earlier," she said with some embarrassment.

"You were worried for Sheppard and Rodney. It passed quickly. Couldn't tell it to look at you now."

She smiled and opened her own power bar, but didn't eat. "I learned long ago that two very important principles can help one survive almost anything."

Talking around the food in his mouth, he asked, "And what's that?"

"Patience and vigilance." She looked into the fire that was sending up a plume of smoke as she continued, "The ability to wait until there is something useful to do, instead of wasting valuable energy, as you so wisely pointed out earlier. The second is to keep one's mind open for any possible resolution to the problem at hand."

"Patience and vigilance, huh?" Ronon thought about it for a moment as he took another bite of his power bar, finishing it off. 

He relaxed a bit, but remained silent as he picked up a sonit root. He sniffed at the dark green twisted root. "Makes sense. One of my comrades in the Satedan military said everything came from wait and hope."

She smiled sadly. "I can endure waiting most of the time, but hope has become a very precious commodity."

He looked at her more closely. "You mean because of what happened with Beckett?"

She nodded before looking up and saw him watching her with more concern. She rubbed her aching forehead and waved a hand. "Do not listen to me. This melancholy will pass with time."

"Is that why you wanted to come here?"

She stretched the tight muscles in her neck and thought for a moment, and then nodded. "I feel a little like that tarksmer I knew as a child...hurt, tired, and in need of more than I can provide for myself. I thought maybe coming here might help give me a better perspective on what was troubling me."

"You'll get past this," he said softly. 

She stared into the fire, nodding. "It all seems so unimportant when I think of Rodney and John trapped like they are. This entire trip was a mistake, one that all of you have had to pay for with your blood."

Ronon chuckled as he tossed away the remnants of his sonit root. "Don't you remember? We invited ourselves along for the ride. Whatever happens rests solely on our shoulders."

Teyla felt her expression tighten, and she blinked several times, but couldn't stop a tear that rolled down her cheek unbidden. She almost rejected Ronon's compassion and kindness because she was so at odds with herself, yet part of her wanted to embrace his friendship and comfort. Angry at her roller-coaster emotions, she started to stand, but Ronon stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Teyla."

She moved past him and stood, but had nowhere to go. Brushing the tear from her cheek, she blinked and stammered, "I – I came here to meditate, to think things through, but right now, all I can think of is – " 

He stood, turning to face her, his hand going to her shoulder to gently hold her in place. "Look, I know I'm not as smart as McKay and Sheppard, or as patient and insightful as you are, but I do know this – sometimes all we have left is hope. And hope is telling me we will make it out of here alive. Sheppard would tell you that himself if he was standing here. You have to believe we can make it, even if everything else says it's impossible."

He squeezed her shoulder. She put her head against his chest and sighed. Some of the turmoil inside of her eased as he wrapped his arm around her back and held her tight. After a moment, she pulled away a little and put a hand to his chest as she whispered, "Thank you for your insightful wisdom, Ronon Dex. You discount your own abilities too easily."

She took a deep breath and rested her cheek against his chest again. "You would not have been able to stay alive as a Wraithrunner for as long as you did without them."

"What are you talking about? I'm a hothead," Ronon said with a smirk as he let go of her. "A very determined hothead at times and I get lucky a lot, so I guess it works for me."

She settled against the side of the jumper, the warmth of the nearby fire again seductive. "If that is what you choose to call yourself. I think in other terms. What you might call a hothead can be a great asset if probably channeled. You are an aggressive foe and I will be forever grateful that you are on my side and not that of my enemy. As for luck, I would say you are always prepared, which makes it difficult for someone to take you by surprise."

Ronon pulled away. "Aggressiveness and being prepared aren't exactly what we need right now. We need McKay up and about. He'd find a way in if you and I were trapped inside the jumper and they were out here."

She shook her head. "No, not when there is no other way available. Even Rodney cannot provide miracles when there is nothing to work from."

She put her hand to her side as she tried to find a comfortable position. When he didn't say anything more, she glanced over at Ronon to find him watching her closely. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked her after a moment.

She sighed. "I am surviving like you. I only pray Rodney and John are all right. John is long overdue for another application of the healing salve and Rodney's condition is unknown. I worry for both of them." 

Ronon looked away toward the front of the jumper. "Sheppard's tough. So is McKay. Not that McKay would ever admit it." He reached over and added some more wood to the fire. "Hey, how do you know so much about treating a skree bite?"

She took a deep breath. "We have history, the skree and I. Though, I have never heard of them attacking so recklessly before. They must be completely unnerved by the situation involving the sinkhole."

Ronon was silent for a moment before he asked, "What kind of history?"

She felt her gaze grow distant as she let out a long breath. "The kind that comes from personal experience. I have known others who were bitten by the skree, myself included."

He sat up a little. "You were? When?"

"When I was fourteen. I was with Charin on a trip to gather medicinal supplies. A skree attacked. I managed to kill it before it could harm Charin, but in the process, it bit me. Somehow, Charin got us to safety. I would have died if it hadn't been for her and the healing salve she made for me."

"You killed one of those skree at fourteen?" He grunted, eyeing her with appreciation, then he smiled. "That doesn't surprise me much, having been on the receiving end of your wrath before."

She put her uneaten power bar back into her pocket and sighed. "My wrath won't do much for us at the moment."

"Maybe not. At least you know firsthand that the cure works." 

Teyla felt her expression tighten as she looked into the fire. She had to be honest with him. "Yes, but I didn't have John's other injuries to contend with, and I wasn't trapped in a jumper in an ever growing sinkhole, at least a day away from added assistance." 

Ronon let his head dip down to catch her gaze. "Don't dwell on the negative. McKay does enough of that for all of us. And don't forget what we were talking about. Remember hope." 

She studied him for a moment. Hope almost seemed like a cruel taunt at the moment, but she decided not to say anything. Ronon saw her hesitation. His voice was low and soothing as he said, "What? You think there's no chance to rescue them, so why hope for a rescue? I'll tell you why, because after seven years on the run, hope was all I had to keep me going. I appreciate its worth. We'll find a way to get to Sheppard and McKay."

Though she avoided his gaze, she felt his eyes taking in her every move. Glancing away, she nodded. "Yes, of course, you are right."

When she looked up at him again, he had picked up a small stick and was pointing it in her direction. "You're not eating."

Not much escaped Ronon's attention, she thought, then she said, "I am not hungry."

When he started to speak, she quickly added, "But I will take some water."

He handed her the canteen. Once she had drank her fill, he stood. "Well, so much for patience and vigilance, I can't sit around anymore. I'm going to go check on them."

She followed him to her feet. "I will go with you."

They left the sheltered area and went to the forward viewport as they had done countless times since the landslide and looked inside. Even though hours had passed, neither Rodney or John had moved. Teyla tried her radio again, but knew it was pointless. 

A fleeting thought made her breath catch. What if John and Rodney were both dead and that was the real reason why they weren't moving? She ached inside at the thought, but then forced herself to consider only the things she knew with certainty and avoid giving into runaway fears. Ronon's reminder of hope echoed in her head. Did she dare hope they might still live?

Cupping her fingers around her eyes to block the outside light, she pressed her face against the windshield, and watched John intently. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she saw the slight rise and fall of John's chest. At least she thought he was breathing. The movement was so small, she might have been imagining it. Maybe the ability to hope, the possibility of believing in a positive outcome when there was nothing else to go by hadn't abandoned her completely.

Then Rodney coughed and moved a little. She nearly yelped with joy as she reached for her radio. "Rodney! Rodney, can you hear me?"

He moved again, but his movements were sluggish and uncoordinated.

Thank the Ancestors! They are both alive! 

In a breathless tone, she said, "Rodney, you have to listen. If you look up, you can see us at the front of the jumper."

Rodney rolled over, then groaned and held his head. 

Ronon leaned close to Teyla's radio and shouted, "MCKAY, MOVE YOUR ASS!"

Teyla jumped, but not as much as Rodney did. He was up on his knees, looking around in the next instant, then he dropped and rolled onto his back, holding his foot up in the air as he cursed. 

"Rodney, look at the forward view port," she said, relief evident in her tone.

After a moment, he looked at them from an upside down view and shook his head. He rolled over and stared at them in confusion. He sagged back against the bulkhead wall and put a hand to his head. He gagged a few times, as if he was about to vomit, then just closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the wall.

Teyla called to him again. "Rodney, how are you doing?"

He reached down and gripped his radio. "You mean, how am I doing aside from the heart attack Chewie just gave me? Oh, I'm just fine. Thanks a lot, big guy."

"You're welcome," Ronon said back to him.

Rodney looked up at them, his expression still confused. "What the hell happened? I was working on that access panel when you radioed, then all hell broke loose."

"It was a landslide. It must have done something to the ship's systems."

"Wonderful," Rodney said with a whimper. His movements were shaky, his coloring poor, and Teyla could see a large ugly bruise forming on his forehead. "How long was I out?"

"It has been several hours," she said, pausing for a moment. "Rodney, I know you are hurt, but I need for you to check on John."

With the mention of John's name, Rodney's whole focus shifted and he scrambled to the rear compartment. "Oh God, I forgot all about him," he whispered as he moved, limping badly.

He stopped beside the prone man and glanced up at Ronon and Teyla in fear, as if afraid to touch John and find out he was dead. Teyla nodded with encouragement and he reached forward to feel for a pulse. He squeezed his eyes shut and said, "I've got a pulse. It's faint and rapid, but it's there."

He straightened, looking at them through the windshield. "He's still feverish." 

Teyla licked her lips as she assessed Rodney's information. "How does his shoulder wound look?"

Rodney pulled back the gauze and frowned. "Ah, crap, it looks a lot worse. There's dark areas around the bite, and it's swollen, seeping and hot to the touch." He swallowed hard, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and moved away a little. "Actually, it looks pretty gross."

He turned back to her, looking scared and frustrated at the same time. "What the hell am I supposed to do? He needs a doctor, not someone who's fighting the urge to puke all over him."

"One thing at a time, Rodney. Do you see any changes to his other injuries?"

Rodney looked at John more closely and sighed. "No, nothing I can see, other than the bruises are darker, especially around his ribs on the left side."

She nodded, remembering the possible cracked ribs she'd found earlier. Rodney continued, "Who knows what he's got as far as internal injuries? Damn it to hell!"

"Rodney," Teyla said in a quiet tone, but firmly. 

When he looked at her, she smiled at him, trying to send him courage across the distance separating them. "We cannot do anything about internal injuries at the moment, but John is long past due for another application of the healing salve. That is something we can remedy. I stored the salve in the medical kit. Can you find it?"

Rodney's gaze darted around, and then he nodded as he bent to pick it up. He opened the case and grabbed one of the specimen jars Teyla had prepared. 

"Yes, Rodney, that's it. All you need to do is apply the salve. Be sure to make the layer of salve thicker over the darkened areas."

He started to do as instructed, then backed away. "Will it hurt him like before?"

Teyla shook her head. "I doubt it. He seems to be deeply unconscious."

Rodney nodded and he bent forward to apply the salve. As predicted, John didn't react at all, but that fact brought Teyla little solace. She spared a glance in Ronon's direction just as he slammed the palm of his hand against the jumper. "We need to be in there, not out here – "

She put a hand to his arm and squeezed gently. "It is what it is, Ronon. Nothing more, nothing less. At least Rodney is conscious now."

Rodney's voice drew her attention back to him. "Okay, it's on. But – but he barely moved. I guess that isn't a good sign. Or is it? Damn it! Who knows? He was barely holding his own before – "

Rodney was working himself into quite a state. Teyla nipped it in the bud. "Very good, Rodney. What you just did will give him a much better chance to recover. Now, how are you?"

Her question took him by surprise. He glanced up at her, then looked away. "I'm–I'm fine, just beat up a little more...hit my head on something, and then there's my damn foot."

He looked back at John. "But compared to him, I'm the picture of perfect health."

John shivered slightly and Rodney tucked the blanket that had been over him a little more tightly, especially over his bare chest and shoulders. Teyla noticed for the first time how the floor of the jumper was strewn with items that came free when the jumper first fell into the sinkhole.

Rodney rubbed one hand across the bruise on his forehead as he rested on his knees. His troubled gaze went to John again. He touched John's forehead again and glanced over to Teyla. "Sheppard's still got a fever. It seems better, but it's still there."

"Do you see your backpack? It's got the senta plant in it. Cut open the stalks and rub the juice across John's skin. It will help to bring down his fever."

"Yeah, okay," he said, his voice sounding a little weaker. "Wait. Ah, man, that's the stuff that stinks to high heaven, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is, Rodney, but its medicinal value is important."

"Not to my nose," he muttered. 

Rodney's movements were stilted and he kept reaching out to the bench seats beside him or the floor to steady himself. When he was done applying the juice, he sat down on his butt and rubbed his leg again until a thought struck him. He spun around and stared at them with eyes wide fear. 

"Why – why haven't you guys tried coming In the rear hatch?"

His gaze narrowed as his mouth opened and closed several times, then he looked all around the interior of the jumper. "Oh, God, we're trapped in here, aren't we?"

He stood, beginning to panic as he looked around before he stared out the forward window at them. "That's it, isn't it? Crap, that's it. No, not again. Geez, not again. I swore I wouldn't let myself to be trapped inside one of these things ever again."

Rodney's thoughts seemed as scattered as the paraphernalia on the floor as he backed himself into one corner of the rear compartment of the jumper, and then slid down to the ground. There was a wild, glazed look in his eyes. 

"Rodney?" she said, raising her voice.

He continued to mutter, "Not again."

She called his name, practically shouting. "Rodney!"

He glanced up at her. The glazed look was not gone completely, but at least he was listening. She had to keep him busy or he'd panic again. "We will find a way to get to you and John, but you must remain calm. Can you check the jumper's systems? See if there was any additional damage done in the landslide?"

He said, looking a little confused. "Huh?"

"Rodney, do a systems check."

He rubbed a hand over his face and gave her a haunted look. "Systems check?"

She nodded. He glanced around, scratching at his forehead, and then it seemed his confusion eased and he looked more like his old self. 

"Sure, why not? I've got nothing better to do," he muttered as he staggered to his feet, moving slowly, and limped to the cockpit. 

Teyla felt guilty for making him move around when he was obviously injured. Ronon growled and slammed a fist against the jumper again, and she guessed he was feeling the same type of frustration she was fighting with.

"Damn, I must live a cursed life," Rodney grumbled. "I should live in a padded cell with the kind of luck I have. Whatever made me want to leave the safe secure life I had back in the Milky Way galaxy? Well, aside from the fact I was totally bored out of my skull," Rodney said as he sat in the pilot's seat and the HUD popped up immediately. 

From their vantage point, she could see he'd brought up the jumper's main diagnostic menu. Rodney stared at it for a minute, and then cursed.

"What is it?" she asked.

He made a face and turned to the access panel he'd been working on before the landslide. "It looks like the repairs I made have just been undone...and we've got other problems. The port drive pod looks damaged. I'm not sure if it's the engine itself, or if it's the whole nacelle that's affected."

Teyla took a deep breath. "Try dialing Atlantis again. Maybe with the landslide, the rubble was redistributed in such a way that a communications signal would be able to escape the sinkhole."

"Yes, that's a very good idea," Rodney said as he nodded with sudden excitement. 

He quickly punched in the address, but there was no response. He repeated himself a few times, then switched off the DHD. The momentary exhilaration in Rodney's eyes dwindled as he caught Teyla's gaze and held it for a moment. He sighed and leaned forward, propping his elbows on the console and held his head.

There was a cough, and then a groan from the rear of the compartment. When Teyla looked over, she saw John move, groaning again, more loudly this time, but he was awake. Rodney limped back to him, practically bubbling with joy. He sat down beside John. 

"Finally decided to come back to life, Lazarus?" he asked, sarcasm replacing his relief. 

John rolled a little on his side, put a hand to his shoulder and glared at Rodney, his voice low and graveled. "This is what I get to wake up to? You're not exactly what I was hoping for, and quite frankly I deserve better."

"Well, it seems I'm all you've got, so deal with it." Rodney leaned closer as John acted as if he wanted to sit up. Rodney didn't move to help him. Instead, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Do you want an honest answer?" John growled as he pushed himself up on one elbow. "Are you going to help me or what?"

"Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, you don't know – "

John slid himself closer to the bench seat to pull himself up. Rodney sighed and put out his hands to help. "Here, let me help you before you fall flat on your face."

"Thanks," John said once he was situated. He blinked and wiped the back of one hand across his forehead. He looked up at Rodney and squinted. "Geez, McKay, you're filthy."

"And you aren't?" Rodney glanced forward. "Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the jumper. Hey, be nice, Teyla and Ronon are watching," he said, pointing to them.

John shifted to see them and waved a few fingers in their direction. "Why are you guys out there?" he asked, glancing to Rodney leerily.

Rodney sighed. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"That good, huh? Great."

"Remember when I swore I'd never be trapped in one of these things again?"

John looked over at him, locking onto his gaze. "That was underwater, Rodney. We aren't at the bottom of the ocean and you aren't at risk of drowning. We've got lots of air to breathe."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "You like to point out the obvious, don't you, Einstein? Well, trapped is still trapped." He offered John one of the bottles of water Teyla had left out. "Thirsty?"

John took it and downed half of it before Rodney stopped him. "Whoa, whoa, maybe you should take it a little easier."

John scowled, but nodded. 

The two of them continued to talk as Teyla let out a slow breath and put her hand to her forehead. Minutes ago, she'd feared for her friends' lives. Now, they were both up and around, though no one would say either one of them looked well, especially John. In fact, he looked pretty bad. 

The man's stamina and endurance was always something that amazed her, but John was only human and he'd been through much. It seemed ungrateful to expect much more than the miracle of knowing her friends were still alive, but as she watched the interactions between the two, she also felt a very strong surge of gratitude...and, yes, hope. Maybe it was about time for things to change for the better.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	9. Chapter 9

A long tendril of late afternoon sun broke through the clouds as Teyla watched Ronon. He traversed the fast-moving stream between them and the jumper as easily as if he had lived around it all his life. He was on his way back from yet another scouting trip, using the assorted rocks littering the stream's path as stepping stones. Even from this distance, she could see Ronon was in warrior mode, eyeing the shadows for danger. Maybe she was just imagining it, but the worsening weather made those shadows seem more ominous. 

She sat on a rock in front of the jumper's forward viewport, watching Rodney work on the main access panel to the damaged jumper systems. John was up and in the pilot's seat, insisting he was fine, but he looked like nothing of the kind. Dressed in a spare t-shirt and with his boots back on via assistance from Rodney, he sat at an angle – one she assumed allowed him to guard his injured shoulder, or his ribs, or maybe both. 

The sarcasm in John's voice drew Teyla's attention back to their conversation. "Well, if we can't move the jumper out from under this pile of rubble, then it doesn't really matter, now does it, Rodney?"

"A child could come to that conclusion, _Colonel_." Rodney made a point of emphasizing John's rank. The scientist rubbed gingerly at the goose egg on his forehead before he continued, "but gunning the engines in a mad attempt to blast ourselves out of here is sheer idiocy. The whole thing would be completely uncontrolled. And there would be nothing to prevent that mountainside of rubble from crashing down on us after we did it, making the situation infinitely worse – that is, if we didn't blow ourselves up in the first place – because, as I mentioned before, trapped is still trapped and I don't do trapped well. Not in the least."

John smacked his lips together as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. "McKay, you're just a fount of positivity. Think. There's got to be a way to get us out of here."

Rodney tossed down the tools in his hands in a fit of anger, only to reach out to the wall steady himself afterward. John shot him a worried glance, and then looked over at Teyla in concern. "Maybe you better sit down for a moment," he said cautiously.

Rodney shook his head, and then his expression contorted into one of deep frustration. "Think, McKay. Sit, McKay. Go fetch, McKay. I feel like a damned trained seal. Besides, I've been doing nothing but think ever since Conan woke me up from a perfectly good bout of semiconsciousness. And everything I can think of just won't work!"

John scratched his eyebrow. "Fine. Do whatever you want, just don't pass out on me. And you've got to admit my idea was a hell of a lot better than your idea of using a drone to blast away the rubble above us."

"I know nothing of the kind," Rodney said defiantly, then looked around as if searching for an explanation. "I was dizzy when I came up with that idea. It was probably low blood sugar and my concussion that altered my thinking, so it doesn't really count as an idea. Things became much clearer after I ate an MRE and rested a bit."

Then Rodney looked around for a moment, confused. He rubbed his bruised forehead again. "Now, what – what was I doing before you interrupted me?"

"Ranting incessantly?" John offered.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Sheppard. Oh, yeah, the starboard drive pod." He turned back to the open access panel.

When he faltered again, Teyla cleared her throat and said, "Rodney, perhaps it is time for another break."

Rodney shook his head. "I'll never get anything done at this rate. Listen, everybody just shut the hell up and let me work in peace."

Teyla took a deep breath, hoping to get them back on track. "Perhaps, we are going about this in the wrong way. Instead of thinking of ways to get the jumper out from under the rubble, maybe there's a way to make an opening in the starboard side of the jumper through which the two of you might escape or maybe through the forward viewport," she said, gesturing toward the areas of the jumper she'd just mentioned.

Rodney rolled his eyes and swivelled around to face her, his expression slaying her with its intensity. "Oh, like that's going to help. May I remind you this is a space-worthy vehicle that can also act as a submersible? Every possible weakness in this jumper has been fortified, and then fortified again, and then fortified again just to be sure nothing was missed. Do you catch a pattern there?"

He shifted his weight off his bad foot. "Besides, it isn't like you would be slicing through butter to make an opening. Quite the opposite. We have nothing on this jumper that can cut through the shielding on this – this... wait a minute – "

He snapped his fingers together and began to pace with a wicked limp, apparently not noticing it as he moved with sudden animation. "There's nothing on board that could cut through the jumper's shielding, but maybe the key to our problem involves the shields."

"The shields," John repeated with a slight smile, and then let out a long breath. 

Rodney stopped, his mouth gaping open as he turned to look at John. John met his gaze with equal amazement. "Could it work?" John asked cautiously.

"No. It couldn't possibly work," Rodney said with certainty, and then he stopped. 

"Well, I don't think – " he started, pausing as he blinked a few times. Then he brought a hand to his temple and held his head.

"What is it, Rodney?" John asked.

Rodney pulled his hand away from his head and waved his fingers in the air. "It's nothing, just got a little dizzy. Let's see what I can do with my brilliant idea."

Teyla leaned closer to the forward viewport. That didn't sound like the same Rodney McKay who had been constantly complaining about his injured foot in the hours after the sinkhole collapse. She licked her lips and met John's worried gaze. 

Rodney was oblivious to their silent communications. He limped over to the copilot's seat and touched a few buttons on the console, bringing up the HUD. John stared at the screen, reading the information, momentarily distracted by it. 

Teyla scowled at the two men as their attention became riveted on the HUD. She leaned closer. "Rodney, what is it?"

John shook his head as he looked at Rodney in amazement. "That would be too easy."

Rodney stopped and gaped at John. "Easy? There is nothing even remotely easy about this. We'll probably wind up killing ourselves while attempting something this farfetched...if it's even possible for the computers to compile and assimilate the data. They are still crunching the numbers. And the power consumption curve would be incredible. It would work for only a matter of minutes at the most – probably not long enough to be of any help at all."

Teyla waved her hand at them, trying to get their attention. "What are you talking about?"

Rodney stood and limped over to another access panel on the port side of the jumper, the same panel that had been smoking hours earlier. He rubbed a hand over his face. For a moment, Teyla thought she saw it shaking. 

"Insanity. Pure, unadulterated insanity," he said quietly.

The corners of John's mouth quirked upward. The effect made him not seem quite as sickly. If there hadn't been a need to have someone in the pilot seat while Rodney tested the jumper's different systems, Teyla knew John would still be resting in the rear compartment. Then again, Rodney wasn't in much better shape. 

She glanced at John and he wiggled his eyebrows at her as he said, "It's going to work."

"In a pig's eye – " Rodney said, then stopped, his eyes darting to a couple of new readouts. "Damn, it might be possible."

Teyla's gaze darted back and forth between the two men. "What is going to work?"

John gave her a roguish grin, albeit one that was only a fraction of his usual vivacity. Since Rodney seemed oblivious to everything except his computer readings, John explained, "We're going to use the jumper's shields to expand out, inserting an artificial wedge between us and the rubble, and then leave it in place, so we can back out from under this mountain without disrupting things too much, at least for as long as we need it to hold for us to get clear. Then, we can retract it and get the hell away from that area."

There was a whimper from Rodney's direction, revealing that he had indeed been listening to their conversation. When Teyla glanced over at him, he said wistfully, "You know, I'm much too smart to die in such a stupid way. It would negate every accomplishment I've ever made. I can see my tombstone clearly: Here lies Rodney McKay, killed by his own stupidity." 

Yet, despite his predictions of doom, Rodney kept working. His fingers flew over the keyboard of his laptop. 

John rolled his eyes, something Rodney couldn't see. He looked at Teyla. "We can swing by once we are in the clear, pick up you and Ronon, and then head out."

The HUD beeped and Rodney smiled. He bent to slide a control crystal into place in the open access panel he'd been working on, then exclaimed, "Aha!" 

Teyla straightened when she heard and saw the starboard engine pod extend to a certain point, but not fully. Her surprise reaction caused a stabbing pain in her side and she pressed her hand against her wound in an attempt to appease it. When she looked up at the others, she was relieved to see they hadn't noticed, because their attention was riveted on the HUD.

"I told you that would do it," Rodney said, gloating as he sat beside John, basting in his moment of glory. "It's about damned time something worked the way it's supposed to. I guess the odds finally worked in our favor." 

Then he frowned as he looked at his laptop. "But it looks like the pod didn't extend all the way. Teyla, can you confirm that for me?"

She nodded. "Yes, Rodney, it is extended, but not completely."

"Can you see what's – " John began as he moved to sit up. He cringed, putting a hand to his shoulder as he bent forward for a moment and he went a little paler. When he opened his eyes again, they barely contained the pain radiating from them. His voice was weaker when he gestured with his fingers and said, "Teyla, can you see what's preventing the drive pod from extending fully?"

"Give me a moment," she said as she stared at him for a moment before climbing down from her perch to look at the drive pod. 

She walked up and down the length of the extended pod, squatting down to look at the mechanism more closely. "In order to look at the mechanism itself, we will need to dig below ground level. It should be fairly easy to do with the loose soil, but it will take some time."

Rodney sighed. "Time is something we seem to have in abundance. Have Lurch give you a hand and report back when you're done."

Teyla had returned to her perch in front of the forward viewport when she looked at Rodney through the barrier separating them. "Lurch?"

John made a face of distinct irritation. "McKay," he started.

Rodney ignored him and looked to Teyla. "You know – the tall, dark, and brooding one. Where is he, by the way?"

Still unsure of who he was referring to, but she assumed it was Ronon, and answered, "Ronon is doing a perimeter search."

Rodney frowned. "For what?"

"Damn it, McKay, just let Ronon do what he needs to do! And stop calling him names," John snapped, cradling his shoulder more tightly. "One of these days, he's going to get pissed off over it and wipe you out of existence."

John took a deep breath. His face contorted in pain as he bent forward again. 

Teyla noticed it. It appeared John's pain medication was wearing off. Obviously, Rodney had noticed it, too, because he went back to his access panel without any further rebuttal, other than a quietly mumbled, "Fine." 

Silence stretched on for a long moment. She cleared her throat. "So, Rodney, do you think you will be able to escape the rubble and fly out or not?"

Rodney looked reluctant to agree, but he nodded, and then shrugged. "Yeah, as long as you and Ronon can see what the problem is with the starboard nacelle. I don't think we can rely on any power from the port nacelle – it's either too heavily damaged or buried – or a combination of both. All of our electrical problems have involved the port side, especially the panel that blew and knocked me out."

John moved the wrong way again and bit his lip, a low groan escaping this time before he could stop it. His eyes nearly closed, he let out a long breath and straightened as if nothing had happened, and said, "We can fly with just one drive pod. It will be difficult to navigate, but it can be done." 

She had learned to read the signs of John in pain long ago, but knowing them didn't change John's situation or make her feel any better about it. Rodney glanced over at John and his expression changed from analytical to concerned. He looked up at Teyla, pointing to John and raised a shoulder, mouthing the words, 'What do I do?' 

Teyla shrugged slightly and decided they needed to focus on the things they had control over and not dwell on the others. She shifted her focus to accommodate her decision and said, "Well, that is encouraging news. I will inform Ronon of your progress and see what we can do to resolve the starboard drive pod issue."

She started to climb down when Rodney said, "Progress? What progress? This is all theory at the moment. I'm not committing to this until I see numbers that supp– "

A stream of numbers appeared on the HUD, making John grin, despite his discomfort. "There's your confirmation, Rodney. Teyla, tell Ronon it's a go. We'll get things set here and let you know when we're ready to try it."

She nodded and left, climbing down. When her feet touched the soft soil at the bottom, she felt a wave of dizziness hit her. She grabbed the side of the jumper for support with one hand while the other went to her side. John and Rodney didn't need her infirmities, they needed her help. Besides, she told herself, just a little longer and they would be home again.

Home. She shook her head, more than a little confused. What was really home to her? The definition seemed to bounce back and forth, depending on her frame of mind and if she was thinking about the past or the present, but she didn't have time to dwell on it. She had to find Ronon and update him. As she came around the jumper, she spied Ronon moving out of the shadows toward her. 

"Ronon. Good news. It looks like John and Rodney might have a way to get the jumper clear of the rubble."

There was relief in his eyes, but he looked very tired, reminding Teyla the sooner they escaped this pit, the better it would be for everyone concerned. 

"That is good news," he said quietly. He glanced back into the shadows, drawing her attention. 

She straightened, sensing Ronon's quiet apprehension. "What is it?"

He chewed on his lower lip for a moment as his gaze darted east of them. "I thought I heard something earlier."

She put her hand on his arm and squeezed. "Try to relax. We will be out of here soon."

His eyes were still on alert, never stopping their sweeping motion around them, and Teyla knew he wasn't about to relax. He sighed and looked at her. "How long did they say?"

"They did not, but I got the feeling it would not be long. Why?"

He swallowed and looked up at the cloudy sky as rain began to fall again. "Because come sunset, I have a feeling your skree friends will show up for another visit."

Teyla looked at him, and then around the area. "Let us keep that between ourselves. John and Rodney have more than enough to deal with at the moment."

Ronon nodded. He let out a long breath. She wrapped her arm around his and pulled him a little. "Come, let us see if we can find out what's wrong with the starboard drive pod. It will not extend completely."

As they went to the drive pod, Teyla noticed Ronon's furtive glance dart around the area one more time. Ronon was worried. She prayed it was for nothing, but deep down she felt the same apprehension.

**oOoOoOoOo**

"Okay, guys, I guess we're almost ready to fire up the shields," Rodney said over the radio with more than a little uncertainty in his voice.

The rain had stopped. Teyla knelt at the stream, rinsing her hands. She was covered from head to toe with dirt and mud, so a little bit of washing seemed ridiculous, but she did it anyway. With Ronon's help, they had freed the starboard drive pod so that it was fully extended. She had a sense of accomplishment until she thought of John and quickened her pace. 

John's prolonged silence spoke volumes to her, making her worry as she climbed to her perch in front of the forward window. Her first glimpse of him confirmed her fears. He looked bad, even with another shot of morphine. 

Her voice was soft as she asked, "John, are you sure you do not need a little more time to recover? It's only been a few minutes since Rodney applied the healing salve." 

John shook his head, but it was a feeble gesture. Between the morphine, the poison in his system and his other injuries, John was going on sheer willpower alone. He cleared his throat and said, "I'll be fine. It's getting late. Those skree will be up and about soon. We've got to go now." 

Teyla tried to move on, but she was still disturbed by his appearance. He was more hunched over, almost slumped in the pilot's seat. He must have realized his awkward position, because he attempted to sit up. Rodney walked over and gave him a hand, and then was glowered at, instead of being thanked. Yes, John was definitely on the cranky side.

What was worse, he sounded weaker and there was a glistening of sweat on his ashen skin. Her heart went out to him, especially when she realized he was pushing himself so hard out of concern for them. She glanced up, cursing the dark sky above them. She decided to lie a little. "The sun is just now setting. We have some time."

John shook his head, his voice sounding rough as he said, "It will take a few minutes for you and Ronon to get into position."

Rodney stopped what he was doing and looked over at John. "Maybe Teyla's right. A few minutes won't matter that much – "

A hard glint came into John's eyes. "Look, I said I'm fine. Beside, you're the one who's dealing with a concussion. Are you going to take a break?"

Rodney blinked a few times and shook his head. "Well, no, I can't. There's too much to – "

"Exactly. Teyla and Ronon have done their part – they cleared the starboard drive pod. Now, you just need to finish what you have to do."

"But – "

"Get to work, McKay, so I can fly us the hell out of here," he growled. 

"Rodney, John, please," Teyla said in a calm firm voice. 

Rodney sighed deeply as he tried to calm himself. He clenched his fists as if to stop himself from strangling John, but then let them fall to his sides. Teyla gave him a sympathetic smile. Rodney was trying so hard to help, but some things, such as John's unyielding stubbornness, were beyond the best of Rodney's good intentions. 

John wiped a hand over his face, apparently trying to rein in his emotions. He went to raise his left hand to grasp one of the controls on the jumper's dashboard, but couldn't. He used his right hand to lift the left one up to where he needed it, and then moved the controls as if testing to see if he could in fact pilot the jumper. The expression on his face didn't reassure Teyla's concern.

Rodney turned to the access panel, but staggered and remained upright only because he was able to grab at the wall. John didn't see it happen. Rodney rubbed at the growing knot on his forehead for a moment, closing his eyes. The bruise was spectacular with a myriad of dark blues and purples. Teyla sighed. Rodney's condition was worsening the longer he worked. Finally, Rodney dropped his hand and connected a cable from the access panel to his laptop.

John looked up at Teyla. She could see determination shining in his eyes. "You and Ronon better head out. Just be sure you get a safe distance away from the jumper. If this hillside really lets go, you won't be able to outrun it."

Teyla was torn by indecision. She wanted to give the two more time to recover, but as she stared into John's expression, she could see he was fighting to stay upright. He would lose that battle soon. He knew it and she did, too. Then there was Rodney's deteriorating condition to add to the mix. If this was going to work, they had to act quickly.

"Very well. We will leave," Teyla said reluctantly. She looked at John. "Rest until we are in position."

Rodney grunted. "Right. Rest. As if we could."

There was a silence that followed as she climbed down the rocks, and it left a lot to her imagination as her mind's eye recreated a picture of what she could no longer see: Rodney tight-lipped as he worked as fast as he could and John fighting to stay upright and work the controls of the jumper. 

Ronon joined Teyla as she donned her backpack, and they silently headed out. Several minutes later, they followed a trail Ronon had scouted out earlier. John's voice came over the radio and it was only at that moment that she realized how long it had been without anyone speaking. 

"Ronon, be sure to head for the center of the sinkhole. It's probably the safest place if any of the sides of this thing start collapsing."

"Way ahead of you," Ronon replied. 

Rodney interrupted, sounding nervous. "Guys, save the chitchat for later. This little extravaganza is going to use up tremendous amounts of power – power we don't have in great abundance. Reversing the cloak to use as a mobile shield is about as far out there on hairball schemes as I can possibly imagine."

"But it will work," John said with confidence.

"Says you," Rodney said without any enthusiasm.

Ronon's gaze met hers and there was a slight sparkle of humor in his eyes. He shook his head as John continued, "Well, you'll have your moment of truth as soon as Ronon and Teyla are in place. I'm starting the pre-flight checklist."

Teyla glanced over at Ronon as they traveled toward the center of the sinkhole, remembering Ronon's earlier encouragement of hope. John often worked on the far edges of hope and determination, and succeeded time after time. Ronon called it being lucky and she'd told him it was being prepared. Rodney had said it a matter of the odds working in their favor. 

Whatever it was, she prayed it would hold out for them for a little longer. 

**oOoOoOoOo**


	10. Chapter 10

"Slowly dialing up the shield," Rodney said over the radio in a quiet tone, as if his words spoken in a louder tone would disturb the process – or maybe because it would hurt too much due to his head injury. Either way, it made for a strangely subdued Rodney McKay.

Teyla had arrived with Ronon at their destination at the center of the sinkhole. Now, all they could do was wait. The rain was coming down again, harder this time, and it was accompanied by lightning and thunder. She swung the beam of her flashlight around the area to reveal huge boulders, uprooted trees and lots of mud, giving the landscape some interesting topography. 

Ronon wiped the rainwater from his face and said, "This won't make much of a last stand if we need it, but it's the best we can do."

Rodney cleared his throat, sounding more like himself as he said, "I certainly hope you two are far enough away by now, because when I completely expand the shield, there's a very good chance that we'll bring this hillside down upon us, burying us for good."

John's sarcastic drawl came over the radio, drawing her attention away from Ronon. "You two are just a barrel of laughs."

"Well, it's true!" Rodney answered.

John chuckled. "And people say you have a gloomy disposition, Rodney. I just don't understand where that comes from."

Rodney grunted. "Go ahead, make fun of me now, because when I'm dead, I won't be around to be the butt of your adolescent humor anymore."

John paused a beat, then said, "Okay, Rodney, I promise if you die, I won't make you the butt of my jokes anymore."

"Oh, that's comforting. Please continue to confront me with my mortality as I frantically work to save our lives. Yeah, that will help keep my head clear and focused."

John chuckled. "The funny thing is, it usually does help. Impending doom begets seemingly miraculous life-saving measures from you. I don't understand it, but it works. Besides, if you pull this off, I foresee long hot showers, clean clothes, and trays full of food in the mess hall in your future."

"Hmm, that doesn't sound so bad. Actually, it sounds pretty damned good. Okay, on the off chance we don't kill ourselves with this madness, I'm going to keep extending the shield."

Teyla asked, "How long do you think it will take?"

Rodney sighed. "It's going slow...maybe ten more minutes."

John's enticing images of home, food and a long hot shower made Teyla yearn for the comforts of Atlantis and she tried to encourage Rodney. "It will be good to – "

A fierce howl cut through their conversation like an arc wielder through an aluminum can, fast and messy. Teyla's gaze whipped around as she sought to locate the howling skree. Before she caught sight of one, there were more howls, many more in fact and they were relatively close – that was if the echoes in the sinkhole were to be trusted. 

John said, "Damn it, Rodney, our timetable just got shoved up. It's time to stop fooling around and get down to business. We need to move now, or Ronon and Teyla will become kibble for those damned skree!"

Rodney stammered for a moment. "Like – like I was fooling around before! Look, basic physics cannot be rushed. Certain principles and protocols cannot just be speeded up."

John's voice was tight with worry. "We're talking about Teyla and Ronon's lives here. Move it faster or I'll just back us out of here – the hell with the shields."

"Damn it, Sheppard, I've said this before and I'll say it again, you are going to be the death of me! Hold on – just hold on for one blasted minute and let me do something that might speed things along a little. Okay, don't try this at home, kids, at least not without a brilliant astrophysicist present."

John didn't sound like he had much patience for Rodney's running banter. "You've got exactly thirty seconds before I start backing us out, ready or not."

Rodney cursed, saying something Teyla couldn't make out and again she tried for mediation. "Gentlemen, please. Do not act in haste. Ronon and I are both safe at the moment. We will be fine until you can pick us up."

She'd barely finished speaking when Ronon jumped down from the boulder and grabbed Teyla by the arm, then pushed her toward a huge uprooted tree. 

"They're here," he said gruffly as he fired his weapon, resulting in a pained yelp from one of the skree. Without looking at her, Ronon asked her, "Do you think you can climb that tree?" 

Teyla glanced at the tree and nodded. They had little other choice. 

"Just how close are they?" John asked.

Teyla began climbing. "It would seem your sense of urgency was valid, John. The skree are out early tonight," she said breathlessly as she steadied herself on one of the lower branches before she reached up to climb higher. 

"Crap," Rodney muttered. "Don't say it, Sheppard! Don't you dare tell me to work faster! I'm working as fast as I can, which, may I remind you, is several times faster than your average individual could ever dream of doing!"

"Yeah, yeah, we all know how fast you are working, McKay, but it's worth zilch if we can't get to Teyla and Ronon in time, so move it!"

"Damn you anyway," Rodney said, more emphatically this time. "I'm going as fast – Oh, wow."

"What?" John asked.

"Well, that certainly helped more than I thought it would. We might be almost out of here. Once again, the famed McKay genius has saved the day. No surprise there. Okay, the ball's in your court, Sheppard. Let's see how you do when the fate of this team rests squarely on your shoulders for a change."

Rodney paused as if he knew he had crossed some unspoken line. His tone was softer as he said, "Back us out of here slow and steady, but if I say stop, you sure as hell better listen to me."

"Yeah, yeah, I get the picture. Just leave the driving to me."

Meanwhile, Teyla and Ronon continued to climb. The tree Ronon had chosen for their sanctuary was several decades old, its foot thick branches easily supporting their weight. It was leaning against other trees that had fallen into the sinkhole, sitting at a sixty degree angle, like some giant set of pick up sticks. 

Huge bolts of lightning lit up the sky, allowing Teyla to easily glimpse the skree down below. They were now at the base of the tree, hopping and posturing from one nearby tree trunk to the next, up on a boulder and back down again. Some of the skree were starting to reach the lower branches. If one of them got up high enough with a good foothold on the smooth bark, they could conceivably scramble up the tree to follow Ronon and Teyla. 

"Ronon," Teyla called out, a few feet above Ronon's position. "I will release a flash-bang. Prepare yourself. On three. One. Two. Three."

She activated it and tossed it down to the ground, closing her eyes and covering her ears. The resulting explosion of light and sound produced a great deal of yipping and howling, and the skrees' rapid retreat.

"That worked pretty good. How many do you have left?" Ronon asked.

She grimaced as she patted her now empty pocket. "That was the only one I had."

"Don't worry. We're moving," John said, his voice sounding stronger than it should. "We'll be there soon, just hold tight."

"Careful, John," Rodney warned. "Having the shield between us and the rubble won't mean crap if you shake things up too much. Maintain a slow, easy backward momentum."

Ronon reached Teyla's position and paused to check his ammunition. The look on Ronon's face told her he was getting low. All she had was her 9-mil and a couple of extra clips. As if reading their thoughts, John asked, "How do things look there?" 

"We are relatively safe," Teyla said, putting a hand over her side. It felt like she had pulled something in her climbing. "How much longer will you be?"

Rodney practically growled at her. "We won't live long enough to get there if Sheppard doesn't slow down! I mean it, this shield isn't designed for fast or fancy moves. Back out slowly or we're dead!"

John fired back. "I've got it under control. Don't be a backseat driver."

While they argued, Ronon tapped Teyla on the shoulder. "You still have that C4?"

She nodded and reached to pull it out of her vest pocket, but flinched when she moved the wrong way. She leaned forward, trying to wrap herself around the wound in her side. Ronon put a hand on her shoulder. "Easy," he said softly.

She raised her head and nodded, and then pulled it out of her pocket. "Here it is. What do you have in mind?"

Ronon adjusted his position before holstering his weapon. "We can drop small charges away from the tree. Hopefully, it will keep them busy until Sheppard and McKay can get here."

She smiled weakly as she met his gaze. "It might work, though these skree are more tenacious than I remember from earlier encount–"

She froze when she heard Rodney call out, "Sheppard?"

The panicked tone in Rodney's words put Teyla on edge and she looked in their direction, knowing she couldn't see anything beyond twenty feet because of the darkness and the rain. Rodney's tone was lower as he said, "Sheppard, you don't look so good all of a sudden. Not that you were looking that great before..."

"I'm fine," John said, his voice graveled. "It's just taking a lot more concentration to do this than usual."

"Well, don't look at me to take over for you," Rodney said in response. "Between the anvil pounding in my head and the hoops I've got to jump through just to keep this jumper operational, I'm at my wit's end."

John sighed. "Did I say anything like that? Be quiet and let me get us the hell out of here."

Teyla swallowed, worried for John – worried for both of them. She turned to Ronon just as the skree swarmed on their position again. Teyla took the C4 and began forming small balls about an inch thick. She wiped the back of her hand across her chin as the accumulating rainfall running down her face irritated her and diverted her attention away from the mission at hand. 

"Hold these," she said, placing them into his outstretched hand.

She retrieved the blast caps and added them to the C4. "Okay," she said as she activated one and handed it to Ronon. 

He smiled as he said, "I'll throw, you detonate."

She nodded. With little effort, Ronon pitched the explosive away. Teyla watched it fall and detonated it when some of the skree came around it, sniffing. The area lit up with the blast, resulting in a few more of the skree down, but within moments the bulk of the pack was back, howling and growling.

"What was that?" John asked, alarmed.

Before she could answer, Rodney shouted, "Watch out, Sheppard! You're drifting!"

"I've got it. I've got it," John said, but he sounded weaker with each passing second.

"Maybe I _should_ be flying this thing," Rodney muttered, adrenaline causing his voice to quiver.

"Pipe down, I'm concentrating," John replied.

Teyla put all the calmness she could manage into her voice as she said, "Please, both of you, do not be alarmed on our behalf. We are using the C4 from my tac vest to keep the skree at bay. This will provide some additional time until your arrival."

"Oh, thank heaven," Rodney said and then he sighed. "There, Sheppard, now you can go a little slower. This whole thing will end badly if you don't slow down!"

"Not much further to go," John said, but the words came as if he were gritting his teeth together.

"Just because the jumper is – " Rodney's voice was cut off by a sizzling sound, and then an alarm. "Ouch!"

Teyla met Ronon's gaze. "Rodney?" she asked.

"Ouch! Shit! Damn it, that hurt!" Rodney cursed. 

"Rodney, are you okay?" John called out, his voice so tense it cracked at the end.

"Blasted access panel just tried to short out on me again. Honestly, Sheppard, I don't know how much longer I can keep ahead of this patch job I've done. Please don't rock the boat any more than you have to."

"Like I'm doing it on purpose."

A few of the more aggressive skree began jumping up on the tree trunks again, leaping from one to another trying to find the best way up, so Ronon released another C4 bomb, then Teyla aimed her flashlight down to the ground, and saw that some of the skree were now feeding on the carcasses of the dead pack members. She relaxed a little. It appeared they had a viable method to hold off the skree until John and Rodney could come to them.

"This should deter them a little longer," she said softly as she detonated the C4. 

It wasn't a big explosion, but Teyla knew something was wrong the moment the blast went off. It disturbed the loose soil underneath their tree enough to cause it to shift on its axis. Teyla and Ronon's weight on the upper branches of the tree became a liability, making it sway even more. Teyla dropped her flashlight and the detonator when the tree shuddered and shifted again. She frantically clutched the closest limb with icy fingers, and then she saw Ronon doing the same thing.

"Damn!" Ronon exclaimed as he held on as best he could to balance his weight between the branches with only one functioning hand. 

The rain-slicked surface of the tree made it difficult to grip and Teyla worried for Ronon. She reached out to steady him, but Ronon shook his head, waving her off. 

"I'm okay, but we better get climbing again. Without the C4, I don't know how long the skree will hang back before they decide to make another run at us."

Rodney practically shouted over the radio. "What? What happened now?"

"I will explain in a moment," Teyla said as she began climbing and tried to steady her breathing. 

Rodney muttered, "Damn, what else can go wrong?"

Teyla's hands shook from adrenaline and the cold rain. Weakness from her fever and infection probably factored into it, too, but she pushed away her human frailties and focused only on climbing to the next limb. Ronon stayed right behind her. When she reached what she felt was a safer position, she stopped and looked down. 

Sounds from the skree down below had grown significantly quieter. Lightning flashed again and Teyla could see the remaining skree feeding on the half dozen carcasses littered around the base of their tree. She looked over at Ronon and sighed as she held her side. 

Rodney had asked what else could go wrong. She decided she really wished he hadn't tempted fate further by asking.

oOoOoOoOo


	11. Chapter 11

"What the hell is going on there?" Rodney asked, concern taking some of the sting out of his words.

Teyla brushed back her wet hair from her forehead. "We had a scare, Rodney, and were forced to climb again. The tree we are in shifted and we lost the detonator to the C4, along with my flashlight."

"Shifted? Just how secure is your position?" John asked. 

"It's as safe as it's going to get, Sheppard," Ronon answered, hugging his broken arm close to his chest. Apparently, the cold was getting to him, too.

John said, "Hold on, we're almost done here – "

Rodney interrupted him with a huge sigh of relief. "Not almost. We are out from under the rubble! Hallelujah! Now it's just – "

Then Rodney's tone changed abruptly and he stammered, "Whoa, whoa, wait a sec, Sheppard, you still have to withdraw slowly until we can collapse the shield."

"I know, McKay! Tell me something I don't already know! Damn, it's a hell of a lot harder to fly this thing with only one engine and part of the shield still holding back thousands of tons of earth." 

John usually didn't bother with long excuses when he was involved in a crisis. Listening to him now caused Teyla's concern to blossom and she wondered how much longer he'd be able to continue. The night went white with a brilliant flash of lightning and was almost immediately followed by a series of thunderclaps that shook the air, and then the sky opened up and rain began to pour down in earnest. 

After a few more moments, Rodney said, "Okay, I'm shutting down the last vestiges of the shield and shifting it back to envelop the jumper and give maximum protection. Be ready. This thing will probably go when I'm done."

Right on cue, there was a huge rumbling. Rodney's voice was heard above it shouting, "Damn it, Sheppard, move! It's coming down now!"

"Going as fast as I can," John answered. 

Teyla felt a great whoosh of air rushing past them, probably caused by the mass of shifting earth, peppering them with tiny bits of dirt, even as far away as they were from the edge of the sinkhole. Another bolt of lightning erupted and Teyla was amazed to see the trail they'd just taken to the center of the sinkhole was now hidden by a fresh layer of dirt and mud that had surged forward like a collapsing wave. 

Rodney exclaimed, "My God, I think we actually survived."

He sighed with relief, and Teyla sighed right along with him, but then John said, "Don't relax yet. We've still got a couple of passengers to pick up. Be there in a second, guys."

He paused. "Okay, I'm picking up your life signs, but it would really help if you could light up a flare."

Teyla nodded and reached for the one she carried in her vest. "Understood."

The flare flashed to life, sparks spraying off it as it lit up the night with a bright red glow. Teyla waved it back and forth in the air to get John's attention.

"Gotcha!" John said, sounding suddenly rejuvenated.

The jumper's exterior marker lights came on and it was the most welcomed sight Teyla had seen in a long time. The jumper approached them rapidly and she dropped the flare to the ground to use as an added deterrent to the skree. Looking down, she gasped as she realized they still had a very big problem. 

Glancing at Ronon, she said quietly, "Ronon, we will have to go back down through the skree to get to the jumper."

Ronon glanced down and shook his head. "That's not gonna happen without a lot of help."

Teyla looked up at the jumper, seeing John and Rodney inside as they hovered in the air a dozen feet away from their position in the tree.

"Ah, hell," John said and Teyla knew John had just came to the same conclusion. 

She swallowed and looked at Ronon before glancing over to the jumper. "John, we are still safe enough for you to leave the sinkhole and go to get help."

She saw John shake his head. "No, we're not leaving you behind like this."

Teyla took a deep breath as she watched the jumper waver slightly while it hovered. "John, you are not abandoning us. You will be going to get the additional help we need to remedy this situation. Besides, none of us are in any shape to fight our way through this pack."

"We could – uh, we could..." John stammered.

Teyla softened her tone. "You are wasting time and energy you don't have to waste. Someone recently reminded me how futile that can be. Please, get us the help we require."

John didn't move and she knew he was fighting an internal battle, one that would inevitably lead to the same conclusion she'd already acknowledged. 

"John, you are injured, ill and pushing yourself too hard. If you do not leave soon, you will be unable to fly out of here and where will we be then?"

Nodding in agreement, Ronon said, "Just go, Sheppard. We'll be okay."

John still hesitated. "It doesn't feel right to just leave you here like this – "

"Whoa, guys, we've got us another whopper of a problem – as if the current plate isn't full enough," Rodney said, his tone frantic.

"What now?" John growled.

"We're losing power fast." He swallowed hard. "I told you using the shields like we did would eat up power. We have maybe five minutes before the engines are gonna shut down...maybe completely."

Teyla saw John glance at Rodney standing at the access panel behind him. Rodney's shoulders slumped as he held a hand to his forehead. He nodded. John sighed before straightening in his seat. "Okay, we'll be back as soon as we – "

One of the skree leapt from another tree and landed on the same tree trunk that Teyla and Ronon were clinging to. The beast was close enough for Teyla to see its extended fangs in detail. Ronon didn't hesitate. He fired right away, blasting the skree off the tree trunk. It went flying, but not before another one landed near where the first one had been.

"Crap!" John exclaimed. "What else do we have that we can use to drive these damned skree back?"

"A drone?"

John glared at him. "Yeah, right. A drone would almost certainly blast Teyla and Ronon out of the tree, if not kill them outright. Keep thinking."

"Light!" Rodney said as he snapped his fingers and limped over to the copilot's seat to flip some switches. "Don't know why I didn't think to use this earlier."

Teyla took aim and fired at the skree in front of her. Rodney's warning came a split second too late. "Better cover your eyes." 

Hot white light from the jumper nearly blinded her and she blinked to recover from it. She wasn't the only one affected by it. The remaining skree backed away from their tree with keening whines, but remained nearby.

"Damn it, I was sure that would run them off," Rodney said with disappointment.

"Maybe, we could – " John's brainstorming was cut off by Rodney. 

"Crap, our power levels are still dropping. If we are going to get Teyla and Ronon, we better do it fast!"

"I'm open to suggestions here," John answered harshly.

Rodney paced for a moment, then turned to John. "What about – what about opening the rear hatch and moving the jumper close enough for them to leap for the hatchway?"

John turned to glare at Rodney. "You are kidding me, right? Do you realize the finesse it would take to pull that off in this storm with only one functioning drive pod?"

Teyla silently added, _'Especially in John's current condition.'_

Rodney sighed and threw up his hands before he calmed himself and said, "John, it's the only way we can do this quickly. Get as close as you can and they'll have to jump over. It's either that or we leave them here!"

John looked from him to Teyla and Ronon. "Jump over? Ronon, can you and Teyla manage that?"

"Do we have a choice?" Ronon said gruffly.

"No, I guess not. Give me a few seconds to get into position," John said, his voice grim, as he maneuvered the jumper away and then backed up to the tree.

"McKay?" John asked as he finished.

"Yeah, I know, I've got the rear hatch." Rodney sighed. "Since when did I become your grunt?"

If John answered him, Teyla didn't hear it. She and Ronon were too busy trying to get to the best spot to attempt to leap from the tree. Something moved at the corner of Teyla's vision and Ronon fired in a fluid motion at the approaching skree. 

"Damned things keep trying to get closer," he muttered as he holstered his weapon.

He looked at her. "You jump first and I'll cover you, and then you and McKay can cover me when I go."

"You could go first – " Teyla began.

Ronon shook his head. "No, let's face it, you're not up to much more. Like you just said to Sheppard – you're sick, injured and at the end of your rope. This is what we're going to do. You jump first, that way I can help you from this end and McKay can help you on the jumper."

Teyla chewed on her lip and nodded, though she hated doing it. There was no time for arguments, no time for anything but a last ditch attempt to board the jumper and fly out of the sinkhole, or wait it out and pray John and Rodney could contact Atlantis quickly enough for a rescue to come in time. 

The rear hatch opened up and Rodney flinched at the wind and rain that came streaming in at him. There was a huge flash of lightning, and then the air around them rumbled with thunder. Rodney cursed at the sky and wiped at the rainwater on his face before he waved them on.

Teyla gathered herself and stood as much as she could with Ronon steadying her arm. The base of the hatch door was about four feet away, but the jumper kept veering, first listing to one side and then the other. She heard Rodney shout, "Damn it, Sheppard, if this is going to work, you've got to keep the jumper steady!"

"Just do it," was all the response John gave him. "Can't keep this up forever."

When Teyla's gaze went into the forward compartment, John was turned in his seat, looking back at them. Nodding at him, she looked at Ronon and said, "I am ready."

In the next instant, she leapt. There was a flash of fear as she was mid-air over twenty feet of empty space, but then her feet landed on the ramp. She started to roll, but the jumper dipped to one side, nearly throwing Teyla off the ramp. Rodney grabbed her left arm and struggled to hold her in place while she caught hold of one of the ramp's supports with her right hand. 

Her side screamed in agony, but she tried to ignore the pain, just as she tried to ignore her legs dangling over the edge of the ramp, but it didn't work. Dark spots blended with flashes of light behind her closed eyes as she strove to maintain consciousness. She couldn't catch her breath, which didn't help, and then her hand started slipping from the ramp support.

Somehow, Rodney found his footing and grabbed the back of her tac vest. He hauled her the rest of the way into the rear compartment using all of his weight as leverage. They collapsed in a pile on the floor. Teyla tried to breathe normally, but all she did was take in large gasps of air, still needing more.

"Damn it!" John exclaimed.

He managed to right the jumper and glanced back at them with concern. He turned forward again and seemed to slump forward in his chair a little. Teyla shook uncontrollably and Rodney threw a blanket around her before standing. He looked at Ronon, rubbing his forehead as he said, "Okay, big guy, it's your turn. Make it fast. I don't think Sheppard's gonna last much longer."

"Says you," John said as he took a deep breath, then added, "This thing needs a rearview mirror."

"It's not exactly a Winnebago," Rodney quipped grimly and waved Ronon on.

Ronon nodded and jumped just as the sky went bright with lightning and the jumper tilted about thirty degrees to the right. For a moment, Teyla wasn't sure if Ronon was going to make it, or if the jumper was about to crash. Gravity pulled her and Rodney to one side of the compartment. John corrected it. Ronon made a rolling landing into the rear compartment, narrowly avoiding her and Rodney, as if that was what he'd planned to do all along. 

Rodney didn't hesitate. He got back to his feet before Ronon had stopped moving and hit the rear hatch control to close it. Ronon grimaced, holding his arm and nodded to Teyla as he lay on the floor of the compartment. Rodney went past them, making a run for the forward compartment. 

"Take care of each other," he said as he left, "I've got a couple things on the stove at the moment and either one of them could go at any time."

Teyla clutched at the blanket around her shoulders, drawing it closer, but it didn't seem to provide any warmth. The pain in her side eased some, but she was still about as miserable as she'd ever been. As she looked over at Ronon, she saw him shivering and put the blanket over him, placing a hand on his arm and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'll live," he said through gritted teeth.

Ronon looked behind them into the forward compartment as he got to his knees. Teyla followed his gaze. Rodney was there beside John, his hands outstretched as if he was trying to decide if he should fly the jumper or not, but then there was a spray of sparks coming from the port access panel and the ship lurched to one side again.

"Crap!" Rodney cursed as he disappeared from sight, apparently going to the port access panel.

Teyla tried to get to her feet, but faltered. When she looked up, Ronon was there with a hand to help her up. Together, they entered the forward compartment. Once there, she noticed John hadn't said anything for a while. As Teyla stepped toward the copilot's seat, her breath caught. John's skin tone was ash white and he didn't seem aware of their presence, at least until he said, "Okay, this ship's going up."

He spoke through gritted teeth, taking a deep breath as he angled one control up while accelerating with the other. Teyla sat down in the copilot's seat watching him while Ronon stood behind her. John was sweating heavily from the exertion. Rodney was doing something inside the access panel. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as the jumper lurched forward, and then it spun off to one side, grazing some fallen trees. 

Teyla felt Ronon grab hold of her seat before he plopped down into the seat behind her. The inertial dampeners were working so the spinning of the jumper didn't seem so bad until Teyla looked out the forward viewport and became nauseated from the dizzying view. 

Teyla glanced to one side and saw John hunched over the dash, determination in every muscle on his face. "Going up," he said again with more force.

They were close to the edge of the sinkhole by then, all they needed to do was rise out it, but there was too much forward momentum and the jumper's starboard drive pod nicked the edge, causing a small avalanche. Teyla saw the debris falling and looked back at John, and then at Rodney.

Rodney was up to his elbows in wiring and crystals. How he was able to keep working while the world was spinning around them amazed Teyla, but something happened and he grunted. "Yes!" he shouted and looked at them.

"I corrected the spin as much as I can, but power is bottoming out. We need to get to the surface fast."

John nodded and the jumper began to rise, but it was still close to the outer edges of the sinkhole and kept clipping the edge with the drive pod. "Come on, Sheppard, you said you could fly. I did better than this on the teacup ride at Disneyland... and I was only five."

Teyla saw the muscles in John's jaw twitch with tension and then they were rising again. For the first time in nearly two days, they saw the surface. Rodney let out a bellow of relief, but then put a hand to his head and the other to the wall, but missed the wall. 

"Uh, more than a little dizzy here..." Rodney whispered, his knees buckling.

Ronon jumped to his feet and caught Rodney before his head hit the floor, cursing from the pain the movement caused his arm, but Rodney never heard it. Teyla looked at Rodney just as his head rolled to one side, unconscious, and then at John. John's knuckles were white on the jumper's controls and she reached out with her hand. "It is okay, John, we are on the surface. You did it."

John shook his head, turning toward Rodney. The jumper listed to one side as he moved. Teyla's hand moved to cover his and corrected the tilt with a gentle squeeze. He glanced in her direction, his gaze unfocused. "Have... to... land," he whispered.

Teyla looked down below, trying to find a clearing, but all she saw was darkness. Glancing up at the HUD, she could see there was forest ahead of them, the lake to one side and a mountain to the other. There was no way they could go back the way they'd just come. Then there was a huge flash of lightning and she saw it, a small clearing, barely big enough for the jumper to land.

She looked at the HUD one more time to get oriented. She pointed into the darkness. "There, John, there is a place."

He squinted as if he had a hard time seeing it on the HUD. He nodded finally. They moved in the right direction and were almost there when John turned his head toward Rodney again. "Sorry... can't fly... gonna – " he whispered and then he fell forward, unconscious.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	12. Chapter 12

Teyla leapt forward, trying to correct their sudden plummet, using John's hands on the controls to make the adjustments, but there was only so much she could do from her angle. John's head leaned against her back like dead weight. She was frightened for him, but her primary concern at the moment was to keep the jumper from crashing.

"Ronon," she called.

"What happened?" Ronon asked as he got to his knees after the jumper's unexpected nose dive had knocked him down.

She spared a glance and saw that Rodney was unconscious, too. Cursing under her breath as she struggled to fly in a straight line, she said, "I need some help. John has passed out."

"Great, the only two people on board with the Ancient gene and they're both unconscious," Ronon muttered as he got to his feet.

"I do not know how John has managed to fly as well as he did. This is almost impossible." She took a deep breath to steady her rapid breathing. Her hands were shaking, probably from being soaked to the bone and the adrenaline rush. If they were to survive, she had to remain calm. "Put your hand over John's left hand on the acceleration control. Take over when I move my hand away and hold it steady. I cannot continue to reach across him like this – "

"Why don't I just move him out of the way?"

"Because we still require his ATA gene to pilot the jumper."

"Oh yeah, right. Okay, move your hand, I'm ready to go," he said simply, then muttered a Satedan curse under his breath as the jumper's propulsion shuddered unexpectedly. He looked over at her in surprise. "Sheppard makes this look so easy."

Teyla nodded and looked at the HUD again, trying to gauge the distance to the clearing. They were moving much too fast. "Reduce speed, Ronon. I am going to take us down," she said as she began to move the control in her hand.

Ronon pulled back on his control and brought them to a near halt as Teyla began the jumper's descent. Some alarms and flashing lights started going off, and the HUD in front of them changed and began displaying a mass of new information. Teyla glanced at it, assessing it quickly, though she didn't like what she saw. 

"What's going on?" Ronon asked.

From what she could understand, the powers levels were almost flat-lined – which meant they needed to land right away. The clearing was only a few seconds away. They were almost there. 

"We are out of power. Pray it lasts long enough for us to land," she said quietly as she continued their descent, but then she glanced at the HUD again and saw the jumper's automatic failsafes were diverting all remaining power to the inertial dampeners in an effort to minimize impact. 

She barely had time to say, "Brace yourself," before the HUD vanished and the view of the dark forest below rushed up at them. The jumper went through low level trees, its surface besieged by trees of all shapes and sizes. It wasn't going to be a pretty landing, but she didn't care as long as they survived.

The next thing Teyla knew, she was sprawled across the DHD on the forward console between the pilot's and copilot's seats. The position made her side flash with pain just as brightly as any lightning bolt they'd seen outside. She pushed herself away from the console, staggering to her feet. Her horizon tilted and she just managed to plop into the copilot's seat before her knees gave out.

Pressing her hand to her side, she squeezed her eyes shut and rode out the pain as best she could, but then she realized there were alarms still sounding. They were on emergency lighting, which gave the cockpit a darker cast. Smoke was heavy in the air, though she couldn't see any fire. Her head pounded and it fogged her thinking, but then she caught sight of the others and everything clarified. 

John was crumpled in the foot well under the pilot's seat. Ronon was in a heap on the floor beside him. Rodney had slid forward with the impact and was lying at Ronon's feet. None of them were moving. She started to stand to move toward them, but the acrid smoke filling the jumper made her cough. This time, she thought she'd pass out from the pain that followed, but didn't.

After a few moments, the alarms died down, and then went silent. She wondered if the power levels were so low the alarms couldn't sound any longer, but they had emergency lighting, so something was still working. 

She suppressed the urge to cough, but it was getting harder to breathe. She needed to get some fresh air into the jumper and the fastest way she knew to do that was to open the rear hatch. She staggered to her feet, stepping around the unconscious bodies of her teammates. She had to put her hand to the wall as she went and made her way to the controls for the rear hatch. With the power gone, she had to blow the rear hatch to open it. She pulled down on the hatch release. Even though she prepared herself for it, she was still startled when the door flew off into the night with a mighty blast.

The storm wasted no time, coming in through the open hatchway with a strong gust of cold rain, a nasty reminder of what they'd endured all day, but Teyla welcomed its presence because it helped to revive her. She turned back toward the cockpit and the others, intending to see how they were, but a wave of dizziness hit her hard. 

She put out a hand to the bulkhead to steady herself as she took a few more steps into the forward compartment, but then she had to hang on when the dizziness worsened. She slid down the wall, struggling to stay awake, but finally gave up the battle and passed out.

**oOoOoOoOo**

Teyla opened her eyes to see Ronon's furrowed brow looming over her. She stared at him, wondering why he looked so bad. His clothes were wet and muddy, and he was bleeding from a cut on his face.

"What is it?" she asked as she started to sit up, and the sleeping bag covering her body started to slide down from her shoulders. Pain from her side pounded in time with the pain in her head. She put a hand on Ronon's arm and squeezed it as she tried to ride out the discomfort. Her head dropped back to the deck and she took in shallow rapid breaths.

He leaned closer. "Breathe slow and deep," he said softly as he patted her on the shoulder.

For a moment, her thoughts were of Charin, because Charin had said those very words to her following her skree attack. In a flash, everything came back to Teyla. She closed her eyes as the memories cascaded across her thoughts. She released her hold on Ronon's arm and looked around. 

The jumper was sitting with a pronounced tilt to the port side. John was lying on the deck beside her in the forward compartment. He was on her left and Rodney was on her right with Ronon kneeling in the limited space between her and Rodney. Both Rodney and John were covered with unzipped sleeping bags just as she was.

The greenish glow from the emergency lights inside the jumper gave everything a surrealistic cast. She raised her head a little, but Ronon put a hand to her shoulder. "Careful. You're bleeding again. Not quite as bad as it was on Andonda, but it's not good. You must have hit your side again when we crashed."

He pulled back the sleeping bag a little to show her the field dressing wrapped around her mid-section. The bandage was stained red with blood. 

He smirked. "We suck at being pilots, but don't tell McKay that. He's never going to let us live this down."

"Well, it did not help that we were without the ATA gene or power," she said as she shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position. She noticed her jacket and boots were off.

She sniffed the air and caught the distinct scent of senta plant. Ronon gestured with his head to the remnants of the used senta plant stalks piled up in one corner. "Yeah, I used the last of the senta plant on you and Sheppard. Your fever was really high."

The air felt very cold and damp, or maybe it was just her fever at work. It didn't help that they were so exposed to the bad weather, because of the opened hatch. Then again, they could be out in the worst of it, instead of inside the jumper, so Teyla was grateful for what little protection they did have. 

Ronon rocked back on his heels and looked at the rear of the jumper. "You must have managed to blow the rear hatch before you passed out."

She followed his gaze and listened the storm still going on outside. "Yes, there was a lot of smoke in the cabin, probably from that same damaged access panel. Without sufficient power, I was afraid we might succumb to smoke inhalation."

"You left a trail of where you went," he said quietly. 

She looked at him, puzzled, then saw the blood smeared on the wall in the shape of her hand print and what was dripped across the floor like paint splatterings on one of those modern art paintings she'd seen from Earth. At least the blood loss explained why she felt so tired. Glancing down, she saw her hands were stained with dried blood. How could she not have noticed it earlier? Her side ached and she pressed a hand against it, shuddering when she moved the wrong way. Ronon went to pat her hand and found it shaking. He sighed and tucked the sleeping bag tighter around her, pausing as he watched her with greater concern.

"Don't go into shock on me," he said softly.

"I will not. I am merely chilled," she assured him.

Despite her assurances, he frowned and gathered the three backpacks lying about and stacked them one on top of the other. He lifted her feet and drew the backpacks under her legs, so they were elevated, and then tucked the sleeping bag in more tightly around her. 

He glanced back at her. "Just to be safe."

He scratched at the back of his neck. "I wish I could build a fire or something to get you guys warmer. I figured the sleeping bags would be better than just a blanket. It's not much, but it's the best I could do."

She nodded. "It was a very good idea."

She drew the sleeping bag closer around her, searching for some semblance of warmth, but then stopped, looking at John and Rodney. "How are they?"

Ronon went to a squatting position and let out a long breath. "McKay makes noises every once in a while like he's starting to come around, but hasn't so far."

"And John?" Teyla asked.

Ronon shook his head. She sighed softly as she reached out from under her sleeping bag to touch John's forehead with the back of her hand. She swallowed and looked up at Ronon. "He needs medical attention."

Ronon nodded. "We all do. That's why I'm going to make a run for the gate."

Teyla frowned. "But you are weary, injured, and in pain, too. We should try to dial Atlantis first."

"Already did. Several times," he said with a sigh. "No answer."

Teyla's eyes widened with the information, mostly because she hadn't been aware of any of it. She licked her lips. "How long was I unconscious?"

"For at least a few more hours after I woke up...and I don't know how long I was out. I figure it's got to be about two or three in the morning."

The information disturbed her as it further emphasized her declining health. She pushed her disquiet aside and asked, "Then the communications array was damaged?"

"Or there wasn't enough power for the signal to go out. There's no way to know for sure since I didn't get a response. I better get moving."

She glanced out the rear hatch, listening to the rain pounding outside in the darkness. "Are you sure about this, Ronon? The weather is quite bad and it is still night. Traveling under those conditions would be hazardous for one who was rested and well, but someone in your shape is – "

"No choice. Like you said, Sheppard needs medical attention." He stood with effort and reached into an overhead compartment, pulling out a large flashlight. "I was just waiting until one of you were awake or daylight, whichever came first. You're up, so it's time to go."

She looked up at him and sighed. "I do not like the idea of us splitting up."

He squatted down beside her. "It won't be for very long."

She put her hand on his thigh. "Do you know which direction to take to the gate?"

He nodded. "I got a good look at the heading we were taking when we went down. I figure it will take me at least a few hours, maybe longer in the dark."

She rubbed her fingers over one temple, trying to decide if they were considering the best course of action. Finally, she looked at him with reluctant resignation. "You will have to cross some hilly terrain to get to the gate from where we are. That will not be easy."

He smiled back at her with a confidence that reminded her of John. "I'll be fine. Just take it easy. Watch over them. I'll go as fast as I can."

"I know you will," she said softly, reaching up to take his hand, squeezing gently. "But be careful. If something happens to you, none of us will be able to help you."

He squeezed back and said, "Not gonna happen. See you soon."

He stood and turned on the flashlight, heading out into the darkness. He glanced back once and gave her a quick grin before he disappeared from sight.

**oOoOoOoOo**

Though Teyla tried to stay awake, she drifted in and out of unconsciousness for a while, unable to gauge time in the predawn hours, but each time she checked on Rodney and John, neither stirred in the slightest. She finally decided it was for the best, because if they were awake, they would be trying to move and that wouldn't be good for any of them.

She swallowed and straightened her shoulders, determined to stay awake, but her eyelids drifted shut despite her good intentions. She heard some familiar humming and glanced in front of her. She gasped when she found Charin sitting there, her back against the bulkhead with her legs folded in front of her, just watching her. She looked so real, so very Charin.

With Teyla's reaction, Charin raised her head, staring at Teyla and said, "Teyla, what have you done to yourself now?"

"Charin?" Teyla asked cautiously, knowing she had to be dreaming or hallucinating, but deep down she didn't care. It felt so very good to see her dear friend full of life again.

The old woman frowned and pointed a finger at her. "I thought I taught you to take better care of yourself. Even with the senta plant, your fever rages. I fear infection has set in."

Tears welled in Teyla's eyes and she ignored Charin's chiding. "Charin, I have missed you," she whispered, her voice breaking with emotion. 

"I know," Charin said quietly, "but do not upset yourself further. Your tall warrior friend will be back soon with help. Just hold out until he returns."

"No, I have to tell you something," Teyla said in a rush, "before you leave me and my feverish state. I know – I know you are not real, but my heart needs to say how much I love you, how deeply you affected my life, and how grateful I am for having known you."

Charin just smiled at her. "I have always known those things, child. They were never in question. Just as you know I loved you in the same way."

Teyla took a deep breath, and something unsettled deep in her spirit began to relax with Charin's words. She shook her head as she tried to keep from breaking down, but failed as tears started trailing down her cheeks. "I have missed you a great deal lately."

Teyla wanted to reach out and touch Charin, wanted to feel her warming embrace around her shoulders one more time, but she knew deep down if she did, the illusion would end and that was something Teyla wasn't ready for just yet.

Charin straightened her skirt, smoothing out unseen wrinkles with her fingers like she was deep in thought. When she looked up at Teyla, her gaze was penetrating, as if she were looking deep into Teyla's soul. "Life is for living, for appreciating the good things we have with us. While we can grieve the dead, they are gone, and we must accept that, but never let the past rob the present of the future. That is what you have been doing... letting the past steal from your present." 

Teyla's lower lip trembled. "I have seen so much death lately, Charin. Not that I haven't weathered death before. Our lives on Athos were not easy ones."

"Part of life is dealing with death."

"Yes, and I have dealt with it many times before – losing my mother, then my father and so many of our people. Even after we came to Atlantis, we saw death, especially during the Wraith's siege on Atlantis. We lost many that day. But never before have I felt such a profound sense of grief."

"Why do you think that is?"

Teyla frowned, searching for the answer to Charin's question, knowing if she could explain it, then she could know what had been plaguing her for the past month. Finally, she looked up at her and shook her head. "I do not know. I have missed you... the time is approaching for your memorial tea ceremony, perhaps that is why you have been on my mind."

"Why me? Why not your father? Why not another?"

Teyla's gaze caught Charin's. "I miss – I miss your quiet, steadfast guidance. I could always turn to you for insight."

"And what made that guidance so needed recently?"

Teyla sighed, closing her eyes. "I lost some friends in a series of accidents on Atlantis. My friend, Dr. Sherri Hewston, along with some other unfortunates, but...but the hardest loss was Carson Beckett – "

Her voice broke and she had to swallow hard to compose herself. There was a silence that Charin filled. "I remember Dr. Beckett. He was a kind and caring soul. I also remember you looked to him for guidance, too, didn't you?"

Teyla nodded. "He was there for me so much after you passed on. Always checking on me to see if I needed to talk or just needed someone to be with. It was so strange to awaken the night after my surgery to find out he was dead. It didn't seem real. I remembered vividly how he cared for me after I was injured. He was there before the surgery and I have vague remembrances of him afterward seeing how I was. All of Atlantis grieved for him."

"But your grief continued?"

Teyla looked away, then nodded. "Atlantis needed to return some sense of normalcy, so many of us resumed our daily activities. I had even returned to off world missions."

"But you were not ready?"

"I thought I was."

"Something happened?"

"Yes. More death. More injury."

"And your need for guidance only grew."

Teyla nodded. Her tears fell anew. 

"And Dr. Beckett was not there for you this time."

Teyla's shoulders shuddered with Charin's acknowledgment, but no new tears fell. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to steady her breathing so she wouldn't start sobbing. When the silence grew longer, she gained some control. She opened her eyes to see Charin watching her with a knowing gaze. "Are you ready to hear some of my guidance now, child?"

Teyla nodded. "Yes."

"Do not let the past use up too much of today. Go, live, and do not dwell on the dead. It is not what I would want from you, nor do I think Dr. Beckett would wish it, either. Am I right?"

Teyla looked away and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes.

"Live the life you were destined to live, my dear Teyla. That is all I ask of you."

Charin continued, "Draw strength from those around you, just as you did with me and Dr. Beckett. The members of your team are special people, each filled with a strength you can rely upon. Use them as your mentors now."

Teyla took a deep breath and spied her necklace spilling from the pocket of her nearby jacket. She pulled it out, drawing a finger along its carved surface and nodded. "It is said we draw strength from those we have loved long after they are gone, Charin. From those I have known, especially you, I will never be without strength." 

She looked up at Charin and smiled sadly. "Maybe there is power in this necklace after all."   
  
Charin leaned the back of her head against the bulkhead, looking at Teyla closely. "Perhaps. Or maybe you found the needed strength from being back on Athos again?" 

As Teyla considered Charin's comment, the old woman took a deep breath and pinned her in place with a glance. "Or perhaps this strength was inside of you all along and only needed help to coax it to the surface?" 

Charin smiled in that way only Charin could, her eyes sparkling with life. Charin's resilience, combined with the truth in her words, caused Teyla's tears to begin anew, but the tears felt healing in nature this time as they cut clean swaths through the smudges of dirt on her face. 

Charin motioned gently with her fingers and said, "Life is like a river, flowing around us, carrying us along with its ever shifting current. Sometimes, it's treacherous, sometimes peaceful. We are not alone in this river. There are others here, too. Those who have gone before us teach us how to traverse the river more easily. Those who come after us will learn from our knowledge. That is how we move through life's waters. Be grateful for it, for without the river's momentum, we would become stagnant and never experience all there is to know."

She paused, giving Teyla that penetrating gaze again and said, "If you focus on what is behind you, you will miss all that is to come... and knowing you, there is much yet to come."

Teyla smiled at Charin's words, though she felt herself weakening. Her dream/hallucination was drawing to an end, even as she railed to remain within its embrace. "I love you, Charin."

Charin's smile was so poignant this time, it almost hurt Teyla to gaze upon it, but the pain seemed unimportant as the old woman whispered, "Time changes many things, child, but never our love."

With that heartwarming thought, Teyla's fingers clutched her necklace more tightly, a yearning for an impossible conversation now sated as she drifted away to unconsciousness.

**oOoOoOoOo**

A low moan escaping from her lips brought Teyla awake. She had a hand pressed to her side even before her eyes were open.

"Teyla, you okay?" she heard in a weak tone.

When she glanced to her left, she saw John watching her with concern. She straightened and smiled. "John, it is good to see you awake."

"It's good to be awake," he said, his voice hoarse and tired. He swallowed, looking at her hand still held to her side. "Are you in pain? You were crying in your sleep."

She inhaled slowly. "No, it wasn't that. I was dreaming of Charin." 

She realized John was right, though, because her cheeks were wet with tears. Putting a hand to her face, she wiped them away, and then closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the dream and was strangely warmed by the dear memory. When she opened her eyes, she saw her necklace peeking out of her nearby jacket pocket, just as it had been in her dream. With a sigh, she picked it up and brushed its cold surface against her cheek.

"You okay?" John repeated.

She nodded, her thoughts still on Charin.

"How about some more Tylenol? You look like you're hurting," John said as he reached for the medical kit. 

He hissed when he moved the wrong way, and put his right hand over the left side of his chest, as if to protect it from further movement. "Damn," he whispered.

The medical kit was closer to her, so she extended her hand and picked it up. As she opened it, she asked, "How are you feeling?" 

"Like I crashed and burned," he said with a grunt, closing his eyes for a moment, revealing the extent of his discomfort, before he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

She reached out and touched his hand. "The burnt feeling is because your fever rising again. How is your shoulder?"

He winced as his hand drifted higher to the bite itself. After a moment, he pulled his hand away, as if it couldn't tolerate the physical contact. "It's still there."

She held the medication and water out to him. 

He shook his head and gestured with his fingers. "You first."

Teyla sighed softly and took the medication to avoid a debate that neither of them had the energy for, and then removed a second dose for him, along with the canteen Ronon had left beside her. He swallowed the tablets without comment as his gaze darted around the area, and she could see the moment he shifted his attention away from himself. "Where's Ronon?"

She glanced out the rear hatch. "He went to the stargate to summon help."

John nodded. "Thought so."

He looked around and frowned. "I take it we crashed."

She nodded. "Yes, but it was not your fault. We ran out of power."

John's forehead scrunched up, as if disturbed with the information or maybe his lack of memory regarding the incident. He glanced out the rear hatch. Teyla followed his gaze. The rain had stopped and the clouds cleared, now the sun was beginning to peek over the mountains and down through the trees. The sight made her sigh with relief. 

"At least the weather's better," he said, echoing her thoughts.

He shifted and asked, "When did Ronon leave?"

Teyla frowned, trying to remember exactly when Ronon had left, but she had no time reference to go by. "Sometime during the night."

John looked a little concerned and he raised his head, as if trying to get a better look out the hatch doorway. "He should be back by now, don't you think?"

Teyla swallowed and rubbed a knuckle above her eye, trying to ease her pounding headache. "We are still a good distance from the gate. He will be here soon."

They both fell silent for a moment, but it was a comfortable silence until he glanced over at her. "I'm sorry you didn't get the trip you had planned."

Teyla took a deep breath as she thought, then she surprised him by smiling at him. "Maybe it was for the best. I do not think I would feel the same sort of resolution that I have now."

He raised an eyebrow at her, so she explained, "I had thought that I would feel closer to Charin by visiting the places where she had lived, but I neglected to keep in mind that she is no longer there in those places. She has moved on and lives only in my heart. The same goes for Carson. Lingering in the infirmary will never bring him walking through its doors."

John's gaze saddened with her mention of Carson, but then he nodded. Again, there was a silence, but not as comfortable this time. Teyla leaned closer to John. "I told you I came looking for something I had lost... some type of healing to deal with the grief I was feeling. While I still miss Charin, and my grief for Carson is still strong, my perspective has changed – mostly because even after all that we have been through, we are still alive. We are still around to live for another day, and we have another day to appreciate what might have been lost. In that realization, I guess you could say I have found what I had been looking for."

He quirked his head to one side. "And what was that?"

"It was hope. It was not letting yesterday take up too much of today. It is appreciating the love of the people I still have around me."

"I swear, Teyla, if you get any sappier, I think I'll puke," Rodney said with a groan, a hand going to his forehead.

"Rodney," Teyla said with a smile.

"Yeah, it's me. Just why the hell are we lying here instead of in the infirmary at Atlantis?"

John said, "Relax, Ronon's on his way to get some help."

"If they aren't here now, then it's not nearly fast enough," Rodney said, looking around. "What happened to the jumper?"

"We crashed," John replied with a sarcastic smile. "Geez, for someone with the IQ you have, that's a pretty stupid question."

"Forgive me for being impaired by a head injury. Besides, some pilot you are to crash the jumper like this," Rodney muttered. "You know, you don't have the best track record when it comes to crashing jumpers – "

Teyla straightened her shoulders. "He was not piloting it at the time. I was."

Rodney's mouth dropped open and John raised an eyebrow. "How the hell did you do that?" John asked. "You don't have the gene."

Teyla smiled at their surprise. "I remembered the story you told about the last surviving Wraith on that crashed Wraith supply ship, and how he threatened to use the hands of your dead body to fly off that planet, so we kept your hands on the controls and did the best we could. We were almost to a point where we could land when we ran out of power."

Rodney rubbed a hand over his face. "You get a point for ingenuity, but two points off for crashing anyway."

There was a noise outside, and then Teyla saw Ronon leading Lorne, Keller and other medical personnel to the entrance to the jumper. Teyla sighed with relief, then she let her head drop back. John and Rodney made several comments to the arriving personnel, but Teyla didn't pay attention to them. 

She carefully tucked her necklace into the pants pocket of her BDUs and closed her eyes as the people filled the jumper. For the first time since the sinkhole collapse, she felt like she could really relax. When she did, she could barely keep her eyes open, so she gave into the gentle nudge of slumber and dropped off into a deep sleep.

**oOoOoOoOo**


	13. Chapter 13

Teyla awoke, hearing hushed voices nearby. When she cracked open an eyelid, she saw Dr. Keller standing a short distance away with Ronon. Ronon looked tired, but at least he wasn't covered in mud and dirt any longer. His broken arm was in a cast and he cradled the immobile limb with his other as he asked, "Why haven't Sheppard and Teyla woke up yet? It's been a whole day."

Keller had a patient tone in her voice. "Teyla has awakened – not for very long periods at a time, but she's been awake. You have to remember, Ronon, she had surgery to repair her injury and she's fighting a nasty infection. She needs her sleep. She lost a lot of blood and while the transfusions have helped, it will take her a while to recuperate."

Keller sighed as she looked over at John's bed where John lay motionless. His pale skin almost faded into the white pillowcase under his head. The physician continued, "Colonel Sheppard has, along with three cracked ribs, had to deal with the effects of a deadly poison in his system and a severe infection of his own. He's in a very deep sleep state, which is very understandable. It will all take time, but I have every reason to believe they will both make full recoveries." 

Then Rodney said from across the room, "What about me? Does anyone care about me? I went through a hell of a lot, too, you know."

Keller gave Rodney a weary smile as she approached him. "Yes, you did, but if you continue to improve, you can go back to your quarters tomorrow. Unfortunately, Teyla and the Colonel will be with us a little longer."

"Yes, yes, I heard, full recoveries and all." He sighed, then said, "Good Lord, Ronon, could Keller have given you a bigger cast?"

Ronon glanced down at the cast that went from just below his shoulder all the way down his arm to include his wrist, then shrugged.

"It was a bad break at a bad place," Keller said in her defense. "Besides, Ronon likes to..." she paused before continuing, "likes to be rather rambunctious in his activities. This cast will ensure the broken limb gets its best chance at healing properly."

Rodney grunted, then whined, "Whatever. Tell me this – why does my foot hurt more than my head if it's my head that's keeping me in here?"

"Because soft tissue injuries hurt more and can linger longer than actual breaks," Keller said, stepping closer to his bed.

Ronon grunted. "Just be glad your head is as thick as it is, or you'd really be in trouble."

"Ah, thanks, I love getting ridiculed while convalescing. You try being pleasant after being awakened every damned hour or two."

"Standard procedure with head injuries, and you do have a significant concussion." 

Then Keller gestured with her hands. "Okay, enough talking. Ronon, I released you to your quarters to rest, not to sit in the infirmary for hours on end. Your teammates will be fine. Now, back to your quarters."

She turned to Rodney. "And if you want to get out of here tomorrow, you better rest, too. So, just close your mouth, lie back, and relax a bit."

When nobody moved, she waved her hands again, gesturing to Ronon and Rodney as she spoke, "I said, you shoo. And you rest."

With a reluctant sigh, Ronon left and Rodney turned over in his bed. Teyla let her eyelids drift shut, but sensed someone at her side. 

"Teyla?" Keller asked, her voice in a low whisper.

Teyla opened her eyes and Keller smiled broadly. She leaned closer and said, "I thought you might be awake."

Teyla started to talk but coughed instead, which made her side throb with pain. She heard herself groan and all she could do was try to breathe. When she opened her eyes, she saw Keller injecting something into her IV. The doctor discarded the empty syringe, and then turned back to her with a cup of ice chips in her hand. "Try these. Anesthesia can dry out your throat."

Teyla let the ice chips melt in her mouth and she was grateful for them. She said hoarsely, "I was not awake for long. I did not want to interrupt your conversation."

"How are you feeling?"

"My thoughts are slow and I am tired, but I am okay."

"Considering the severity of your infection and blood loss, along with suffering from exposure, I'd say you're doing better than okay. You and Colonel Sheppard have kept me hopping since we brought you back to Atlantis, but I'm pleased with the progress of both of you."

Teyla caught Keller's gaze and asked, "John will be okay?"

The doctor smiled and nodded. "It's going to take a few more days for his body to process the poison. The tissue damage around the bite itself was badly infected, but it appears that the course of IV antibiotics he's on is doing the job. He's a tough guy. I expect to be forced to using restraints to keep him in bed before long."

Keller's eyes sparkled with her sense of humor. She pulled out her penlight and directed its beam of light into Teyla's eyes. Keller checked a few other vital signs, and then smiled. Teyla yawned, and Keller patted her on the shoulder, saying, "The pain medication will make you drowsy. Get some sleep. You're going to be fine."

Teyla nodded and closed her eyes. Sleep had almost claimed her again as she whispered, "Yes, I think you are right."

**oOoOoOoOo**

When they passed through the stargate going to Athos this time, Teyla smiled. Her perspective now was far different than her last trip and it was good to see Athos without the depth of grief she'd felt before. She was no longer searching for answers, instead she was proud of the ones she'd found.

John seemed to sense the change in her, too, and smiled. "The weather's a lot better this time."

"Spring on Athos is like no other world I have ever been to," she said quietly.

The sun was shining brightly in the late morning sky with only a couple high altitude clouds. The hillsides were covered with vibrant greenery and a sudden abundance of wild flowers. There were birds flying about and other forest wildlife scurrying around, going about their day, and Teyla enjoyed every moment of it. This was the home of her childhood. It would always hold a special place for her, but it was no longer the place she called home. She knew with certainty that Atlantis now filled that designation for her and she was content with it.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to do a flyover of the sinkhole and see it from above," John said, interrupting her reverie.

Teyla nodded. "It will be interesting to see."

None of them had been back to Athos since the accident, so when Teyla saw the full scope of its collapse, she gasped. Her gaze darted to John and they shared a moment of shock. 

"Holy crap, will you look at that thing!" Rodney exclaimed. "It's freaking amazing that we are still alive!" 

When Teyla glanced back at him, she saw that both Rodney and Ronon were on their feet to get a better look.

"It's more than a little disturbing to know we fell into that," John said after a moment.

"And lived to tell about it," Ronon added.

John circled the area one more time and then looked at Teyla. "Okay, this is your show, where do you want to land?"

Before she could answer, Rodney said, "Wherever you choose, just make sure it's far, far away from that nightmare."

Teyla smiled and pointed. "There, on the other side of the ruins. Since we aren't staying the night or harvesting macca root, that would be the best place to land."

John nodded and navigated to the area Teyla had indicated. He was about to set down when Rodney called out, "Hold on, don't land just yet."

Teyla and John both turned in their seats with questioning expressions. 

Rodney hunched over his laptop, typing in something very quickly. After a moment, he straightened and smiled. When he looked up and saw that everyone was staring at him, he said, "Just checking the sensors for the stability of the ground below us. It's good. There's a nice solid layer of bedrock beneath us, so everyone can relax. No unexpected surprises this time around."

John shook his head and turned back to finish landing, but there was an added look of relief to his expression. It had been six weeks since their ordeal and everyone was pretty much back to normal. Ronon was no longer wearing his cast, John had shed his arm sling, and Rodney's limp was gone. All Teyla had from the injury to her side was a fading scar. Everyone was back to normal – whatever that was, she thought with a smirk.

She started to pick up her duffle bag she'd brought along, packed with the items she needed for the day when Ronon took the strap from her hand and carried it. "I've got it."

Then she picked up a covered basket, which John took from her. "If you had brought any more stuff, I'd have to ask if you were moving back here," he said with a wink.

She gave him a smile and shook her head. "No, I am not moving back here. My home is in Atlantis now. This is just a visit. And thank you both, John and Ronon, for your assistance," she said and led the way out of the jumper.

"So when are you going to let us in on why you wanted all of us to come on this trip?" John asked in a low tone as he came up beside her, "Especially since you made it obvious that you didn't want us along at all last time."

"You shall see," she said cryptically.

They arrived at the ruins of the old city moments later. She stopped at a section where there was an old stone wall in disrepair. It ran about thigh height and made for a good place to prepare things. "Give me a few moments," she said as she opened the duffle bag and began to set up.

Rodney shot John a smug look, then said, "Teyla, allow me to assist you."

Teyla bowed slightly. "Why, thank you, Rodney."

John sounded a little incredulous and hurt that he was being left out of the loop as he sputtered, "What? McKay, you know what's going on here?"

Rodney nodded, then said, "I most certainly do."

"Well, spill the beans, what is it?" John asked, taking a step closer.

Teyla turned back to her work, but watched them out of the corner of her eye. Rodney pointed to her while looking at John, and then made a zipping motion across his lips before he shrugged innocently. Moving quickly before John could comment, Rodney helped Teyla pull out the wooden serving tray. Teyla smiled at John who was still watching them with a frown and she sought to ease his distress. 

"Yes, John, Rodney is familiar with this practice of my people. Give us just another moment and I will explain everything to you."

John took a few steps away, moving toward Ronon, who was leaning against the stone wall while Teyla handed Rodney a thermos of hot water. Next, she pulled out a handmade cobalt-colored teapot and handleless cups, placing them on the tray. When she glanced over at them, she saw Ronon and John still watching them with marked confusion. 

She smiled and took a deep breath, her fingers toying with Charin's necklace that she wore around her neck, its presence comforting in ways she could never put into words. Charin had helped her to heal... at least, the version of Charin who had visited her in her dream. She thought about the dream again, wondering if it had really been a fever-induced hallucination. Somehow, it felt more real than that. There were those among her people who would have called it a vision. 

Whatever it was, maybe she could use the experience to help her team now that she had a better grasp of what she'd been feeling. She placed the tea leaves into the teapot and Rodney added the hot water. While it was steeping, she turned to John and Ronon. 

"I wanted you three to accompany me back here for a special purpose, one I probably should have explained to you in advance... I apologize for that, but a part of me was afraid you would not agree to come otherwise. I wish to do the memorial tea ceremony for Charin, and I would like all of you to participate in it with me, especially since you all contributed to my renewed perspective. I told you before I was looking for something I thought I had lost." 

She took a deep breath. "Well, the answer had been with me all along, personified in you three, my dear friends – in hope and home and friendship. I just could not see that right away as I was blinded by my grief. Before our accident, I had planned to do the ceremony alone, but now it seems more fitting to conduct it with you present."

John's expression became more serious and Rodney nodded. Ronon gave her a knowing smile. She watched the three men for a moment, and then turned back to her duffle bag and pulled out a small dark stone brazier about four inches high and five inches wide. She sat it atop the nearby stone wall, along with a slim bottle of amber liquid, a small bag with red bark sticking out of the top, her Athosian lighter, and a pair of scissors. 

This time, Rodney looked confused. She smiled at him and put a hand to his arm. "This is another of my people's practices regarding the recently deceased. I shall explain in just a moment."

Her words did nothing to assuage their confusion. Ronon tilted his head a little, then understanding gleamed in his eyes and he said, "This is also about Carson."

She nodded. "To honor his memory, to reflect our grief, and to acknowledge how their passing affects us personally, we take a small token of the person who died, along with a lock of our hair to signify our personal loss, and then each person makes a simple statement about the departed. The flames and smoke bear our thoughts and prayers to those now gone. It is done to help us bring closure to their passing, but also to show our love for their memory."

As her words sunk in, she couldn't help but notice how John frowned nervously and how his stance became rigid. Ronon scratched the back of his neck, and Rodney folded his arms in front of him. _This is not going to be easy_ , Teyla told herself, but she pressed forward anyway.

"You do not need to participate if you do not want to. It is something I must do to honor Carson and acknowledge my feelings towards him. Your words do not need to reflect your innermost feelings. It can be as simple as a sentence or even a couple of words. Though, I warn you now, Carson had such a presence in my life, I think I will have a hard time limiting myself to a few words."

Teyla turned from her friends and placed the bark carefully into the brazier, arranging the sticks until she was satisfied with their position as she gave her team time to consider their roles in the ceremony. She removed the stopper from the bottle, her nose tickling at the released aromatic scent. She placed a few drops of the oil onto the wood, and then put the resealed bottle into the bag and set it aside.

She touched her lighter to the oiled wood. It ignited immediately and the blue-green flames soon extinguished to leave the wood smoldering, giving off a pleasant scent that enfolded them even in the open air of the ruins. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she looked at them and said, "Do I have anyone here ready to join me?"

There was a moment where nobody moved, and she prayed that all of her preparations were not for nothing when Ronon nodded. "Yeah, sure, I'll do it. You don't need much hair, do you?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "As if you don't have an overabundance of it! Give me a break! When it comes to me, losing a little hair is a big deal – a very big deal. I was not endowed with the same hyperactive hairy gene that you and Sheppard have!"

John made a face at him and said, "Don't whine, McKay, it isn't becoming."

Rodney shot him a dirty look, and then his gaze narrowed. There was a shift in Rodney's demeanor and he put his fists on his hips and said, "Well, okay, let's see you agree to do this – I'll do it, if you will."

John looked surprised by the challenge, and then uncomfortable. He made a pained expression and shook his head gently, appearing to be ready to decline when he glanced at Teyla and met her gaze. Something in him shifted as he looked at her. He let out a long breath and nodded.

Teyla smiled broadly. "Good," she said simply, not wanting to spoil the moment by talking further. 

She reached into the duffle bag and took out a small picture she had of Carson with the team, something one of the kitchen staff took on Carson's last birthday, and placed it in front of the brazier. She picked up the scissors and cut a lock of her hair, dropping it into the smoldering container. The hair caught fire immediately, adding to the smoke as it burned.

She looked at each one of them as tears welled in her eyes, the significance of the ceremonies they were about to perform touching her heart. She paused for a moment, trying to steady herself. She'd swore before she left that she wouldn't cry, but deep down she'd known it had been a promise she probably wouldn't be able to carry out. She licked her lips and placed her hands together, and began to speak. 

"Carson saved my life after the explosion on Atlantis – just as he has pulled each one of you from death's grasp before."

She looked at John and added, "Some more than once."

Glancing at the picture of Carson with the team, she went on, "A healer is most blessed among our people, and a lifesaver the most revered. I have heard it said that home is not where you live, but where they understand you. Carson gave us a better sense of home every day he lived in Atlantis. While he didn't like for us to be in harm's way, he understood why we have to do what we do. His caring actions made Atlantis more of a home for the rest of us. I will never forget him or his passion for life."

Once she was done, she gazed at the three men, waiting to see who would volunteer first, though she had her suspicions of how the order would go.

Of course, it was Ronon, her brother-in-arms, who made the first move, stepping closer to her. He stopped and stood still as she walked around behind him and clipped a short tendril off one of his dreads. When she came back around him, she reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then she dropped the hair into the brazier.

Ronon approached the brazier and cleared his throat. For a moment, Teyla was afraid he wasn't going to say anything, but then he began, his voice low and soft. "When I was on the run, I saw a lot of different worlds and people, but in all of that, I never met anyone like Carson. I don't trust easily, especially not back then, but Carson hung in there, determined to take care of me despite the conditions of where he was treating me – and because of him, it was easier to start trusting the rest of you. When I think back, I probably wouldn't be around today if it hadn't been for him. I'll miss him." 

Then he stepped back. 

She glanced towards John and Rodney. After a moment, John stepped forward, bending slightly at the waist, so she'd have better access to his hair. She made a quick snipping motion and soon his hair was added to the brazier, joining the others as smoke on the wind. When John straightened, she put a hand on his cheek and held it there for a moment. John's stance was rigid but softened as he met her gaze, then he brushed at his hair as if putting it back in place.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Like you'll be able to tell the difference with those spikes of yours. My hair will be a different story entirely."

John glared at Rodney, and then turned back to Teyla. As he did, he put a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it as he thought. His gaze darted all over the place and Teyla thought he was going to back out of the ritual, but then he let out a long breath and spoke, his eyes finally resting on the grass at his feet. "A doctor is supposed to save lives, it's what they do. But for Carson Beckett, that was never enough. He had to be a part of our lives, all of our lives, and he did it so subtly, I never really noticed it until he wasn't there anymore. He will be one of those people who will always stand out in the memories of my life."

When he looked up at Teyla, he sighed. The sadness in his gaze echoed her own, and then he looked away as if he'd shared more of his emotions than he was comfortable with. 

Rodney nodded in agreement, and then made a sound that was almost a whimper as he shifted uncomfortably. Teyla smiled at him, somehow guessing where his thoughts were now. "It does not need to be very much hair, Rodney," she said softly.

His shoulders slumped in resignation. "Just go ahead and do it."

She stepped behind him and found a lock that was a little longer than the others and could be cut without being too noticeable. She snipped it and put the hair into the brazier, and then she turned to Rodney and squeezed his hand.

Rodney sighed, rolling his head on his neck as if gathering strength, and then without moving, he said, "Carson always downplayed what he did, as if it was a little thing, but it wasn't. Like Sheppard said, Carson saved lives. I'll miss him... and not only because he was a doctor, but because he cared so much about the people in Atlantis – and because he was my friend." 

Rodney's voice broke at the end and Teyla half expected to see tears fall, but they stayed welled up in his eyes. When he was done, he blinked a couple of times, and straightened his shoulders. 

Teyla's gaze went to each man, sharing a moment of silent communication before she said, "I think all of us will miss him and we will most definitely never forget him."

Then she picked up the bottle and added more oil to the brazier, bringing the smoldering pot to full flame. She placed the photo into the flames. It resisted the fire for a moment as she said, "To Carson. May he always live in our hearts in a privileged place of honor and caring."

When she finished, the photo ignited in a bright flash of fire, and then it was gone a few seconds later. They stood there for a moment, staring at the ashes, each involved in their own private thoughts until Rodney looked up at her and said, "So, do we do the memorial tea ceremony now?"

She nodded. He moved to the teapot and started pouring the tea. Teyla smiled. "I have also packed a simple lunch for us to share before we head back home."

Rodney smiled broadly. "Good, because I'm starving."

"What's new about that?" John asked, seeming relieved now that the tribute to Carson was done.

Rodney finished pouring the tea, and then paused, holding out the cup of steaming tea for Teyla. He bowed his head before Teyla's and moved until their heads touched. They stayed like that for a long moment, and then Rodney spoke in a tone barely above a whisper, "We are here today to remember Charin because she was a great woman. She was very important to Teyla and that makes her very important to us."

Teyla felt tears well in her eyes, touched by the unexpected comment, her emotions too close to the surface because of the occasion. Rodney backed away and she looked up at him, and then at Ronon and John standing right behind him. She was left speechless by what she saw in their eyes. Friendship, devotion, admiration – all of those things she held most dear were reflected in their expressions.

No one moved for a long moment until Rodney broke the spell. He turned and handed John and Ronon a cup of tea. When done, he held his cup up in a toast. "To Charin. To Teyla. We are stronger for their presence."

Then he lowered his cup and cursed. "Damn, I said it wrong, didn't I? It was supposed to be we are stronger because – "

Teyla smiled and interrupted him. "I liked your version better, Rodney. Much better."

Her gaze took in all three men, her friends, her comrades, her teammates. Somehow, she also felt Carson's presence there too, along with Charin's. Grief could be a devastating thing, but once weathered, a strength within could be discovered, a strength that would carry throughout life. When she looked at the others, she saw a quiet strength in each of them, strengths she'd come to rely on.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to remember every word that had been said, every expression, the sunlight, the sounds of the forest, the scent of wild flowers, the ground under her feet – all in an effort to commit this special moment to memory for the rest of her life.

Somebody cleared their throat, probably Rodney, then Rodney said, "I'm kind of hungry. Would it be poor manners to start breaking out the food?"

He stopped, blinking a few times as he put out a hand in Teyla's direction. "Ah, crap, I probably broke some other Athosian practice by changing the subject too soon, didn't I?"

John rolled his eyes and growled, "McKay, just shut up until Teyla tells us what to do next."

Teyla laughed and shook her head. "Next, we eat," she said as she opened the basket and began taking out items. 

Rodney cleared his throat as he spread a tablecloth on the ground, and then sat waiting for his food. He said in a singsong tone, "I hear there's supposed to be some special cargo on the Daedalus when it arrives tomorrow." 

"What's that?" John asked, joining him on the ground.

Ronon grunted as he sat and folded his long legs in front of him. "New movies."

Rodney looked disappointed. "How'd you find out?"

Ronon shrugged. "I hear things."

John looked at Ronon with surprise, and then at Rodney with interest, "Oh yeah? Which ones?"

"Well, I was able to hack into – I mean, I accidentally discovered that it's quite a large selection of films." 

As Rodney relayed the specific information, Teyla sat down beside them and began passing out the meal. The sunlight was warm and she reveled in its relaxing rays. She looked at each of her friends, again grateful for their presence in her life. They were like sunlight to her soul and she basked in their radiance. 

The guys were already eating, swallowing the food in between bits of conversation. It appeared they all had quite an appetite. There was a peaceful tone to their discussion, as if they didn't seem as burdened as when they'd first arrived. Perhaps the ceremonies had helped them deal with their own grief a little easier. At least, she hoped it had, but their grief wasn't something that would be resolved over night. She knew that firsthand, but it was a step in the right direction.

She leaned back against the stone wall as she picked up her plate of food and discovered an appetite of her own. As she ate, she smiled. She listened to the rest of her team do what they did best – interact together in their own unique way – be it on a mission, in training, or at rest, and she simply enjoyed the moment. 

**oOoOoOoOo**

_It took me a year to get this story finished – well, actually the bulk of the story was written over three months – but a year from beginning to end. At first, it was just Teyla and John trapped in the sinkhole, but that didn't work out well. While I have no problem with shippers, I didn't want this story to be about romance, mostly cuz I suck at writing romance._

_I wanted to write story with Teyla, mostly because she was the character who intimidated me the most, even more than McKay. So, it became a team fic; my fav kind of sga stories are team fics. If John is the ringleader, McKay is the brain, Ronon the brawn, that left Teyla to be the conscience for the team... though there are times when the team becomes Teyla's conscience._

_I didn't really start the story in earnest until after I lost my father at the end of October, which spurred the quest for the answers to my own grief, and it wasn't just the grief of losing my father – it brought up issues of losing my mother a couple of years back, some dear friends, even my grandmother decades before. I found I never really resolve grief well. If I had a choice, I'd never deal with any of it, but then that wouldn't allow for growth in the midst of the struggle, so I prod along, doing the best I can with what I have available._

_And writing is one of the best things I can do that channels emotional turmoil into something positive. I learned a lot about Teyla and I love her so much more than I did a year ago. She's an awesome character and one that I will write again._

_A special thanks to my dear friend and beta reader, Teprac S. Trust me, her suggestions made the final chapter ever so much better! She's a great writer in her own right and has taught me many wonderful things about the craft of writing. She always makes me a better writer – even if she does make every one of my stories longer and longer from her efforts! And I'm very lucky to have her as my friend._


End file.
